Guys get jealous?

some guys just don't seem to care or let any emotion show when they see their girls talking to other guys.i mean, a little jealousy is good in a relationship right? if they don't show anything does it really not bother them because they think they have such a firm hold of their girl that they wouldn't ever leave/cheat on them? what is it?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I wrote a short 250 essay on jealousy and it's social function, enjoy:

    Jealousy is defined as a protective reaction to a perceived threat (especially adultery) to a valued relationship or to its quality (Clanton 1996: 298). Although jealousy is misconceived as a negative emotion, it actually serves as a social function of protecting marriages or relationships leading to marriage thereby contributing to social order (Clanton 1996: 300).

    The misconception of jealousy is that it is universal emotion amongst all cultures which is not true. Jealousy is socially and culturally constructed which varies from cross-cultures depending on marriage rules, social norms and adultery taboo (Mead 1958: 126). For example: in a monogamy society, sex with another partner would go against the norm but considered okay in a polygamy society.

    Jealousy is often considered a personal problem and damaging to the relationship as oppose to a problem involving both parties and to be considered as a useful tool that contributes to social order. People try to suppress their jealous emotions believing they are weak or selfish rather then seeing it as an alert to something wrong. The reason jealousy exist amongst two people is because there is an imbalance of power that needs to be adjusted which will then strengthen the relationship, where marriage counseling could help as opposed to individual psychotherapy (Clanton 1996: 301). The reason jealousy contributes to social order is not necessarily because it prevents adultery or saves marriages, it is because jealousy preserves the ideologies of a given society and social cohesion to their moral values (Davis 1976: 131).

    If you got through that, great if not here's the cliffs: Jealousy is often misconceived as a negative emotion but it does serve a function: to protect relationships and marriage. Jealousy is an alarm or signal that tells an individual that something may hurt or damage the value of the relationship or marriage.

    The best way to deal with jealousy is by talking about the problem and working out a compromise. To suppress jealousy is the worst possible decision.

    • Very long answer but very true indeed. I commend you on your discovery because most guys, let alone people, don't figure that out. I think if you try to talk to the person and they think your weak for talking about what's bothering then they might have some issues with the difference between weakness and strength. being strong means telling someone when something is bothering you and being weak is holding it in. kudos on your reasearch!

What Guys Said 11

  • When I had a girlfriend I would get realyl jelous when she hung out or talked with other guys. But we usually don't try to show it because we look dumb when were jealous. Idk.i kinda showed it but that's because I didn't like it happening so whatever. Yes we do get jealous.

  • No doubt, we're people too you know! We definitely notice when our girl is talking/hugging (anything really, just two examples) a bit much with another guy. We just don't show it at that moment, unless it's something we feel like we need to stop the world for and it can't wait. Guys are just naturally protective about anything, much less a wonderful girl they love. It's just sorta hard to watch them interact with other guys sometimes. But there isn't a lot to do about it, unless it goes too far. You don't want to be ridiculous about it, but inside you just don't want her becoming too friendly with another guy and crossing that fine line. It's just a natural feeling that is hard to swallow. It just expresses how much we care for her. Hope I helped! =)

  • Guys are taught not to show emotion. So they bottle it up. If he's really upset, he'll explode like mentos in soda pop. The questions is will he blow-up with the other dude, or will he blow-up with you?

    If it's something worth having, is it something worth fighting for? If he doesn't want you, then why do you want him. Or maybe he's just a p**** and doesn't want to fight for anything.

  • yes! yes! yes!

  • in they end. we rele don't kno what we got till its gone. he might not show it now but once/if you leave every time time he see's you around guys he'll hurt a little inside

  • I get jealous. I just don't show it. I try not to anyways. If you take it too far jealousy can be an ugly emotion. At the same time it does show you care about the other. It depends on the person.

    • Would you only show that you are jealous if something is taken to what you think is too far?

    • I try not to take my jealousy too far. If I feel its a problem then I'll bring it up.

  • Jealousy is never a good emotion. That lets you know he cares about you but also that he doesn't trust you. Faithfulness destroyed because you want a little jealousy isn't a good thing.

  • It doesn't mean they think they have a hold on you.or that they control you. It means they have options. and if you choose to be with someone else so be it. I say if someone is going to cheat they are going to cheat. you are not going to be able to stop it. so why drive yourself crazy worrying about it

  • I think that most guys do get jealous but try to play it cool

  • Some guys do. some dont, some show it, some wont. I like to go out sometimes with my mates and so does my girl with hers. Hmmm if expected to go out and no guy try talk to me girlfriend then I would just go out with an extremely ugly girl to lower this chance but I didn't take this option. Instead she gets chatted to and shez a really polite girl so she will be friendly if a guy was. (I don't expect her to say "leave me alone I have a bf!" whenever a guy sez she has nice shoes lol) I may feel the smallest bit of jealousy sometimes luckily when I come walking on over she will say "hey let me introduce ya to do my boyfriend this is *****) then I may walk off and let her carry on talking to her new friend and this happens visa versa. If I went out with a girl who flirted with guys she spoke with and didn't seem loyal I would feel jealous and think to me self "well looks like this relationship is going to be just physical from my side am not gonna let her mess with my mind I haven't got time, chances are she's a future cheat" I don't know if you understand where am coming from with this story.

    • I do

      it makes sense =)

What Girls Said 3

  • They get jealous. My boyfriend p*ssed me off so the next day I wore a mini and thigh high sox to school and flirted with a guy in my math class. My boyfriend and the guy scrapped it out after school with the whole school watching.

  • i did a pole on this.YES they do I think around 85 or more percent answered yes.

  • I have been on both sides of the coins on this.

    I have had a couple boyfriends that were extremely jealous literally for things that were figments of their imagination. IE. I'm a few minutes late I must have been up to something.

    Now I am with someone that completely confuses me as he doesn't show an ounce of jealously about anything at all. I don't go out much or anything like that so it might just be our living situation but it has at times made me feel as if he could care less if I left tommorrow. This has bothered me for awhile and I am still trying to figure out what to do.

    I know this much. The stalker/violent version of jealousy is unbareable and dangerous. On the flip side of the coin NO jealously at all is at best a very big concern. How important are you to your partner if they don't show any? I don't know but feedback would be appreciated:)

    • Thats exactly what I mean, sometimes it feels like he would be indifferent if I left..and its like sometimes when you would think he might get jealous instead he just gets quiet and I keep wondering What is he Thinking?? what's going on in that head of his?! he's confusing *sigh*

    • Personally, I think if he's "getting quiet", then that may mean that he IS jealous.

      In my past experience, anytime my guy friend has gotten "quiet" in a situation where I'm talking with, or being shown interest by another guy, my guy friend has always gotten kind of on the quiet side.

      At first I thought that it was just my imagination, or that he was mad at me/or something, but then I started to notice a pattern, and realized that this was just him being jealous.