Is there a female aversion to dating a lone wolf?
Okay, I ask, because I am a lone wolf. I have very little interest in social bullshit, and all of my former friends, are living their married lives, shunning me, as the unmarried one. That's fine. I have adapted to the ways of the lone wolf. Does not mean I am not socially savvy... I just don't see any importance to it. All I have achieved in life, was done on my own, without the reliance upon others. Self made person, to the extreme. However, when it is realized that I cut connections with the leaches I called family, and cut ties with those who used to be friends, as well as being uninterested in being friends with anyone, I am viewed as "undatable" by most women, and the only women interested, wreaks of desperation. I don't want the desperate single mom with multiple kids, from multiple men. I don't want the woman that has been rejected by every man, because of whatever, and now she is desperate to find a man. No! But it seems to me, that the only ones that even want to take a chance with me, seem to be desperate. Am I desperate? No. I just want to do something that makes me at least appreciate life, opposed to the constant battles. I am financially secure, I am not some fat ass, and the majority of women I randomly associate with say that I am attractive. However, I have experienced that my lone wolf status, is both a faux pas, and a handicap. Not to mention, I barely trust anyone, but myself. That being said, what is the breakdown, here? The instance it is uncovered that I am a lone wolf, I get every excuse in the world, then I am back to square one. Perhaps I should find a lone female wolf? Easier said than done. Like trying to find an emerald, in a grass field, at night.
So, what is the aversion toward the lone wolf?
This question has a poll!
THAT IS WHERE I ALWAYS ENCOUNTER WOMEN I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH.
What's Your Opinion?
Most Helpful Opinion
I think there mysterious, intresting and attractive but there also scary and intimidating. Scary because you wanna talk to them but you don't know how theyll react, how they are or anything since there so kept to themself and I guess intimidating for the same reasons, like you don't know if there a loan wolf because they choosed it or because there just shy etc. So even if I was attracted to a guy like that and trust me it has happened I will not do anything about it because there too hard to read and I need to analyze someone before I can approach them and if I can't I just admire from afar lmfao jk but you get what I mean
What Girls Said 9
I think I like the idea of a 'lone wolf' kind of guy, but I wonder how the reality of it would play out. Anyway, I don't have an aversion to dating them. I just don't really meet them. Even if we do cross paths, if I get the feeling he'd rather be left alone... well, that's not really encouraging. I'd rather not impose.
well if you have qualities women don't like you aren't top of the dating barrell either so you're being rather snobbish to turn your nose up at everyone except the 'hot list' :l you're not a lone wolf lol, you're just an introvert
i wouldn't mind dating an introvert and I'm none of those women you talked about, its just a preference as most women are extroverts and like to socialize so they want someone willing to sit there with them and talk or go out to nice places together.
I guess lone wolves are fine. I'm alpha-omega lol so I rarely encounter others on journeys. I'd like to guess they have some securities about them and then a couple issues. Usually the ones I've met here and there tend to try to be open-minded and rounded about the world. They're as available as they are occupied. However lone wolves should interact every once in a while it becomes possible to be feral. How would you say you attract these so-called desperate women? Are you sure they're even desperate or you don't understand how they're trying to connect with you?
First of all, probably stop referring to it as the lone wolf. Sounds like Zach Galifianakis in the hangover. Really silly. Second, where are you finding these desperate women? Most of the time, when people come into contact with the same type of woman, it's because they are looking in all the same places. Can't catch a big fish in a little pond. Expand your perimeters. How can you expect to find someone when you trust no one? Who would want to deal with that? Desperate women, right? Exactly. If you're attracting the wrong type of woman, maybe examine yourself first.
I think someone woman will find this alluring because they like the challenge of "breaking" you. They want to be the woman you open to and the one you trust. It's very satisfying to make someone who is guarded and standoffish open up to you and be vulnerable with you. But you seem very picky, which I understand since I am as well, but this can be a turn off. And as you probably know women love to be loved, so if you don't act affectionate or say nice things here and there she will probably grow tired of it and leave you.
