Can you still LOVE and deeply care about someone but break-up with them?

My ex broke up with me 3 days ago we'd been 2gether for 9 months I love him soo much! and he came over we talked for like 2 hours! and hungout, He told me that he still loves me and that I'm an incredible woman, good person blah blah all this positive stuff BUT all I could think was if you think all this good stuff about me why don't you try to work it out.basically he can't commit to having a girlfriend right now with his stressful work schedule.I was just crying and telling him that he isn't the only guy in the world! and stuff like that, He kissed me, I asked him EVERY possible question as to y he "had" to end it if he STILL loves me so much! I told him that I understand that he needs to focus on his job.but everyday people have jobs AND girlfriends.idk, does this sound like bs to u? if he didn't love me he wouldn't have taken the time to come and tell me WHY.n said he still wants to hangout,hmm


Most Helpful Girl

  • Hey I am sorry that you are going through this, I know its gotta be tough especially that you clearly said you "love him so much". The best thing for you to do is to seriously recognize that the FACT IS he said he can't be with you. Yes it is possible he loves you, yes its possible he deeply cares about you blah, blah, blah but the fact still remains, he can't be with you. I think you need to try to take care of you and do all you can do to try to enjoy the next few weeks. Put some effort into you for now instead of the thoughts of the why's of all this and trying to figure out his MAN BRAIN. Sometmes it takes a little time to figure out what really happened and maybe you'll take this time and figure out some of the things you weren't exactly crazy about in him. And DEFINITELY give him TOTAL space for now. Like I said before sometimes it takes time to get some clear answers, they can come in funny ways. Sorry Girl, try to do something for you now. Easier said that done, believe me I know!

    CoverGirl in Philly

    • YEAH I know I gotta DO ME! right now focuson myself c he's clearly focusing on himmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmself

    • Show All
    • He keeps on texting me..i mean I don't wanna be a total bitch but I need space PLUS he'll miss me if I'm gone!

    • Ofcourse he will and then he will start sweating why you haven't tried to contact him. Take your space and you might be suprised at how tables can turn. They never know what they want.....SORRY Guys out there!!

What Guys Said 3

  • It's hard to say, but he very well may just feel that his life is incredibly stressful and he can't have any strings attached anywhere, which is why friends are good because you don't HAVE to hang out frequently with them to remain friends.'

    And to answer the title question, yes, you can break up with someone even though you love them.

  • My guess is that he tried to let you down gently.

    If he said, "I'm not in love with you any more. I'm sorry it hurts you, but I want to break up and date other women," how would you have responded? Saying something like that to someone who's still in love with you would be difficult.

    The busy work schedule is probably an excuse, as you've guessed.

    I know you're in a world of pain right now, but you have to accept that it's over. It's natural to want to understand why, but ultimately the reasons don't matter. It's over. Get some distance between you and him. Make a clean break.

  • yes you can breakup with someone that you care happens when you realise that ur priorities have changed before BGRs.he says such stuff like how wonderful you are jus to soften the blow.can you imagine if you jus told you that he wanted a break and said all the bad stuff abt you and blamed you for the whole thing?my ex did that to me and I went into depression for 3 months.counselling and all the crap.he came over to tell you personally which is the correct thing to do instead of doing it through the net or over the phone which shows he still thinks for ur well-being.although everything is confusing right now to you there is a chance you 2 can be together again.since he only said its due to conflicting interests and not other girls you know?:)

    • Yes I understand! I feel SO much bettter now too than the last time that we brokeup..i was depressed for moths also! cry ALL the time it was horrible this timeits more like liberating like I KNOW exactly what his reasoning is NOT another woman,,,and he STILL texts me which is and ed trying o figure out how to hndle t I want him to miss me!

    • Haha dun worry..he'll miss you even if you dun do anything..he still loves you and his feelings ain't gonna change..u think wat?he enjoys work ar?LOL

What Girls Said 6

  • He wants his cake and eat it to. He likes the benefits of having a girlfriend but doesn't want the commitment. He said all the nice things as to not hurt your feeling as bad while he was breaking up with you. What I'm about to say is hard to hear but trust me I have been where you have been; if he really loved you he would be with you regardless of having or not having a job. Plus you should never be friends with your ex right after the break-up.

    • He called me yesterday and we talked fpr a while..WOW and he asked me "where do we go from here" WTH! I was just like okay...u brokeup with me!I'm going to DO ME and you DO U!since ur job is too strressing and you can't handle bein committed to me too.THAN he texted me like 7 hrs later asking me what I'm doing!omg I'm not going to contact him because he'll miss me more

  • he prob loves you but might want to be by him self right noe and as far as being stressed at work now that is bs that is not reason to break up with you are lady I am sorry you have to go though this but it has to hurt more than ever before it gets better so just move on hang with friends get out meet new people. and as for all the nice things he was saying well it is his lose cause he is giving some one else the chance to win a good girl. be strong and positve.

  • i think so. I'm planning to break up with my boyfriend soon but I still like him. it's hard to explain for me but I partly feel that I can't give all my time to him because right now it's just the wrong time as I'm pursuing some other things and it's like they say you can't really love someone until you learn to love yourself, I feel that there are some goals I must acheive before getting serious about relationships.

    other than that, personally he makes me feel neglected and like I'm being taken for granted so in a way I feel it is pointless. So it's strange because I do like him, but it's just that we don't quite go togher, we have differnt values and goals in life and I just don't see it going anytwhere. so in your situation if it's not the first reason as mine, it can be this one and he's only saying nice things because you could be perfect.but not for him and he just doesn't want to hurt your feelings.

  • I would say he probably still loves you, but his reason for breaking up is crap. He probably was feeling he needed space or something and felt telling you this would be easier then saying he just don't want to be in a relationship.

    I would suggest giving him what he wants and not having contact with him for a while. If he really does love you he will start to miss you and come seek you out. Plus, time away from him will help you get over what happened.

  • Of course you can love and deeply care about someone but break up with them.

    For example, if you were incompatible, even if it's fun right now you wouldn't be able to get married or whatever, and that would be a reason to break up.

    But babe I hope you feel better soon. I know it's so hard but surround yourself with family and friends and it'll be better more quickly. Then you can work out a game plan to get him back!