Boyfriend makes fun of me...

So I have been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years...in the beginning he was sweet, always complimented me. But now he's constantly making fun of me, or saying things and always throwing in "oh I'm just joking" Sometimes it's funny, but I have problems with my confidence and I have been trying to work on it, and I just feel he is not helping. When I ask him not to make fun of me, he gets mad and says I don't know how to take a joke, it's not that I don't know how...it's the fact that he doesn't balance it out with good things..Why does he do this? And why can't he see that doing it all the time just isn't right? He is the type to joke around with everyone...but he says nice things about other girls..but not me...

 

What's Your Opinion?

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Most Helpful Opinion

  • My ex did that all the time. And at first it was funny and cute. And we laughed about it. Then he escalated it until my self esteem was horrible. I couldn't leave the house without him putting me down at least four times. But here's the thing: I was getting hit on literally everyday. After a while, I understood that it had nothing to do with me being inadequate, it had to do with my ex feeling inadequate. And before you start feeling sorry for him, please understand that it is exactly this cycle which leads to domestic violence. And eventually my ex ended up putting a hole through our wall because he was so frustrated with watching our one year old daughter for an hour.

    Men that need to put you down, are not worth your time. They will try to damage you so much that you could never be with anyone else. It is about power and feeling in control of their lives. He jokes around with other people for the same reason: to establish his dominance over them. He says nice things about other girls for the same reason: he wants to insinuate that you don't have that much power over him. You don't need someone like that. You really are better off alone.

    Oh, and he won't change. Really. He won't. It will get worse. You may have to see this for yourself to believe it, and I can hardly fault you for trying to bring out the best in someone else. But once you have seen the pattern for yourself, please do the smart thing and leave.

What Guys Said 1

  • You're right, his behavior is unacceptable. When you tell him to knock it off, you need to be firm, if he starts arguing and trying to blame you just tell him that this isn't open for debate, he will start treating you with respect. Period.

    • It's not going to get better with time, it's not going to get better by itself. This is something you'll have to fix.

    • Yes, guys are normally like this, until they are taught how to behave in a civilized manner. It's playground bs.

      If it bothers you, you need to stand firm. I'll repeat myself. DON'T ALLOW HIM TO MAKE IT ABOUT YOU. Tell him not to speak to you in that manner and tell him that it's not open for discussion. Then don't get drawn into further discussion about it.

      If he tells you to get over it, maybe you need to think about getting over him.

    • I try to be firm, and he still fights me on it and says to get over it...I don't want him to think I can't take a joke because I can...but sometimes it's too much especially when he doesn't balance it out with positive words. Are guys just normally like this? I'm just not sure if he is saying these things and actually meaning what he says, I'm almost afraid he has lost interest in me...

What Girls Said 2

  • takl to him and tell him how this is making you feel

  • They`re always sweet and complimentary in the beginning lol. Maybe he really I sjust joking around and he doesn`t know you take it seriously and that it actually affects your self esteem. You should talk about this with him so he does know. Maybe he wants to move on too and tahst why he doesn`t say nice things about you anymore. Some people though just tend to take you for granted though and they think they can say ehatever they like and you1ll take it because you1ve been with them for so long. I think you need to sit down and talk to him about this.

    • That might just be the case and so you should just ask him. Say to him maybe you needsoem time apart too think about your relationship. Tell him thta you can take a joke but his jokes hurt and they`re not as playful as he thinks.

    • I have sat down with him, multiple times. He always says he is just joking and that I can't take a joke. I can take a joke, but when it's all the time it starts to get to me...I'm starting to think he's just not interested in me anymore..he's not attracted

    • Lol, I didn`t look through my answer after I wrote it and I was typing pretty fast. My bad. And thanks.

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