Do girls really want nice guys?

You say you do, but you certainly don't practice what you preach, at least most of you.


What's Your Opinion?


What Girls Said 95

What Guys Said 33

  • Selected as most helpful

    One thing so-called badboys do that so-called nice guys don't is MAKE MOVES AND TAKE RISKS! I've spent entire evenings wondering if I'm EVER gonna get kissed by the nice guy and entire evenings wondering how the badboy managed to get his tongue in my mouth so quickly when I didn't want him to at all ever!

    I'm not saying nice guys should stick their tongue down women's throats more often, but if you like her and you feel like she's giving you signs she likes you back, stop hinting around and giving her little signs you like her - she probably gets that and wonders if you are ever gonna do anything about it, and eventually that gets old and irritating with even the most patient woman so MAKE YOUR MOVE!

    Another thing the socalled badboys do that the nice guys don't: If they are reasonably sure they are gonna get rejected they either do something really bold or they move on to someone who will not reject them, but they assess this fairly quickly while the nice guys are still trying to read mixed messages and worrying about rejection.

    Here's another thing the so-called badboys do that the nice guys don't - and admittedly, it's based on a lot of arrogance that I don't WANT nice guys to have: When they get rejected, they don't dwell on it or take it personally, they think the woman is a fool for rejecting god's gift to her! DORKS! Haha! But there is something to be learned if you can manage to not dwell on it and not take it personally and just move on to someone else who will be more receptive to you.

    So to sum it up, be a nice guy, be a knight in shining armor, sweep us off our feet and capture our heart with kindness, humor and spirit - we want that and we fall head over heels for it like you would not believe. Make that move - we want you to! But without being a douchebag badboy... And without acting like an idiot after we've had sex.

    I think a lot of what decides if you are a nice guy or a douchebag is how you act after you've been intimate. This is when women decide if you are just using them, if you are gonna be clingy/needy/high maintenance, if you are gonna judge them or if you are gonna put them at ease and show them it's all still good, you'd like to be with them again and the decision is theirs too, but you won't create drama if they decide its not gonna work. Some nice guys really get nervous about the communication at this point - and rightly so - and so clam up, but this is when it's important to really communicate.

    We all know what the douchebags do at this point, so this is when you stop taking cues from what's working for them, because they only know how to get girls, not keep them , so they create the badboy personna to cover up that shortcoming.

    • Sometimes it seems like the nice guys assume no means no but the bad boy knows that's not the case. The nice guy doesn't wanna feel like a rapist. Honestly also I like to talk with women about serious stuff or even silly stuff as fellow human beings, if everything I am doing is about trying to hit on her trying to get laid I don't feel like I am even treating her as an equal

    • Agreed! But again, making a move, doing something bold, does not necessarily mean doing something sexual, especially before you are both ready. Making a move can be something you say or do that shows the girl you will take emotional risks for her because afraid or not, you want to be with HER.

    • And also on the deal about a nice guy making the moves when we get the signs. Nice guys tend to want long term relationships and don't want to ruin the night because we went to far and did something tht were nt completely sure should have happened yet.

    • Show Older
  • I can't ever seem to find them. My first boyfriend cheated on me, my last boyfriend thought he was better than me, and now I thought I found a guy who really wanted to get to know me and he hasn't talked to me since we made out one night at a party. I'm so close to giving up.

    • Yes, I really do want a nice guy! Somebody who will take things slow and be honest with me and not push me away when we start to get close like my last boyfriend did. I'm sick of getting hurt all the time!

  • I can't speak for all women, but I can tell you what I want:




    *Want to cuddle

    *Want to party

    *Be tough enough that you don't actually have to follow through on kicking some guys 6 when he grabs mine

    *Bring me flowers

    *Tell me you're thinking about me

    *Love your momma

    *Be able to fix my car

    *Be strong enough to throw me over your shoulder

    *Be confident

    *Be classy

    *Have the ability to get drunk without being an idiot

    *Talk to me like I'm human and have a brain

    *Be confident

    *Be honest

    *Adore me and tell me I'm beautiful

    *Be happy

    *Have the guts to ask out the pretty girl, chances are no one else does!

    Being a bad boy is a state of confidence, that's what attracts women more than anything. My man seems like the total "bad boy" type. Pro athlete, bouncer, big tough guy...he's the nicest man I know

  • I have a nice guy, and I absolutely love it! I can't stand rude and inconsiderate guys. A lot of girls I know like the bad boys. But I like the nice ones, there always gentleman and a trustworthy!

  • i don't know why,

    but I'm attracted to jerks.

    i hate that I'm attracted to them,

    but I just can't help it.

    nice guys aren't interesting, their predictable.

    bad guys, always.. blow my mind.

    their so exciting and unpredictable.

