How do I deal with getting dumped AGAIN? What am I supposed to think?

Advice from anyone who has been dumped?

I feel like such a failure. I have never been with a guy for more than a month because for one reason or another, things fall apart, and its usually because I don't want to sleep with them right away. Due to my short term flings, I have remained a virgin because I haven't trusted any of the guys enough to lose it to them yet.

I thought I was dating the perfect guy. I thought everything was going great until after Valentine's day. He came back to my room (it was our third date but we had been talking for about a month) and we didn't have sex.

The car ride after dinner to my dorm he was holding my hand, kissing it, kissing me at stop lights, telling me I was special. And then after we only made out, he hadn't been the same since.

Yesterday he dumped me, and said it was because we were different people with different passions and interests. I feel like the lack of sex was the problem.

What is wrong with me? I can't figure out what I am doing wrong to make all of these things fall apart to quickly. I feel humiliated and embarrassed.

Does anyone else relate to this?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Life's tough sugar cakes. But the good news is you're still young. At this age guys usually only care about sex anyway. They know nothing about girls, next to nothing about themselves and they can't think straight becuase their hormones are screaming directly into their brain like they were standing next to the speakers at a rock concert "F*** F*** F***!"

    How can you expect anyone to focus attention on anything long enough to think straight with all that going on? I respect you wanting to keep your virginity for someone who's earned it, but you have to accept the fact that you are a minority. Whether you like it or not guys will dump you for it, and frankly they'll dump you for any stupid thing. Why? because at this stage guys are not looking for a long term relationship, they don't even understand the concept.

    My best advice to you at this point is to really learn yourself. Suffer through these younger years by just going out, having fun, making friends and completing the picture of who you are. That way if you do get rejected you can look at it objectively and say "doesn't matter, that guy wasn't going to work for me anyway". And now you have the power, and it's you being selective.

    However, if you just can't wait to get it overwith and are dying for companionship, you might want to try an older guy. They tend to be much more patient, much more understanding, and certainly much more experienced. They aren't there just to pump and dump and they aren't going to pressure you for sex like a horny immature jock will. They will listed to what you have to say, care about who you are and make you feel important. Just a suggestion.