Aggressive boyfriend?

So, I've been with this guy for a bit, and yesterday we were talking on facebook and he told me that his parents made him so mad that he punched a door and screwed up his hand. I know he gets mad at his family members really easily and when he's upset "pain calms him down." He says that if I made him mad he wouldn't dare physically hurt me, but he has been known to get in fights with other guys at school. He's a big sweetheart when we hang out and when he talks to me. But his aggression towards others concerns me. So. Is he bad news? Or should I trust him not to hurt me? Guys-- how hard is it to control your temper and do you ever get physically violent when you're mad?


Most Helpful Guy

  • It is not that hard to control your temper, its just one of those things that you have to learn to handle. If he is as loose of a cannon as you are suggesting then there is no way to be sure that he won't direct one of his violent outbursts at you. Hopefully he is telling you the truth and he would never hurt you, but in the end it is probably better safe than sorry. Flying into blind rages is a serious red flag, whether he hurts you or not you probably shouldn't be with someone who is that prone to overreacting. I'd say he is bad news.

    • Do you think his anger issues has something to do with is age? Do guys grow out of that, or is it a trait that sticks with them?


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What Guys Said 1

  • He's a powder keg and I recommend you take a pass on this guy. If he pursues and you want to invest in him, suggest he get some help managing his anger and then talk to his therapist (with his permission) for their assessment of your risk.


What Girls Said 2

  • haha my boyfriend is similar. he is a very angry guy! but not with me. I like to try to calm him down bc I think sometimes it is overreaction.
    If you aren't comfortable with his behavior, perhaps this should be a discussion between you two?
    you could always give it a go and see how it works out.

  • i would say if he has punched a door and he said that pain calms him down that he's not the best guy to get involved with. He could not mean to hit you and in seconds turn on you and hit u. that happened to my neighbor a few months ago. her husband just fliped, they were in an argument and she went to get in the car, he pulled her out and drug her back in the house. And she is a big girl so she shoulda been able to protect herself but he just fliped out. ACcidents can happen so if you really like him and trust him stay with him but if you don't want to take the chances of him flipping out on you stay away from him. I think he needs anger management to help him.