I once had a guy show interest in me and I turned him down because he only had one friend. It seems the loners seem to like me more than the popular guys. I didn't want to be the only one that he invested all of his heart into and I assumed he would be desperate if I was the only friend he had other than that other guy.
I have no aversion to men who have no social circle. I would probably be curious to know why, but once explained it wouldn't affect my choice to continue seeing someone. I do go out with my friends on occasion (about once per month, usually concerts)...would you be willing to go out with my friends and be social? Or, at the least would you not give me a hard time about it when I go? Because you chose to remove certain people out of your life do you view it badly if your S.O. wants to maintain her friendships? That's the only potential problem I could foresee with this issue...that you would judge, or try to lessen the importance of my friendships because they are not important to you.
Haha have you stumbled into Ayn Rand my friend?
If not, let me introduce you. She's was a Russian immigrant to America who invented the philosophy known as Objectivism. She was extremely utilitarian in how she viewed people, yet at the same time: possessed contradictions in her world views, because she loved beauty. Beauty, very often has no function except to be beautiful.
Anyway, she also called people who did not produce things "leeches". Here's her definition of love, "Love is the expression of one's values, the greatest reward you can earn for the moral qualities you have achieved in your character and person, the emotional price paid by one man for the joy he receives from the virtues of another."
She had enormous expectations for others. She idolized the physical beauty that she lacked. She also, was a lone wolf. Watch one of her interviews, and then ask yourself: if she were living today and was your age, would you date her? If not, what is it about her that you don't find attractive?
People love reading her books because readers feel like THEY are the titans, the great misunderstood cosmic thinkers who are carrying society. Yet, in person? Ayn Rand wasn't the nicest or even most logical person, and people who were close to her really found it agitating to be around her, despite trying to love her.
You, my friend, are too utilitarian in your dealings with people. You believe that because you have accomplished something very very hard (with your career?), you think that since you are smart, you should obviously be able to do something that the stupid people do! Even stupid people can have a relationships. There are many stupid girls who should feel grateful that someone as smart as you would want to date them at all, right?
Welp, unfortunately the world doesn't work quite that logically. I used to think like you. I too have accomplished a lot with my career. I was efficient and apathetic in my dealings with people. I was on the fast track to success, had guys always telling me how beautiful I was, how I walked like a model. Yet when the got to know me? They ran the other way.
Then, I read this book: "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie.
That will explain everything you need to know!
The thing is, relationships are not based on raw intellect. Success in relationships is dependent on an entirely different skill set. What is it? That's what you're going to have to read to find out.
I succeeded in dating on my first attempt after reading that book. I've been dating him for 5 years. We have never had a fight. He's smart, easy-going, physically attractive, treats me like a princess, gives me space, but also pushes me out of my comfort zone in a good way.
Just because you're smart doesn't mean that you're naturally good at everything. It just means that you'll be able to pick up skills faster. And dating/relationships? They are a SKILL.
Learn the right way + practice = success.
It's not neccesarily "unattractive", but here's the thing- I'm not very likely to meet you and get to know you if you never engage in a social activity. And if I met you online, I would be worried that you were a creeper, so I would be apprehensive. Say we met at work, and you asked me out- if I was attracted to you and liked your personality, I would give it a shot. I would just be worried about 2 things: 1) I do have friends that I like to spend time with. If I am your only friend, are you going to get jealous if I want to go out with them one night instead of staying in with you? Will you get clingy? And 2) My family is very close and we often all get together. Are you so unsociable that you would not want to go to my family functions, or is it just that you don't like partying/clubs? As my partner I would want you to spend time with my family since they are important to me.
But anyway, that's just me specifically. I'm sure there are other "lone female wolves" out there who would be compatible with you.
What Guys Said 1
"Lone wolf" is what isolated introverts call themselves in order to feel better about being alone. Human beings are social creatures. You can't have it both ways. You can't expect to attract a mate, AND cling on your isolation.