How to bring up the exclusivity question?

Hey guys, just wondering.. what would be the best way to ask whether or not things are exclusive? I'm sure we are, I just want the confirmation. Or how do I ask him where he feels like the relationship is going?


I don't want to be the type of girl that is always like "what are you thinking/ how do you feel about me." But I want some sort of confirmation that he is as willing to invest in me as I am in him.


Thanks :)

 

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  • I was dating a dude for about a month and within that time, asked him a couple times about exclusivity. The first time, he told me that he had never officially asked a girl to be his girlfriend, but that he would be upset if I kissed another guy. The second time, he was silent when I told him that "one of my friends was asking me what our status was". In other words, I kept putting pressure on him because he clearly wasn't that into me. I guess I shouldn't have slept with him so soon.


    Your case is most likely different. I'm sure you weren't stupid enough to rush into sex. I just read in "Why Men Marry Bitches" that you shouldn't bring up exclusivity because that will actually cause the boy to not want to make it official. However, I don't see why you can't do some investigation about it, as the male Anon. pointed out. No reason to waste your time on this guy if it's not really going anywhere.

    • I see. I think guys just take longer to process their feelings than girls do. So...that said, good luck.

    • its actually almost been about 3 months. which is why I'm pretty sure its exclusive. I've met his brother and best friends who already knew a lot about me. He spoils me like crazy. Its just that he got out of a serious relationship about 4 months prior to meeting me.. so I don't know how ready he is for a new one. sorry. I know just asking the question doesn't give ALL the background info on the situation :)

    • I kind of think he's just telling you what you want to hear. If it's only been a month and you're already sleeping together, I am nervous for you because he might not have had enough time to decide how he really feels about you yet. You might want to tell him you want to take it more slowly sexually from now on (just so you can get to know each other better w/o sex muddying things up). See how he behaves after that. If his love goes when the sex goes, you have your answer.

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  • yeah for me I just asked him "do you want me to be your gf?". Also I think the facebook status change is a good thing, I did that with my guy too.

    • wow. that's ballsy. I don't know if I could be that forward lol

  • Selected as most helpful

    Just say "I'm really glad I'm with you." If he balks or doesn't respond for a few seconds, then it's not exclusive. If he smiles and returns the sentiment, then it is.

    Also, FB is the new "official." Ask him when he wants to change his relationship status. It's a great way to non-akwardly make sure you both have the same idea of where things are going. Don't push him about it, let him do it himself. If he does it quickly and it says "In a relationship," you're probably set, (especially if the comments from his friends are celebratory and non-douchey)


    Best of luck.

    • yea I think ill go with your method. its subtle but tells you everything you need to know about whether or not he likes you. he has mentioned before about being really happy with where he is with his life right now especially because that includes having met me. but well see how it goes! thanks!


      & I wish I could do the whole fb thing.. but he doesn't have one :( lol

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