I've tried paying but he won't let me and insists he pay. But I feel like it's even because I do things for him. Like I go grocery shopping for him (with his credit card), cook (sometimes) & clean for him (he doesn't like me doing so for his roommates).
Sometimes we go to cheap restaurants, other times we go to more expensive restaurants.
Is that unfair?
Most Helpful Guy
Nope, not unfair because you have more traditional values so you're not one of the feminist nut jobs saying she wants equality when she really doesn't. All is well.
If I was in his place, I would insist on paying all the time, but I would also want to do things like go shopping, cook, clean, etc. I would want to be responsible, and I would not want to pay a girlfriend/wife, and trade that for having her do all the chores. But if you want to be a stay-at-home mom in the future and he works, then that's fine. It is equal if you do all the chores, and he does all the work to bring in the money.
if he's the traditional type, makes good money, is willing and able...I say...don't worry about it! It makes him feel needed and 'the breadwinner' in the relationship so just let it be. It balances out with you doing grocery shopping, cooking and cleaning. Soooooo...seems fair! It's more of a traditional relationship roles but as long as you're both cool with...no need to worry.
If he insists on paying for dinners and dates you should treat him to other things. You don't have to ask him to get him gifts. So if he treats you to a few dinners, and you get him something it sort of balances it out without having to argue over who gets to pay the bill.
Since he insists and genuinely wants to then no. Sometimes my boyfriend and I split the costs on dates (he'll pay for dinner, I'll pay for the movie, ect.) but then other times he won't let me pay for anything and he really wants to pay for our whole date so I don't see a problem with that. So to answer your question, no, that is not unfair.
Being a personal shopper, cooking and cleaning is very convenient. If he didn't have a girlfriend doing it he'd either have to do it himself or pay for a personal assistant/chef/maid. So it's not unfair, its even
From the mouth of my trusted baby brother, "Let him pay, he feels good doing it." Basically, the guy should pay at least for the first 2-3 times, & you can make the offer after that. It reinforces his self image as a man, a provider, a protector. Yeah, we women like our independence, but what's wrong with being the lady & letting him be the gentleman?