Is it unfair that my boyfriend pays for everything?

He pays for dinner, dates etc

I've tried paying but he won't let me and insists he pay. But I feel like it's even because I do things for him. Like I go grocery shopping for him (with his credit card), cook (sometimes) & clean for him (he doesn't like me doing so for his roommates).

Sometimes we go to cheap restaurants, other times we go to more expensive restaurants.

Is that unfair?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Nope, not unfair because you have more traditional values so you're not one of the feminist nut jobs saying she wants equality when she really doesn't. All is well.


What Guys Said 13

  • It is a bit unfair. But it's what he wants to do. His wallet.

  • If I was in his place, I would insist on paying all the time, but I would also want to do things like go shopping, cook, clean, etc. I would want to be responsible, and I would not want to pay a girlfriend/wife, and trade that for having her do all the chores. But if you want to be a stay-at-home mom in the future and he works, then that's fine. It is equal if you do all the chores, and he does all the work to bring in the money.

  • if he's the traditional type, makes good money, is willing and able...I say...don't worry about it! It makes him feel needed and 'the breadwinner' in the relationship so just let it be. It balances out with you doing grocery shopping, cooking and cleaning. Soooooo...seems fair! It's more of a traditional relationship roles but as long as you're both cool need to worry.

  • does he pay for your wifi?

  • If he insists on paying for dinners and dates you should treat him to other things. You don't have to ask him to get him gifts. So if he treats you to a few dinners, and you get him something it sort of balances it out without having to argue over who gets to pay the bill.

  • its not necessarily unfair, its just tradition.

  • Quite fair since he insists.

  • In this day and age? Yes. But I guess if he's willing to do it when you've offered, you're in the clear. Don't stress over it too much.

  • Is that you in the photo montage?

  • yes

    • Its time you chip in p.l.c.

    • Show All
    • I guess you didn't read...I said I cook and clean for him

    • I understand, warm apple pie and clean up after him.

  • You offered. So, no, it's not unfair.

  • No it's not. He wants to pay for everything and you tried paying and he didn't let you so he has no problem with it


What Girls Said 6

  • Since he insists and genuinely wants to then no. Sometimes my boyfriend and I split the costs on dates (he'll pay for dinner, I'll pay for the movie, ect.) but then other times he won't let me pay for anything and he really wants to pay for our whole date so I don't see a problem with that. So to answer your question, no, that is not unfair.

  • He doesn't sound to have a problem with that and you don't sound to have a problem with that either.

    Who cares what I think or what other people think?

    You could always buy him more gifts if you think it's unfair, or you could do more things for him.

  • Being a personal shopper, cooking and cleaning is very convenient. If he didn't have a girlfriend doing it he'd either have to do it himself or pay for a personal assistant/chef/maid. So it's not unfair, its even

  • You're trying to pay and he won't let you. His decision. Just don't feel obligated to do things you aren't comfortable with just because he paid, and you're good.

    • If I let a woman do all the work, then I would feel guilty, thinking that I'm taking advantage of her. I think it's okay if she doesn't have a job or something though.

    • Exactly.

  • From the mouth of my trusted baby brother, "Let him pay, he feels good doing it." Basically, the guy should pay at least for the first 2-3 times, & you can make the offer after that. It reinforces his self image as a man, a provider, a protector. Yeah, we women like our independence, but what's wrong with being the lady & letting him be the gentleman?

  • No, he wants to.. Let him. You offered, he refuse.

    My boyfriend is the same way, but the situation is different. I'm saving up money and he doesn't want me spending any of it. So I just offer gas money.