    & there's something about nice guys,

    it always feels like they have something to hide :/

  • I'm 52 and no I don't want a nice guy...tends to be boring. OK weight it bad boy or boring? We Just have to find the guy who faults are worth the trouble because he is fun exciting playful and intelligent. Honesty and trust can come from bad boys too. I want a little adventure in my guy. The bad boys are more confident and to my experience there is a reason for that. Possibly their experience. Just keep in mind the bad you are getting with that bad boy. Can you handle it.

  • I do an I don't.

    I love nice boys. The awkward cute shy adorable boys are what gets my heart beating. I want to date one so bad.

    At the same time, nice boys aren't the type that really come up and ask me out so while I get bored of waiting (or of being turned down by seemingly nice boys) I will go out and flirt with and be slutty with the asshole boys.

    Jerks have the instant gratification of a hard core make out whereas nice boys are the types I have to be patient, and though being patient is worth it when he is within my reach, if one isn't approaching me then I am not going to wait around forever. So therefore I put off nice guys with my seemingly being into assholes.

    Point is. Yes I love nice boys but for some reason they do not like me.

  • YES I DO! and by nice I mean loyal honest someone who's moral compass always points to north!

  • We like a guy who is loyal, honest, strong mentally and physically, a gentleman (knows how to treat a lady), also has some similarities with us like in music maybe and who is also confident.

    It doesn’t hurt if he can make us laugh :)

    And we hate a guy who is the opposite of these things !

  • I am a girl who likes nice guys but have dated a couple bad ones. For me when I first went out with the "bad boys" they had their best foot forward. They were so nice. Then when the honeymoon fase wore off they became not that nice. By the time they became mean my feelings were already so involved it was very hard for me to get out.

  • The world is full of

    shallow girls who choose "bad" "rough" etc guys

    shallow guys who choose "fickle" "princessey" "selfish" girls.

    I believe this behavior has the same root in both sexes, there are complex psychological reasons as to why but basically it is a sign of a lack of emotional development of both sides. This question is worded like this is a female phemomenon and its not.

    i prefer a guy with a set of morals who will stick by them even if that means he won't be as "popular". I don't like a doormat and many people confuse "nice guy" with "doormat".

    bad boy = emotionally stunted/damaged = boredom buster, miserable relationship

    good guy = emotionally strong/healthy = long term boyfriend material, happy relationship

    doormat guy = emotionally stunted/damaged = boring, posible long term but not happy

  • Well, we really don't like bad boys or rebels or anything too pushy or intense. We prefer someone with a light, happy, natural presence. So, I'd have to say, yes. Nice guys are better.

  • The thing about nice guys (in my experience) is that they often don't ask the girl out. The jerks are usually overconfident so they have the guts to ask us. As girls, some of us do expect the guys to stand up and be the one to ask.

    • So much for women standing up for themselves, who made up thestupid rule "women are never allowed to ask men out" anyway? or are women just lazy?

  • I think most girls like the thought of a bad boy. It's the same for guys, you don't want a sweet innocent shy girl do you?

    • Brunohusker and BlueAries it's reassuring to know that

      and to add on to my response I think its the feeling that the girl tamed the bad boy or got him to settle down

    • Hmm, matter of fact, I usually do :) Sweet, innocent, shy girls usually have a lot of character that is boiling under the surface that they are reserving and building for a special someone, I love that.

    • I'd love a girl like that. Maybe I'm different though

    • Show Older
  • Mature girls who are ready for a serious relationship will look for the good guys. When they have gone through their BAD BOY phase, they will come looking for you, but it may not be until they are in their mid to late twenties... I found what I thought was a nice guy and he BROKE my heart... now I have gone back to the bad boy phase because I am NOT ready for a real relationship...

    Be the nice guy - the world needs more nice guys.

    • I am the nice girl and I want to get laid as well :P I love to please my man.... but the asshole guy usually starts as the "horny guy" and than the horny guy gets frustrated and starts cheating if we don't put out right away. When we see the horny guy in you, than sometimes we expect the bad/mean side to come out soon after... that could be why...

    • What if I am the nice guy but I still wanna get laid. I mean I want real love and long conversations and sweet kisses too but why can't you be horny like everyone else but not act like an asshole. Girls think the whole bad boy thing is exciting I see otherwise really intelligent women fall for it all the time but honestly its not exciting, its an act its fake and very predictable as a guy seeing another guy act like this just makes us roll our eyes

    • But girls are the same way - we get hurt and used and emotionally wrecked and we can't be nice anymore either. It is a cycle and its hard to break. either you find a nice guy and you are not ready for a realtionship or you find the jerk guy and you ARE ready for a relationship.

