Have you ever met someone whom you felt have DECIDED to like you without/before even knowing you well?

It seems like a weird question, but that's how I felt with one guy recently. I'm interested to know if I'm the only one who have come across someone like this.

They keep on flattering you, complimenting you and make you believe that there's a connection between you without even knowing you. You have known each other for days or a couple of weeks.

Has it ever happen to you? Why do you think they act like that? Why do they decide to like you without even knowing you well?

I'd love to hear your story/advice. :)


Most Helpful Girl

  • Guys often decide within seconds whether or not they're interested because of how girls look. I'm not going to deny that girls sometimes do that too, but usually girls aren't going to be completely interested in a guy before he even opens his mouth. But guys do that all the time.

    A couple days ago the new girl who works at the post office next door to my restaurant came in for the first time. All the poor girl did was tell us she was working next door, order her food and leave, and as soon as the door swung shut behind her, my creepy coworker (who scared so many girls out of the restaurant that the owner told us to stop letting him work with customers) instantly said, "she's perfect." And when her food was ready and the manager told me to bring it to her, my idiot coworker literally pushed me into the wall and screamed, "I wanna take it! I wanna take it!" really loud in front of the customers. The manager told him no but he took the food and ran out the door. Then when he came back he announced that he loved her, and then I remembered that I didn't ask her her name so I asked him what it was and he said, "why would I know that?"

    The bottom line is, guys can be really, really narrow when it comes to what they like about girls. All he cared about was that she was pretty (which she really is), even though she's way out of his league. He's done that with tons of girls, myself included at the very beginning (but I shot him down really quick and he made angry faces at me for like a month after that, which was longer than I had known him at the time I said no). Guys see a girl they find attractive, and then they go for it instantly, because they think that waiting too long is what lands them in the "friend zone," failing to see that jumping in too quick lands them in the "creeper zone," from which there is no escape.

    • You helped a lot. Thanks. :) Your coworker is so weird. He's the perfect example of an immature, selfish and empty-headed person. I just hate it when guys think of us as a tool for their own pleasure without considering our feelings and thoughts. It seems weird to me that he's trying too hard to make me believe that we have a connection already. Everything I say is identical to what he believes in (oh, yeah) and whatnot. How should I deal with him? Could it ever be genuine?

    • Guys like that do believe that it's genuine. If a guy is "in love" with a girl instantly or believes in love at first sight, then he doesn't understand the difference between love and physical attraction. Guys like that are immature and not worth any girl's time.

What Guys Said 15

  • Of course, it happens all the time. You don't need to know someone's life history to like them..you feel you are with someone worthwhile, just by instinct, by the aura they have.

    • I do agree with this. however it has its limitations in practicality and ultimate usefulness-- really depends on how delusional the person is.

      feeling a connection from an overall essence is one thing. but deciding what how when why the person thinks acts believes wants.. that's another matter- called 'disaster'.

  • I've done that, I'm afraid.

    I got "acquaintance zoned". I was the odd man out in an art class, the guy with no talent.

    It was like being at a party where your only friend is the annoying dude. LIke trying to fit in with unfriendly people who don't speak the same language.

    Overall, the situation sucked. I had the impression everyone there was making fun of me behind my back.

    She was the only girl that ever interacted with me outside of class.

    In a land of confusion I reached out to someone who seemed friendly. And she was cute, so it wasn't too hard. I just misjudged the situation.

    To her, I was just some guy in class - so she had no idea why I was singling her out.

    I'd simply found her engaging. So I paid attention to her artwork, and tried to get to know her.

    Now it's in the past, I don't really think it was all that big a deal. When someone rejects your advances, it's more than likely due to their mindset than your approach. That's what men have to live with.

    You're the selectors, we're just the ones going around seeing if we've got what you're interested in. I value myself. I may try to get you to see who I am and botch it, but that doesn't affect my self worth.

    So, don't worry about him. He's used to it.

  • In one sense, this is essentially the age-old question, "(Do you believe in/Is there a such thing as) love at first sight?"

    My personal belief: No. You seem to be asking the fellow ladies, but I'll add my opinion for the hell of it; I'm an exception to men, or so I feel, but this question isn't often posed to men because, all too often, the answer seems to be, "Psssh, who cares, she hot? I'll tap that."

