I love him, but I'm not happy with him. Really really need answers plz!!!!

I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 1/2 years.

I was just wondering if any of you guys have ever been in a relationship where you felt like you were the parent, and they were the child. I am 20, and he is 26. I feel like I am always giving in when he wants something so that he will stop starting fights about it. I have sacrificed so much of my happiness just to make him happy. I almost feel like it's a one sided relationship. I feel like I am always giving and giving, but I am not getting anything out of it. I realize that in relationships, you need to make sacrifices sometimes, but he hasn't really made any, it always seems to be me.

I have deleted my Facebook, where was pretty much the only way I communicated with people from my past (friends, etc), I am not allowed to go to the gym alone, he turns off my internet when he's angry or when he's feeling insecure, he has made me lose all my friends by saying things to them or threatening/insulting them, he has to have all my passwords to everything, and he has a logger on my computer to see everything that I am doing. Sometimes he acts too insecure, and I have told him time and time again that he has absolutely nothing to be insecure about. He is always afraid of losing me to another guy, and I don't get it.

I feel like I am not getting anything out of this relationship. I do love him, but I am not happy. So I guess I am not sure what to do. What are you supposed to do when you do love someone, but at the same time you are not happy with them?


Most Helpful Girl

  • You have pretty much answered your own question and you already know what you should do. The only thing you are waiting on is the right time to end it. I am here to tell you that there will never be the "right" time, it will never get easier to break things off. If you are fearful that he could become abusive, do the breakup in a public place or through a text (not ideal, but sometimes when dealing with a manipulative person, its better to break things off where they can't coax you into staying). The first few weeks without him will be incredibly hard as he tries to guilt you into coming back through threats, texts, pleas, whatever. But, the storm will settle (I promise) and you will look back in a few months and be proud of yourself for making the change. You will not be young forever. Do not waste your time on someone who doesn't fulfill you. You love him and I'm not taking that away from you, but just because you love someone, does not mean that the relationship is healthy. Muster the strength to walk away. You will thank yourself.


What Guys Said 1

  • He's abusive if you are cutting ties for him. You need to leave NOW.


What Girls Said 3

  • Leave him, no relationship will ever work out if one person is truly unhappy.

  • I've been more or less in the same situation as you (except he was way less abusive): we always had to do what he liked (even though I didn't enjoy it, but then did make the effort) and never ever what I liked if he didn't personnally enjoy it (or else he would whine and do tantrums even if he was 3 years older than i), and also cut me off from my friends. We broke up after 4 years and I had to re-learn how to be on my own/independent and find/rediscover interests I enjoyed as I was always doing what he wanted. It was hard to move on as I did love him intensively: but our relationship was unhealthy regarding personal development and fulfillment (for him as well, and now he does realize this). I've learnt from this experience and now know what I want and don't want for my next relationship and have even met someone I am way more compatible with and who does go his way to please me.

    Get out of this abusive relationship while you still can: he is way too controlling for your own happiness. More and more tension will accumulate and it will eventually explode somehow. Plus you are still young and I am sure you will meet someone who is ready to make you happy and treat you like a princesse.