    • Show Older
  • we are very confusing ill give you that and it usually takes us a long time to figure out exactlly what we want but when it comes down to what we really want yes we want good guys we just have to be hurt enough by the bad ones to leave them alone if we can find a man that is both then your the token!

  • girls are usually attracted to the bad boys, but if they are nice its such a plus. I don't know, I think they get over it as they get older, and start to realize the nice guys are the good guys!

  • i certainly would want a nice guy that knows how to treat me with respect npt a jerk that is stuck up and stuuborn I tend to like nice guys

  • Well the nice guys need to stop taking so long to make a move.

    AND they need to stop falling for the wrong girls!

    • So what is a wrong girl

  • Yes..its so hard to find a nice guy..we want a guy that treats us nice that loves us and that won't run off after another female in a second.. But we do not want a little p**** either Sorta a combination.. If your mean to us well think your pushing us away if your nice well feel loved and comfortable around you.. but if you just be your self around us girls then I'm sure you will find someone good for you.. ^.^

    • I find that a lot of girls will feel comfortable around me as a friend and really like me but likes refuse to see me as an object of desire after that. Its like to women being friendly is the equivalent of a girl being really fat or something.

  • Show More
  • women want the guy but theyre afraid to accept him because theyre so used to the bad guy that that's all they think theyre ever worth for. they also think the good guy is fake because of how they think all men are the same. I'm a good guy I just simply have confidence so I'm able to approach a girl. while I've struck out on occasion. I have found a girl that really liked me for me and I'm glad for that. so don't ever think you need to "change" your attitude, you just haven't fond the right one yet

  • From the nice guy side:

    The ones who like jerks tend to either have big issues with their past (mean jerky fathers / uncles... that kind of junk) that will end up taking a lot to work through.

    That or they are jerks themselves.

    Either way, its worth your time to wait for someone else nice... they will come along, and they will be awesome.

  • From what I have observed,

    Many of the pretty ones don't have the fortitude it takes to quit f***ing up and dating the bad boys.

    The ones that are pretty and do date the good guys are bitches who look for a guy that will just take their sh*t all the time. That was my mom and my pussy-ass dad.

    So for guys it's a damned if you are an asshole and prepare to get anal raped if you're not.

    Welcome to the suck. Embrace it.

  • I think its thes the bad boys that they start off with but the good guys they settle down with


  • girls HATE guys who dnt have any confidence... and that's girls of ANY age, walk of life, whatever... if they dnt like you, why worry abt them? Why cry abt it? You gotta make yourself happy...

  • Women want nice guys that they're attracted to, not the nice guys that are wussy, passive, and put the women on a pedestal.

  • Every time I read "I want a nice guy" by a woman I just picture what she is thinking.

    I want a nice guy:

    to wash my car

    to walk my dog

    to pick up after my dog

    to get groceries

    to yell at for getting the wrong groceries

    to knock me up

    to get me cravings because I will guilt trip for getting me knocked up

    to buy me cute and impractical gifts

    to get me a huge diamond ring even though the diamond miners are exploited

    to let me have a huge wedding

    to carry me up the stairs and all that other romantic stuff

    to have a bubble bath ready when I get home

    to listen to me vent about how I hate work so you can tell me to quit

    to explain the life story of all my friends

    to make you feel guilty for no apparent reason but the pleasure of watching you squirm

    to get to use all those double standards against

    to say "I'm right. I win!" to with a big smile on my face

    to say "I told you so" when we get lost

    to squish bugs for me

    to purchase my female products for me late at night

    to be the first one that gets it if a burglar comes in

    to take the wrap if we get in trouble with the law

    to tell him that I can kill him and get away with it because of hormones from my period

    to pay for my speeding tickets and numerous "fender benders" which usually involve any other body panel except the bumpers

    to be the 'bad' or 'mean' parent to our kids

    to give me his coat during a snow storm because I didn't want to mess up my new blouse at the time

    to complain about because he isn't a bad boy

  • Girls never know what they want. They make up little check lists of standards that a guy is suppose to meet, yet never stick to it or once they get it, they figure out that it was not enough. You have to make them know they love you or they will just make you know you love them...simple as that, but remember they might not stick with you just because you like them.

  • I may be a nice, introverted guy, but I have to say that I act like a d*** at times. I keep everything in moderation. I'm not the type of guy who pretends to be nice and then screw everyone over just cause he can.

