Should I tell him about my past?

So I am friends with this guy.(we met four months ago) However I am unable to be myself around him and its really difficult. He just recently graduated from college and wants to hang out with me one last time but I am terrified. The reason is because I was sexually abused and this has sadly affected my life and How I interact with men. I often freeze up when I am around him and had flash backs in the past while when with him. So my question is should I tell him about my past?or not? He seems like he is an understanding guy and is really nice. Will he hate me?

I still might see him again he is still going to be in the state that I live in.
Also I never been real close with men in general (not even friendships) because of the abuse. I am getting help also so still working through it.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Hey... that is a really tough thing you have to deal with! My heart goes out to you and l truly wish you the best. Hard as it is, l believe we can all get beyond such things in the end. Good luck to you!

    You say that he seems like a decent guy...

    I would say, sure... when the right moment comes up (and l think you will have to be the judge of that) it would be a wise- and good- thing to say something to him about it... if you like him as a friend and / or especially as something more.

    I can tell you one thing- he will NOT hate you in any way, shape or form. It is possible that he will not be entirely sure how to take such an admission, but if he is the sort of guy you describe, he will be very understanding.

    Every guy who has answered here has said pretty much the same thing... that yes, saying something is probably the way to go. That is because we all know that we would be very understanding and accepting- and that your friend almost certainly will be as well.

    BatDoc had it right when he said that a good guy (no matter how good) may possibly have a somewhat difficult time over the VERY long haul... indefinitely... if they are inclined towards romantic notions with you (should you continue having real intimacy difficulties)... but they will certainly be understanding, nonetheless. In the end, it will all come down to you- and how far you've come in your quest to "move forward".

    As someone else said, it is NOT your fault, never WAS your fault... EVER. You suffered a terrible situation. Realize though that there really are a LOT of good, loving, decent and caring men out there. l truly hope one day that you will find one- and find happiness (and freedom) from an unfortunate beginning.

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      Thank you so much and for everyone who took the time to reply to my question it was very helpful and I very much appreciate it. I will try my best to tell him and thanks again.