My boyfriend and I have rushed our entire relationship. We met at work, became boyfriend/girlfriend a month later and three days later I felt like I loved him, so I told him. He said it back to me and then three days later, we had sex. The reason we rushed it was because two weeks after we started...
My boyfriend and I have rushed our entire relationship. We met at work, became boyfriend/girlfriend a month later and three days later I felt like I loved him, so I told him. He said it back to me and then three days later, we had sex. The reason we rushed it was because two weeks after we started dating, he had to leave for training in the military. He gas been sending me letters for a month now and in the latest letter he said that he wanted to start calling me his fiancee'. He didn't even ask me. I am kinda upset because he skipped the step of not only proposing but asking me if I would marry him.should I be upset or thrilled and should I take such a big step when I feel like we've skipped the dating step anyway. There is no solid romance in our relationship. I don't know what I should say. Anybody have any advice for me to figure this whole mess out?
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You said that you love him, and in your profile you describe him as your life and foundation. You seem to have fallen heavy for this guy and that's nice. However, marriage is a lifetime and like yu said you guys were only together for 2 weeks. It's not impossible for people to fall in love in this short of time but what you need to consider is, will it last? Can you picture yourself with this guy for the rest of your life, having kids, raising a family and loving each other unconditionally? These are the questions you have to answer, and if the answer is no, remember it doesn't have to mean the relationship is over, all it has to mean is that your not ready yet.
Please don't marry him. Make that decision for yourself. Your instincts are correct, you are going too fast. You've said it yourself that there isn't a solid romance. You don't have to cut him out of your life or break up with him, but if you get married and become a military spouse, you'll be cutting yourself short if this guy isn't worth it. Having been in the military, I know it takes a huge toll on both the wife and husband. If you are newlyweds who barely know each other, I believe whole-heartedly that the marriage would be doomed from the beginning; or full of arguing and fighting, and then doomed.
Take some time, enjoy your youth, and let things take a more relaxed pace.
If you question your self about marriage the answer is no.
Thats the rule I've always known to work from people I know.
You can date him for 8 years and marriage is just the bond that shows, its final.
Don't make a rush for marriage, it isn't worth it.
My sister and her Boyfriend married after dating from senior year (age 18) until she was 22. They pretty much loved each other, they married and he went into the military, came back from the training, and they broke up. 1 and half years later, to this day they haven't gotten divorced yet even. Money is an issue.
Don't rush. This was my sisters 3rd Boyfriend and she thought he was the one. Out of 3 how does she expect him to be that one?
Hope this helps. I probably could have written that a bit better.
Yes I have an answer for you. Its in the form of a question. Do you love him? Ask yourself these questions? Does your heart ache when he is gone? Do you think of him all the time? Can you see yourself with him mentally when your 60-80 years of age rocking in a swing on the front porch holding hands at that age? If you can say yes to these questions then yes you love him.Do you find yourself looking at other guys and thinking that your boyfriend has nicer eyes, butt ect? or do you say to yourself. WOW he's really cute, I'd like to date him, or I wouldn't mind taking a skinny dip with him. if you feel like this. then NO you definately don't love him and should cut him loose now. and go on with your life. and let him go on with his. Watch the movie little darlings and this shows a relationship just like the one your describing, a meeting and an immediate ending with a rushed love making session and no middle, to get to know each other. DISASTER! CRASH AND BURNED! Tell him in a letter how you feel, be honest honey! If your going to possibly be serious with this man you need to be truthful now, don't hide your feelings from him. if our hiding your true self now what would your marriage be like? I'm a minister, and I have counseled a bit on this subject. Honesty is the best policy. always! Tell him in a gentle way if you want to keep a relationship with him, even though he's so far away that you need to have a preferred slow down in the relationship and things have progressed a lot faster than you would prefer. and you would have preferred him asking your DAD OR MOM OR BOTH for your your hand in marriage even by letter if the need be and then after he gets their approval ( your old fashioned here, tell him that) then you would like a dozen roses and a proper proposal. TELL HIM THIS or TELL HIM GOODBYE and chalk it up as a learning experience on how not to date and involved too quickly. Goodluck and GOD bless.
You deserve a proper proposal. And based on your first sentence I say no. Tell him you aren't ready for a marriage yet, and you want to build your relationship stronger before jumping into marriage. And you are only 18. You may be in love with him NOW, but what about in 50 years? Personally I thin you are too young to be getting married. I think you need to live your life before getting married. Get a steady job, get out of college, party, be wild before getting married. Get it all out of your system so you are read to be settled when you get married. From this question you don't sound very excited about the idea of marriage.