    I'd rather be somewhat courteous and polite as opposed to being nice 100% of the time and act as if I'm annoying her to death with kindness. I mean, you wouldn't go to your friends and act like a doormat to them, are you? Or I mean, you'd probably feel the same way if a girl tried to annoy you with kindness. Hey, I'd treat girls as if they were my friends. In other words, I'm a 'nice guy'/gentleman towards everyone, not just towards girls, but guys as well. And I mean doormats really need to grow backbones and become MEN by just standing up for themselves rather than appeasing women 100% of the time. It's pathetic. No one wants a player, no one wants a doormat.

  • Girls like nice guys. What we, as guys, think of a "nice guy" is different than what girls think. Because the nice guy we think is a nice guy is in fact not at all a nice guy. It is a nice puppy, one that humps the leg of one girl, becomes her servant in hopes of her throwing him a bone.

    A nice guys in a girl's mind is one that shows masculinity, power and backbone but without abusing those traits. James Bond is a nice guy. You know, a gentleman.

    So yeah, girls love nice guys, but they don't love (as in they're not attracted to) pathetic puppies.

  • ONLY when they're settling down.

  • From my own experience, and for the most party, girls do want a nice guy. But it's the bad guys who give them the most attention and are more driven than the nice guys. This is why girls are more likely to choose them. If your not quick on your feet, someone else will get there before you.

  • Bro, I think rainydaydreamer nailed it. Nice is a generic term that generally means no balls. Anytime I was nice in that way to a girl, I was put in the friend zone. Then later when I told them I had feelings, they literally told me at one time there was an attration but now they saw me as a trusted "brother-like" person. Be a man. Take the lead, if she is giving you the signals, don't ask just do until she says no. I have never "asked" any of the girls I hooked up with for permission. I read the body language and just went for it. You would be suprised the level of girl you can get if you have confidence and just give off the I don't give a f*** attitude.

    However, this does not mean be an asshole. Be confident and the leader, but treat her with respect and as a partner.

    • @Prof Don

      You nailed it brother with this line "When it comes to being sexual w. girls, it's better to be too aggressive than to not be aggressive enough."

      So true. The worst that will happen is you get told stop or no, then you are in the same place you would be without trying. If you get lucky then you get some, which WONT happen if you DONT try!!! Good answer man

    • "if she is giving you the signals, don't ask just do until she says no."

      This is some real talk. I've talked to female friends, exes, etc, and it's true: the girl, when it comes to being sexual, wants the guy to read her body language and go for it WITHOUT ASKING.

      You'll be surprised how many girls get turned off by a guy "asking for permission" to make moves. When it comes to being sexual w. girls, it's better to be too aggressive than to not be aggressive enough. I'm a testament. 8-)

  • because women don't do what they think is right, they do what they feel is right...

    and "nice guys" don't create that sense of attraction for women that the "bad boys" do...

  • There are a few, but there are more nice guys then there are girls who want nice guys, unfortunately.

  • Girls usually like guys by personality which all guys are different.

    And is opposite for guys. Mostly looking for looks

  • my girl wants me to be a d*** to her sometimes.

    ...i'm a little lost on the situation but it's kewl

  • Protip: Women never know what they want.

  • no they don't want a nice guy at all bro

    they say too much but they don't mean it

    i seen it

    i experience it

    this how it goes

    a nice guy

    its all way there for them

    next to them

    when they are crying sad whatever

    they are always there

    nice guy ask them out

    they said


    a- I don't want to ruin our friendship


    b-your cute lol stop joking

    they want a bad guy its proven over and over again


    a- they get cheated on

    b-they are made felt like they rnt good enough

    c- the whole I'm going to change him bs

    now girls always say guys are douche


    cuz they most of the time the date the bad guys

    the douches

    i know every girl will disagree but history proves them wrong

    and when they are in their 30's or 40's

    they want the nice guys

    cuz if they truly did want the nice guys

    they would go for the one that is next ot them all the time but they don't


  • It's not about being the nice guy or the bad boy, it's about being the real man.


    • Lol Thank you. I'll try to define it better.... A real man has an internally centered frame of mind. Meaning he acquires his inner believes, confidence, and strength within himself. He can be cocky; but he'll make fun of himself when he's doing it. He will change a girl's mood (by being fun), not her mind (by pleading to have sex; not going to work). He does not hold girl's on a pedestal. They are human and want to be treated that way. Honest, assertive, and caring finish up this definition.

    • EXACTLY!!!!

      Finally, there's a man out there that gets it! Now, the problem is, your definition of that and mine are probably vastly different, and everyone else who reads this is going to have a different definition as well.

      However, it is very easy to tell who is following their own inner voice of how to be a real man, a stand-up guy, and who doesn't have a clue or doesn't care and gets away with whatever they can.

      Women: be a real woman and you will be more likely to find a real man.

  • Show More