It's almost been 2 years and I'm not the way I used to be. I was sweet and loving and now I don't try anymore. I love her to death but I just can't make her happy. She doesn't want to hear my voice or see anything of me until I prove my love to her. I left her to hang with my friends. How do I...
It's almost been 2 years and I'm not the way I used to be. I was sweet and loving and now I don't try anymore. I love her to death but I just can't make her happy. She doesn't want to hear my voice or see anything of me until I prove my love to her. I left her to hang with my friends. How do I prove my love? How do I make her happy again?
Well, return to being sweet and loving is a good start. Try again. Don't just leave her to hang with your friends too often (but you know, you should still be able to do that AND prove your love; they aren't mutually exclusive). If you "love her to death" why are you not trying? Reread your question and you can probably figure it out.
Ask yourself, If you're not making her happy and she doesn't want to hear your voice, identify what it is that you can change that she would prefer. You'll probably have to ask her if you don't already know. Then go do that, if you can. Then after doing what it is that she's missing, that you're capable of doing, check in again. "How do you feel now that I am. (whatever your doing)" Calling her on the phone more, going down on her in bed more, refraining from insulting her, whatever it was that was bugging her is now not bugging her, so that's called an improvement. Repeat this process until you run out of things that you are capable and willing to improve.
And if she wants something from you that you can't or don't want to do, well now you know. She's unhappy and she wants something from you that you cannot provide. Looks like you've got yourself a real issue to solve. Better talk to her about it; either she needs to change her wants because you can't comply. Or you need to change your capabilities in order to give her something more. Either way works. But ignoring a fundamental relationship issue DOESN'T work.
"You just can't make her happy?" You say this like you've been trying when you yourself admit you have been ignoring her. If you love her--it wouldn't be this hard--ask yourself if you love her or are just comfortable after two years. If you DO love her, Think of her like a woman you just met--how it felt to get the butterflies on a first date--treat one another not like old hats but as an exciting new couple! Do what you woudl do if you were trying to impress a woman you just met...
Why did you stop being sweet and loving? This must be ongoing. You cannot be in a relationship and not show the other person how you feel. That will cause them to doubt your feelings. They start to think you don't want to be there. Show her how important she is to you. Dont' stop doing it.
It isn't just a simple as that. You have to start slowly and just keep on showing her. You don't have to do anything big. The little things are what counts. Whisper you love her in her ear when she isn't looking. Take her out to dinner for a surprise every once in a while. Just show her that you love her like you say you do and you should be fine.
2 years is a long time to be with someone. You more than likely feel like an old married couple. I could tell you to be romantic and sweet, but sometimes that doesn't work. Tell her you love her and you can't live without her. Hell, if you do feel that way take it to the next step(if your ready). Ask her to marry you. It might be the best thing you have ever done.
Ahh proving your love when it comes to females their needs to be a glorious event that you do to show your love...and you no what if you love her and care about her then you should do it take her to a hill at night and just stare into her eyes. Most likely she'll ask what you're doing and just keep glazing.