    I will not deny that there are people out there who can read people enough, through body language, to know **generally** if someone is a decent person. In this case, that sensed decency, plus a physical attraction, can elicit an interest. Love, perhaps not. Infatuation, certainly. It's an old example, considering I am almost 29, but when I was 13, my first crush literally 'happened' the first time I saw my crush singing in the choir. I was instantly interested due to her beautiful solo voice, and angelic appearance, though I knew nothing more about her. And, I certainly cannot say I was in love with her.

    I feel I have a very strong "douche detector", both with men and women. I feel it's from working in customer service, getting a lot of experience with different types of people. I personally think this guy is right; you're doing your research before making a decision, which shows that, though uncertain what is going on, you care enough to do something before making a decision. This, however, doesn't mean the guy is right for you; for that is another question entirely, something that cannot be answered even in this long-winded message.

    In short, I feel this is normal; based on generally-limited social interaction, attraction based on appearance seems to be the norm (hence the giant "friend-zone" issue), though this does NOT mean this guy is right for you. Tread carefully, and recognize true appreciation and care.

    Should you respond to my answer, please do not expect a prompt response; my internet connection, and personal availability, are intermittent. =/

    Best of luck!


    • Thanks. :) I am not talking about love though. Trying too hard to create a connection or making me believe that there is a connection already is what makes me feel uncomfortable. Does it look strange to you too?

    • Well, if a guy is trying to conjure a connection out of thin air, and/or professing his undying love for you after three hours, yes, that is strange. I guess I was thinking of a normal "chase", in which case persistence would be very normal. On the other hand, I know from experience that occasionally, there will be a woman that is so striking in one way or another that I can't help but be thrilled simply by being in her presence. So, he may be feeling a 'connection' on his side. [cont.]

    • If his feelings turn him stalker-ish, then it's a problem... but these one-sided things seem to happen all the time; any instance of friend-zoning is an example of that, in a sense.

  • OH YES I have and recently at that :D just that it's the other way round, I fit the bill of the guy you mention here ha ha ha

    NOW I'd like YOU to tell me why I 'act' that way :D :D I'm at a loss to understand myself.

    My inputs if any will come later ;)

    AH I just read the MH and my 1st input, I don't know how she looks lol nor do I have any visual in my head - never bothered with it nor tried to put pieces of a puzzle together with what little I know ha ha

    • You explain that to me. :) Must be interesting to know. Looking forward to reading your explanation ;-)

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    • Phew - thankfully (this girl's a tigress lol)

    • LOL =D

  • According to me , I think it's because of INSTANT attraction...When you see a person who meets 10/10 of your criteria ,then you'll fall instantly for him/her..

    but the falling for him/her propensity differs from person to person lol :)

    hope this helps ^_^

    • So, you think it's pretty normal?

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    • hahaha..Again like I said ,Propensity differs..some people gets infatuated by opposite gender very early :)

    • Thanks. :)

  • LOL that guy just under has one hell of a story.

    Yeah people in self help circles are immediately your best friend. It's creepy. Feels like there's a hidden agenda.

    • People in self help circles that want to sell you their product*

      Only ever seen those :D:D

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    • ummmm I generally just do something like nod, smile, acknowledge them, indulge them with "yeah yeah, oh cool, nice" and then get out of there asap xDDDD

    • Hahaha

  • I think every girl that I've liked I started liking before I knew them well.

  • never happened. I don't look beastly enough for that to happen lol

  • I call them clingy.

  • Yeah once. I was talking to this girl on the net and after 10 days after first meeting her online... she admitted she liked me. I don't know what was to blame. Maybe the things I said? Anyway, it didn't work out.

  • I've been on the other side of this. Basically I'd been watching this girl in my class for a couple of days and I thought she was really cute. But when I asked her out she said she didn't know me well enough. In my case, I knew her more than she knew me. Give the dude a chance :)

  • yes, but for me it was always more about their looks than personality. so you better just take a step back and think about that for a bit. do you think he really likes you? or just your looks?

    • I don't believe you can really like someone after two days, haha. I just think it's weird.

  • Well it depends on the like...

    There is I am interested in them and want to know more

    I am attracted to them physically...

    I'm just looking for anyone...

    I think it's NORMAL to like and be attracted to someone, and then want to learn more about them. ANd it's okay to LIKE someone after even knowing a little bit about their interests.

    as long as you don't say you LOVE the person in one day lol.. then we have a problem. Liking is okay and normal.

  • Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

  • A player

    • Why so?

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    • Hahaha thanks for your answer. I don't really know him to do all that. We've spoken for twice or maybe thrice. That's why I think he's weird with all his compliments and his efforts in making me believe that we have so much in common. Sounds weird, huh? Some people think it's an instant attraction, but I just don't get it.

    • Here's the (basically it seems) same question:


What Girls Said 12

  • I've never actually "decided" to like anyone, It's just a natural feeling like occurs.

    Some people have to put more effort into me noticing or liking them before I begin to feel this way.

    With others, it happens almost rather quickly.

    This is called attraction, and sometimes the level of it is rather strong.

    • I meant its a natural feeling that occurs.

  • Yes I have met people like this and I think its because they genuinely are just really happy/eager to know you and like what they do know so far OR its fake and they have ulterior motives lol.

    • Hahaha thanks. What kind of ulterior motives could it be?

    • Well for a guy online he probably wants cyber wohoo from you with some pics or cam time hahaha. If its a guy in person he probably wants to hook up with you. If its a girl she probably wants something you have... you know just sponges. But in time I think its obvious if they are genuine or shady. The shady ones never stick around long if they don't get what they want.

    • It's someone in person, haha. Thanks for your answer. :)

  • Yeah, this guy in high school told one of my friends he was really into me and I hadn't even laid eyes on him before, he added me on windows I'm and he kept telling me how much he liked me. I was really weirded out and I couldn't (from then on) talk to him normally.

    He then turned out to be gay and people started to say I had turned him gay when I didn't do anything at all.

    I don't know why he acted like that maybe he thought if it doesn't work out with her it won't work out with any other girl.

  • A LOT of guys seem to do this. They will either be head over heel for you without any relationship or dates and it's incredibly odd! I know that they're only in to my looks or the version of me they have build up in their heads. The more concerning part is when they try to mould you in to the version of you they have...

    Also when you do agree to date them and they're almost trying to force a relationship/titles on to you right away.

    • "I know that they're only in to my looks or the version of me they have build up in their heads." Exactly! He is trying too hard to create a connection or worse making me believe that there's a connection already. We've spoken twice or something, so we don't one another. Why does he act like this and how should I deal with him? Do you think it could ever be genuine? Lots of questions I know. :)

  • Yes.,

    I wouldn't recommend it. expectations and subsequent disappointment potentially run very high.

    I would also question the mental capacities / emotional stability, of someone who believes they can think so highly of a virtual stranger.

    • Yup, true. Trying too hard to create a connection or making me believe that there is a connection already is what makes me feel uncomfortable. Does it look strange to you too?

    • its ucomfortable when someone tries to force a connection.

      it sucks as well, when you actually like the guy but because he fell for you months before you even know each other he's got all various facits of who you are worked out. its rarely got anything to do with who you are and its quite a burden having to disabuse him from his ill formed misconceptions.

      aside from instantly deciding you want to get to know someone-- things should unfold over time through experience. not expectations, imo

  • I've had this. My ex asked me to be his girlfriend the night he met me. I thought it was strange, especially since I had just gotten out of a relationship. I went with it anyways and it ended up being a great relationship. He later told me that I reminded him of a girl he had dream about as a kid so he thought I was "the one." I suppose its strange, but it was kind of cute in its own way :)

    • That's very romantic. :)

    • Thank you :) It is really sweet. I hope he is with a great girl now :)

  • Yes it happens a lot on online dating sites.

  • I would think that tends to happen when you find someone very appealing to you at a glance. You decide to want to get to know them, and you decide to like them based on attraction, and unless they prove you otherwise with a bad personality that doesn't click with yours, then you'll keep complimenting them and getting to like them even more?

    I mean, I don't do that.. but It's what makes sense.. as to why someone would do it.

  • No, but you have :-P

    I have dated guys before that didn't seem to like anything about me, really. But they acted like they did. That's similar.

    • LOL @ "No, but you have ". Yeah, very similar I guess.

  • Yeah, there was this guy who came up to me out of nowhere when I was walking to class. He said: "Girl, I don't know you well, but you're so dam pretty would you go out with me?" I was taken aback because that was so sudden, and I never even laid eyes on him AT ALL. But it was so flattering I almost said yes but instead I shook my head because I already liked someone else.

  • Yes he wanted sex