My boyfriend's lack of affection hurts me?

I have to begin by reassuring everyone that I want nothing more than to be with this guy. He's absolutely perfect, except for one detail: He's not affectionate at all. He's told me a few times that he loves me, but he doesn't like to say it very often. He hates when I say it, and he just doesn't show his affection very well. When I try to bring it up he just says, "That's just the way I am, I'm not very affectionate. You already know how I feel about you".

The problem is, I worry that at some point he's going to stop feeling like that and I won't know... I am a bit insecure, I suppose.

How do we resolve this? Any suggestions on how to talk to him? Thank you!


Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't understand the whole "compromise" thing.

    This is about your insecurities and your problems - why does he have to do something about it? I would understand if he started off affectionate and it stopped, but you've known this about him and still became his girlfriend. It doesn't seem really fair that you expect him to change to satisfy whatever insecurities you have.

    If you're unsure about his love, don't you think that that is a problem YOU need to work on? Despite his very honest explanation the fact that you're still unhappy tells me you have bigger problems that have nothing to do with how your boyfriend behaves. And if you continue to push this, you're going to lose him.

    I think instead of changing him, you need to change yourself and work on your own perceptions of who has responsibilities for what in this relationship. He's giving you everything he's got, and all you must have expected - to ask for more is selfish and unthoughtful in my opinion.

    Good luck.