Loving someone too much?

Have you ever love somebody too much that even when they always hurt you, lied to you, ignore you and left you, you are still loving them?


Most Helpful Girl

  • * I used to think people who loved regardless of the character of the person they 'loved'. , Were not in love , but were desperate, weak, obsessed, or simply delusional themselves.

    Now I think it is more just conflicting levels of experience. They may be connected to the persons spirit, but the persons spirit- due to life taking difficult twists turns, that may thwart a person from living up y their full potential- is not connected to their true personality. &

    Because when you truly feel love, your knowledge or experience is tacitly or is intuitively understood, you, in a way experience something of that person, they themselves do not experience of themselves- or at least do not consciously understand.

    (In case this point gets lost in them, you should not loose sight of it. No mater how strong your 'love' feels, when you can not live up to your own potential (the person disrespects you, does not value who you truly are, refuses to acknowledge your worth as separate but equal human being) you are weakened in your ability to love, & therefore useless as love, to the one you love, another reason why you need to be careful of 'how' from 'where' you love, 'when' & 'who' and you love)

    I do not think you are crazy or a poor judge of character,for recognizing where you love. Love is love. It is real before it is understood & it is most often recognized long before it (is accepted by both, or) is realized/ can come to fruition.

    You, just need to decide at what point the impact & power of this love, is beneficial or worthwhile to the both of you, (you can 'love' selfishly) & at what point it is predominately detrimental to the both of you (sometimes to truly 'love' you need to walk away).

    Loving who you love is not crazy. Not knowing when to say good bye to the 'person' you love,( tho you make keep the ' feeling' your love for life) can verge on it, & times can be insane & can also lead to insanity :)

    (Because love involves more than just yourself, You need to be be true to love not just to yourself... Its tricky stuff lol -- Good luck :)


What Guys Said 14

  • Young Lady, this may be a big pill for you to swallow, be it is true. We are not capable of loving anyone too much. Our best idea of love is less than a drop in a sea of what love truly is. If we say we love someone, then NOTHING should ever change that. We love from an understanding of what love is that we hold onto with everything we have. If we allow it to stop, become less, fall off or in any way cease to exist, then we devalue our own idea of what is dearest and most important to us. Our idea of what love is cannot ever be allowed to be altered. If it is, we cease to have a solid foundation in which to stand on. And when that happens, we begin to crumble under the weight of our burdens. Love is truly more than we are able to grasp or thoroughly understand. If it were, it would not be enough to hold us up under the load of our many burdens.

  • Lying is a show-stopper.

    ``Loving'' someone like that is not love; it's a one-way co-dependency.

    Virtues: I'm rich, handsome, educated, respectful, have nice table manners, ...

    Fault: I'm a liar.


  • She means everything to me and I would do anything for her, but she only wants to be friends or so she says, despite her flirting and eye contact telling me she wants more :(

  • Yes I have! And then, I thought to myself: "Enough is enough!" and then I ditched her like a bad habit that she was. You see, when you put in sprayed on insulation in your house, when you think that you have put enough, that means you have put too much. The same goes with relationships. When you question if you have loved enough, you have loved too much for the other party to deserve it. Consequently, when you wonder if you have loved too much that certainly means the dude is so undeserving your love that it is not funny.

    Find someone else with enough sense to know that he is so lucky to have you loving him that he won't take you for granted.

    • Thanks for your advice. I've tried to ditch him so many times but never succeed. Wish I could be that strong =)

  • The only comment I can make is that I am sure guys and girls will have a very different response to this.

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What Girls Said 21

  • There is a difference between loving someone and desiring them. Of course you desire the person you love, but would you love the person if you didn't desire them?

    If you do really love and desire a person who hurts you, as I have also been there and go through this sort of thing occasionally with my current boyfriend, then all I can say is everyday make yourself a little stronger and less dependant on that love (desire). Because it's not the love that hurts, it's the need and the desire tied up with love that does.

    Finding freedom and independance allows you to love more and in a freer way, it also makes you a much more attractive person and you will soon find there are a lot more people out there who will treat you better, but you've got to treat yourself better first.

    Distance yourself, and you will escape the addiction that love can draw you into. Then review your relationship with a clearer head, rather than a cloudy one cast across with emotional storms.

    There is nothing wrong with loving someone unconditionally as long as it doesn't hurt you. If it's disturbing your peace of mind, then you have to withdraw. It's crucial to love yourself unconditionally too.

    • Thank you =)

    • You're very welcome. :)

  • yeah but after that initial time I found out the guy cheated on me, I dropped him. the thing is, you can only take so much and you become a door mat if you take their abuse. if you want the best relationship, don't take s*** from anyone. that's my line.

  • i don't think once you start loving someone you just snap out of it...its taken me years to fall out of love with a guy who trested me like crap...

    often times tho what your taking about is a sign of coe dependence which is an unhealthy attachment to someone .. id look up coe dependency on the internet and see if what's going on with you is similiar to what ius described. I've struggled with coe dependency a lot and it can lead to a lot of hurt if you don't get it worked out.

  • That kind of love scares me...it scares me to think that I may feel this for someone because I know it would kill me if they ever did something like that...but I guess that the risk you take by truly loving someone

  • Yes and I truly hate myself for that, its better off if you never loved that person when they kept hurting you.

    Sweety its not worth it, you need to forget about that jerk who keeps treating you like sh*t. I've been in your position and never want to be again.

    • Me neither but it's so hard to forget him =(

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    • I totally agree. You definitely WILL NOT feel like this about him forever, nor indeed for very long. Just find something in yourself that makes you feel content and alive. Write, dance, walk, create something. Laugh with friends. Paint a picture, join a class, find a hobby, anything that forces you to concentrate on something else. Soon your mind will change its pattern of thinking. And you'll have to struggle to remember him. In time, when it comes to him, you'll be like - who?

    • I really hope I can forget him. I'm doing things I've never done before like going to the gym, taking a cardio dance class, baking, starting a business and many more but I still can't shake the pain away. But then somehow, I stop crying. I haven't cried in two weeks now and I wish it could last for so long. Thank you for the advices =)

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