Have you ever? and for what reasons? do some people deny being in love because they've been hurt in the past?

have you ever? and for what reasons? do some people deny being in love because they've been hurt in the past?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I did. it was to make sure we could be friends... I figured if I pretend to myself and him that I don't feel that way, then it would give me time to figure things out without making him or myself think ahead. I mean you can be in love with some one without wanting to be in a relationship. so that was me, I was in love but said nothing, because I did not want him to take it the wrong way... Well he took it that I did not care for him and became increasingly distant ... I look at things differently now. If I feel that strongly about someone, I want to let them know. I'm not big on saying 'i love you' but I might have to say that I want them in my life, or I etc care. I would prefer it just be said with a look or a touch or a stone or song or something. In order for that to received clearly the person needs to be receptive, some people are just not good at intuition. ... I think it would feel really wonderful to really know that you felt that way and say oit. Say it without any expectations would be great. If I had the chance to tell someone I would... I used to not tell the people I specifically cared for that I did not. I did not want to represent myself 'that way'. Love is not a representation it is a feeling. So is feeling like an idiot.. I think it is better to risk feeling dumb then not to feel.

    I was so busy proving that I did not want a relationship that I forgot that I cared. When he told me how he felt, I just stood there looking at him. Like why is he telling me this. I am usually honest with myself, but I think a lot of people do it. sometimes without realizing it... Actually how I 'feel' about someone is the only thing I cannot rely on myself to be completely honest about.

    I am uncomfortable with having feelings for other before I worry about there reaction I am worried about mine I am sure many people feel that way, and it is by no means perpetual.


What Girls Said 9

  • yeah I guess I'm guilty of this. I have been in love but it ended again, horribly. endings always suck don't they? sometimes you're friends with the ex and sometimes it's broken goods and nothing can really be done about itand you don't want to see the other person's face again. well. I hope you the best. I am not in love with anyone at the moment, just wishing and hoping I find that special one

  • I was with the first guy I had ever loved..

    Everything was great.. Until I found him with some chick in his bed, in which I slept in..

    He went out and met her at some club, had her at his house all weekend and even took her out (he NEVER did that for me) He acted like nothing was wrong and tried to blame this shiz on me.. I didn't do a damn thing to deserve it..! I had been nothing but faithful and loving.. And that's what happened.. To me? Hell nahh..

    So when I found my new partner it was hard to trust him.. I was also single for a year in between, koz I was in the state of mind in which I had to "play the guy, before he played me.." Which I guess was kinda destructive behaviour that was working for me..

    I told him all about it at the start of our relationship and he understood which also proved he cared for me.. So things couldn't be better =D

  • I have it's really sucks <3 you bye.

  • Because they don't want to get hurt again! Our subconscience protects us from everything that can and will hurt us.

  • i would but only if I know he doesn't love me back... But that never happend to me. Thank god lol

  • Love can help you and it can hurt you. When we deny being in love I think we use it as a defense mechanism. When we open ourselves to someone and it doesn't turn out the way you expected it to, or if they have hurt you, it is like you try to convince yourself that it was not love because they would not have done what they did if they were in love. Which makes it harder for the next relationship that you go into, because you have been hurt in the past so you do not want to go through the pain again.

  • i have not but try to talk to that person and spill everything out and let them know what is going on in your head if its your girlfriend I know she will understand and if its someone your talking mske sure you are for sure she cares for you

  • well honestly I've fallen in love with a guy once, we dated for a while but I never told him howi felt untill I knew that its over although we didn't even talk about it , it just happened.

    when I told him that I was in love with him, madly and I care about him, he did nothing but disappear.

    Since then I've decided not to tell ANYONE how I feel no matter what the situation is...

    because some people get scared whenever they find out that someone loves them, even if they do feel the same way towards them, they just get scared and confused for a while, untill the other person loses hope and move on.

    Now I have feelings for a guy who happens to be a close friend who treats me as my boyfriend ,although we never talked about it, since I realized that am in insanely in love with him majorly and he won't ever tell me how he feels about me...then I should just simply distant myself in order to move on...cause I just can't handle getting hurt again or lose him either...

    i will keep it to myself... untill he either figures it out on his own or let go!


What Guys Said 4

  • honestly I've been in love once, my first love was a good 20months, there was a breakup she rebounded she said she still loved me so I was like wtf, how can you go into a relationship while loving someone else that's unhealthy, and it was she regreted doing it because it hurt me soooo bad I didn't want to love her or trust her or be in a relationship don't get me wrong I love her to death and I still do, but what she did was unforgivable because she cheated love and took mine for granted she wanted to come back but I had to say no because how could she throw it away just like that...in a lot of cases its good to hide your love because if I showed it and told her she would just take it for granted again...

  • My roommate used to do this. Tried to pretend he just wanted to bang this girl just because he didn't want to admit how much he liked her. Or because he was afraid of getting hurt by the same kind of bitch that his ex was. Either way, they ended up dating and it's going well so far.

  • Yep I did it on purpose, then I fell out of love and now no worries again =D

    • You weren't in love then. lol

    • I know it may seem stupid but my parents when eve they want something they make me feel forced they wanted me to be married to this goody two shoes A+ perfect girl I tried thinking about her for a while and eventually I loved but it was only until reality hit me hard that I realized she was treating me like dirt the whole time D=< then I had to get my mind off her not as easy said as done and because I loved her I learned things I wish I didn't any way believe me or not I experienced it.

  • I've done it. Didn't want to fall in 'love' or even get close to it to prevent anything else bad from happening.