Scared of getting in a relationship?

A girl that I have been talking to has had a really bad past relationship and many of my actions have resembled that of his during their relationship. The only thing is she's so scared to get into another relationship because she didn't like herself when she was with him. I know if she didn't have these problems that we'd be together but it's just so hard to hear her lie to herself and tell me that she doesn't want to be in a relationship when she's just not letting herself get into a relationship because of a stigma she's placed on them.

She's told me that she's feeling for me and that she could see herself being with me but every time we start spending a lot of time together and she feels like we're getting close she freaks out and it seem she finds a way for us to get in a fight about something. She's told me her heart tells her to go to me but her head is telling her that she doesn't want to be in a relationship. This is so hard on me it's killing me.


Most Helpful Girl

  • April is right - reassure her. If you truly like her that much you wouldn't go away - so ask yourself do you like her that much to be there for her and understand her - I mean she's kind of in the same position as my sister - I mean her heart just like hers is telling her to go to him, to tell him I want to be with you and I'll try to work it out whatever it is that I'm going through but together with you and her heart is telling her that he'll be there for her so she told me that she's following her heart - but her head...basically - it's our conscious - is telling her don't because she's been hurt and she's afraid but like I said she's following her heart because she want to be with him but my sister made that decision with my help maybe all she needs is someone to talk to - I don't think it has to be someone who's close to her - it can be a friend, a stranger or even you - if you know her problem which you do like April said reassure her - write her a poem or something like that, give her a box of chocolates that is if she loves them, bring her flowers the ones that would describe her - trust me every girl has a flower or flowers that mostly describe her alone - the color, the shape, the smell...basically woo her...and while you're doing it tell her to open up to you but don't pressure her - trust me when I say - it takes time and patience and if you feel like you like her that much than I think that is what you would do...hope this helped. Good Luck!!!!