My spine is crooked - does it mean that I can't be attractive?

My body image is very very poor :( because of my f*****g spine. The fact that I will never have a perfect body is driving me crazy! What do you think? How do you deal with it, if you were in my shoes?

Pictures are on my profile!


Thank you alll so much for your answers!

To Sib999: My experience with doctors is almost the same - they told me that there is no chance to fix it, it can only get worse, I felt so frustrated and hopeless after these words :(. And yes, I live in a cold climate :).


Most Helpful Girl

  • I feel you. I was born with scoliosis, a spine deformity I inherited from my mother. Mine's an inverted S shape along my back, which can be seen easily unless I take measures to hide it.

    I was diagnosed when I was getting into high school. The doctor was very blunt and hopeless. He basically said I had to attach myself to an orthopedic device and hang onto it -6 hours a day- and spend the rest of the day laying in bed... but even if I did that, I'd never be a "normal" girl.

    I left the doctor's office in tears. I was already very shy back then, to the point people made me anxious. Add that to not having friends, and getting into a whole new school.

    "I hate the way she walks", said a sophomore to her friends while I was passing through. "What'cha looking at?" I was looked at like some circus freak. A classmate once pushed me to make his friends laugh. I was miserable for years.. and I blamed a big part of it to my condition.

    However.. near the end of high school, I met a few people who were different. They didn't judge me. They were friendly, just like that.

    With them, I started to grow more outgoing. I stopped caring about what people would think or say. I got confidence.

    And that confidence... boy that's all I could ever need. Being confident in yourself, you look good no matter how your body is. Just like that. Being confident, you can talk to people just like that. Being confident, you become attractive, just like that!

    I finally listened to my mother's advice on clothing and looks. Due to my condition I only wore loose clothes. I learned to pick nice clothes that hide my curvature. Oh boy, the lesson was well learned. Now at university, I feel like a completely different person. And it shows through! I have no trouble speaking with people anymore. I walk proudly, even if I'm short. I look better because I learned how to dress and make up, not to mention I feel confident about myself. If someone still stares at me with a weird look, I don't care anymore! Screw you, I'm f***ing gorgeous! And it shows through - specially for the opposite sex.

    So please, don't ever think you're at a "disadvantage" or you're "not attractive". If you accept yourself, people will accept you.

    I have to say you have it easier being a guy (not being sexist, I'm merely talking about looks/clothing) but I think you can get away with it like this:

    - Don't wear very tight shirts. If you live in a cold climate, try 2 pieces of clothes. A good coat is hot.

    - Take care of your posture. Walk tall and proud! This also helps for your confidence.

    - Try carrying a pocket mirror when you shop for clothes. It'll help you find out if you're trying on something that shows your deformity. (Looked at your pics though, I think you'll get by without too much effort! - not to mention you look great!-)

    But the most important, and I can't stress it enough: just be confident! If silly me could do it, there's no way you can't!

    • I was trying to "hide" my curvature for a very long time. It drove me nuts. I think the best practice is to acknowledge that you got a medical condition if somebody asks you. Now the fact is that if somebody really wants to look at your spine and "spot" something wrong with it they will and no amount of hiding will do. But, many people haven't learned enough anatomy to know that this is scoliosis. And probably most will not have a problem with this. As for dating I don't know, never been there.

    • Yep it's best to acknowledge it if the situation arises. By learning to dress, such moments can be avoided (work, school, etc...people often will unknowingly judge by looks so this is a matter of convenience/being practical) but you can't hide it forever, specially from people who are close to you.

      As for dating, it's no biggie. It depends on the person, but if he/she gets to know you and develops feelings for you, he/she won't care. At least none of the guys I've dated has minded it so far.

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What Girls Said 4

  • You're very attractive, I think it looks just fine! You should be actually pretty happy with your body. I mean yeah, you don't have a 6 pack but that DOES NOT mean you aren't attractive at all! Any girl would be lucky to be yours. Plus, it could be a lot worse. You could be in a wheelchair or completely paralyzed etc. and not be able to do anything. Be happy with yourself, be happy you're alive, well, able to walk, feed yourself etc. :)

  • people have problems with their bodies,you just have to learn to accept it link and,agreed with cromartie

  • can't you re correct it with surgery or does it depend on the severity of the scoliosis?

  • You're really hot. I definitely think most people can look past your spine, now you need to.


What Guys Said 3

  • i have a less severe case of scoliosis than that and I don't believe it has affected me in any way I mean I walk with a bit of a limp because of it but most women take it as I'm walking with "swagger" haha...i would just try to find a girl to date I mean if you are so hung up with needing a girlfriend try to date a few and see how it goes...

  • I can only give you one advice, and that is to seek professional psychological help. It might not help you get girls in a direct way but the body image issues can and should be tackled.

    I've got a pretty advanced scoliosis stage. Some months ago all I could think in the public transport was: "are these people seeing my curve?" But, with a therapist's help it got to the point where I do not think that strangers see my deformity. As a matter of fact the many of people don't have a bloody idea what scoliosis is in the first place. Now, well can't give advice on girls I'm not very good on this. But these issues with body image can be tacked, but it will take some time. Besides there are vast details which are interlinked that can be solved only with outside help(psychotherapist) from a completely different perspective.

  • If I were you I wouldn't worry about being attractive and worry about pain management and preventative care.