Do you think you can choose who you fall in love with?

Can you choose who you fall in love with?

  • YES
    23% (3)80% (4)39% (7)Vote
  • NO
    77% (10)20% (1)61% (11)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy


Most Helpful Girl

  • No. I have a very close guy friend that would make the prefect boyfriend for any girl but I'm just not attracted to him and I just don't view him as anything more than a friend. I can't help what I feel.

    • Why does there seem to be a sect or category of guys like this? There seems to be the "good looking/great guy that's never had a GF" classification of guy... I think I fit into this category, not trying to sound conceited or whatever... But if girls all say "oh you're such a great guy" but then no-one is willing to take a chance on you, it gets so frustrating and confusing.

      So... What do us guys have to do to get a girl? Believe me, it sucks to have to wait for girls to "come around" if ever...

    • Honestly? I have no idea what guys like you have to do. It's just an attraction thing, that's the only answer I can come up with. With my ex, I knew I wanted him the moment I saw him. And it wasn't just a physical attraction with him, there was just something about him. Something that was missing in the other guys.

What Guys Said 6

  • One can grasp himself by the neck and ask "Hey, stupido, what are you doing now?"

  • I think you can consciously decide not to go through with things (as jacquesvol seems to be saying), but you can't decide who you actually fall in love with in the first place.

  • It depends on how you define 'fall in love.' Infatuation generally isn't a choice, because it is catalyzed by hormones and chemical signals, but loving someone is a choice. Of course, infatuation is good for nothing except propagating the human race...and most people don't care to do that anymore anyway. You can chose not to follow infatuations...or flagrantly kill them, like I do (the infatuation, not the person).

    Real love is an verb, not a noun. In every way, shape, and form, love is a choice and requires energy and effort. Infatuation is no guaruntee of relationship success, and is certainly no contributor to it.

    -Count D.

    • Agree 100% but it seems other don't and that's why every body is getting divorced.

  • I was born with that unique ability, yes.

  • If you want something, go for it. I don't believe in "soul mates", but I do believe in hard work. I also do believe that sometimes you can be crazy about a person without knowing much about them. Is that love? Maybe, but everything still requires a lot of work and a desire to want to be with someone.

  • Fuck no. -_-


What Girls Said 7

  • No, I don't think you can, really. My boyfriend and I, for example, are the complete opposites of what we thought we actually wanted in a person we could fall in love with. I always envisioned myself with someone who was smooth, articulate, the epitome of what a standard prince would be like, outgoing, and charming, with a clean cut appearance. While my boyfriend is outgoing and is generally sweet and smart, he's sometimes really bad with words and has a hard time being gentle or thinking before he speaks, and he has a more rugged appearance and has lots of tattoos, which I normally would be a bit turned off by. He originally wanted someone who was goth, a bit on the edgy and talkative side, and had big breasts, and yet he landed up with me, who's a bit more on the preppy side (though not quite...) and wears light, feminine colors with floral prints and ribbons and lace, quiet, polite, and generally sweet and caring, and doesn't have big breasts. Somehow, we just fell in love with one another, and I don't believe that if we each did manage to find someone who fit the bill of what we thought we wanted before, that we would go off in pursuit of that person instead.

  • No, you don't choose who you fall in love with. However, love in general is a choice. Whether there's a person you like, or someone you hate, being loving towards them doesn't always come naturally. You have to make an effort.

  • nope. love just happens

  • i think falling in love is something that just happens BUT you can put yourself in situations where you're always around a person so you start developing feelings of attachment, affection, etc. and you may end up falling in love with them.

  • You cannot choose. I am in love with my best friend, but I wish I only loved him as a friend. I can't help that whenever I am not with him I am counting down the seconds to when I see him, and that my heart flies when I see him.

  • can you choose who you fall in love with ? no

    can you choose who you stay with? yes

    you can't help who your attracted to but when you stay with someone your choosing to compermise with each other.

    when you fall for someone there's a special spark between you some times even if you try not to like someone its the sparks still there

    so the way I see it you can't choose who you fall for it just happens