What is he thinking? Men you confuse me!! Its a long story, but I need honest advice!!!

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 5 months. The relationship has progressed quickly. I spend tons of time with him, at his place, and with his friends. We would talk on the phone so much he added me to his plan. He also told me that he would like to marry me one day and that I am the first girl he has ever loved like this. His parents even ask about me all the time and he was so nervous for me to meet them because he said I was the first girl he actually carried about what they think.

I am 21 and he is 24 and I have one more year of college left. Even early on in the relationship he talked about a future with me even in front of his friends and family. Saying things like our house when referring to his apartment, or when we have kids, or you'll make a great mom, or you can decorate our place however you want, etc. His dad even said when you two have kids, the first time I met him! His best friend said he is crazy over me and that he was always a confirmed bachelor.

Here is where it is getting confusing, he broke up with me recently because I was real drunken and when my roommate kissed me I didn't stop him so we ended up kissing. I hate myself for that and I admitted it to him immediately. It was only kissing and I had no rational. I know I did wrong and deserved for him to break up with me then later that night he said he forgave me and said he did dumb stuff being drunk and younger, Then we were fine the next day we were with his friends who are getting married and he is talking about us having kids someday. I assumed we put this behind us, A week later he tells me he is breaking up with me and that he isn't in love with me and he needs to know if I can be the girl he can live with or the girl he can't live without. Almost 3 weeks pass and he calls me and admits that he is still in love with me and wants me back but do take it slow and he is not ready for marriage. I never brought up marriage except for my previous engagement. So we are back on and taking it slow. What should I make of his actions? Does he want to get married? He indicated that he was thinking about it and then scared himself because he has never had a serious girlfriend before. Or is this because all his friends are getting married? Did he forgive me and when he said he is madly in love with me, and he can't live without me, is that true? What should I do?

Most Helpful Guy

  • First of all, don't you think it's way to soon for anyone to be talking marriage and kids after only 5 months? Wow! I'd be scared out of my mind if some girl I dated for only 5 months started talking marriage and kids. Can you really get to know someone within 5 months. I guess it's possible. I think maybe it's all about the sex right now and you went off and probably passionately kissed another guy, although drunk. You still did! I think you rocked the boat and now he probably still has motion sickness thinking about being on that "rocking" boat. I think he's right about his feelings and although he said he forgave you, I think it's pretty hard to get something like that out of your mind. So, at least he is willing to give you a chance to gain back his trust. You have a lot of work to do. Trust is a hard thing to earn, and an easy thing to lose. You lost it and now it's time to work! Do you really want to work. Sorry, to be frank, but you screwed up. I would've kicked you to the curb and moved on to someone I didn't have to worry about.

    • I wasn't talking marriage and kids he was. That's what is surprising to me. I feel extreme guilt and remorse for what happened with my roommate. But I can tell you that it was nothing meaningful or passionate.

    • Sorry. Yes. He was talking marriage and kids, but the heart of the problem is the kiss. Whether it was passionate or not, your boyfriend will never know how passionate it was or wasn't. All he has is your word! Which at this point, is in question.