How can I make him fall in love with me again?

i dated my ex for two was going great. We loved each other very much. He would call me 20 times a day to say hi, he introduced me to his mom and told her (a year into our relationship) he was getting serious about me. He is from another culture so being introduced to his mom was something special.

Let me just say that I've been told by my therapist that I'm a perfectionist and that it gets in the way of my social life. That being said I can safely say I truly believe the reason for the break up. Throughout our relationship I tried changing him and nagged at him to make things better. I realize that now I truly loved him for who he was. I have been on a few dates and know I liked him for who he was. I'm not sure if he was the one, but I would love to give it a second shot.

ANYWAY..Two months before my birthday we started fighting more and more because of my constant nagging. At the time I didn't realize what I was doing. I kept telling him I was done over and over and over again. I was frustrated because he wasn't acting like he used to. He was pushing me away and I could see it. But who wouldn't push someone away who kept trying to change them and "perfect" them. Finally, we fought one day and it blew up to the point where he wanted a break. He told me he didn't want a relationship right now and that he didn't know if he loved me. Then the next day he called to wish me a happy birthday and said I don't want you to think anything of this. How can I not? He would call me throughout the week at work but when he know I wasn't there and talk to my friend and ask her how I was and when I was working. I thought that was weird. So I kept trying to call him and finally I got through to him. He came and talked to me and that is when he told me he doesn't know if he loves me and doesn't want a relationship right now. WHAT?! I didn't get it. I wouldn't leave him alone. I did all the wrong things: texting, calling, driving by his house and job, stopping there when he was working to talk to him. This pushed him even farther away to the point he won't even talk to me anymore. I know he cares about me and at the moment he doesn't love me to the point he would date me.

But do you think that if I left him alone that sometime in the future he would call me? I don't expect it anytime soon but I am just curious on opinions.

I know that I have now dated a few guys and know that I love him for who he is. I want to show him I can do that and get that look he used to give me. I feel like he got fed up with the fighting which is understandable. But we had a bad break up so I want to wait a few months and try calling him again if he doesn't call me. But is there a chance? can I make him fall in love with me again? I don't want to force anything but I want it back. I know things won't be the same..but I want him back in my life again. PLEASE HELP


Most Helpful Guy

  • It sounds like things got too out of hand. What I think you need to do, is wait more. You've already gone through the stages in which you've dated, and now understand that this is the right person for you. Now what you need to do is not seem so desperate as you've said. It's time for him to think things through, and give you a call.

    If anything I'd email him or something. Something less intrusive. Because people need time to heal from things, we can't always be on the same terms within the healing process. It sounds to me that he's still in that process, and who knows how long that process is going to take. But in the mean time wait it out, and if he truly cares about you, then he'll call. But the one thing I can't tell you, is how long to wait, that's really up to you to decide.

    Now to answer your other question... Is there still a chance? It really depends on how he feels, and how grounded he is within his love for you. In some way I think things can work out, because everything in life has it's downs, but also has it's ups, in which we can overcome things. But of course that again depends on people as a whole, depending on how much streath people have to work things out again, and again. Love is very strong, and depending upon the person, and how much affect that love has on the person, depends upon the actions that will be taken.

    Things will work out in the end, I promise... I hope I've answered your question, and I hope things work out... Much Love

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      So I need help, :( you seem to be the most helpful out of all the times I've asked this question. I want to write him a letter and email it to him. but I'm not sure.....