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Why do guys say they still love you after breaking up with you?

Especially day before Valentine's Day! My boyfriend broke up with me yesterday because apparently he couldn't handle the distance (an hour and a half), and he couldn't handle the fact that I didn't have a job and my car got repo'ed. He said that he wasn't happy in our relationship and hadn't been for a couple weeks. Which leaves me stunned because he never get me any indication that he was unhappy. I can't fix a problem if I don't know what is wrong. What really leaves me stunned is that he said he loves me still, but he doesn't see us working out. Don't say you love me if you're not willing to work at it. That's NOT what love is about.

What's Your Opinion?

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Most Helpful Opinion

  • I think you can love a person and be stressed out by things. So its like he loves you just can't handle the stress of not seeing you all the time that sucks too. I have a friend girl who dates a guy who abusses her. Her parrents love her and hate the stress. They love who she is but hate that she stays with this guy. If this guy loves you it can completly stress him out that he can't see you every day and make love to you every day. It is stressfull for a man when he can't be with his woman. We need you all the time.

What Guys Said 9

  • You can't apply your definition of what love is about to everyone else. People are different and their idea of love is different. They also handle things differently. I'd say in this case in his mind there is no solution to the stress love is causing him.

  • He probably said it because he does love you, just not the same way anymore. I agree though, love isn't about giving up, its about working through the difficult times. Maybe he's hoping that by saying he loves you still, you'd hang on to him. Oh well, his loss right?

  • Ok all these people are giving you insufficient answers in my opinion. So I'm going to help you out =] First off, you need to understand that actions say more than words. Personally, I think that the fact that you don't have a job and the whole car situation is NOT a good thing, trying fixing that ok? There is no way to tell, but there could be other reasons to why he wanted to break up. Maybe he became interested in another woman, who knows? The I love you thing is ridiculous, don't be naive about it. There is a chance that he means it, but its not too easy to tell before you talk to him about this. I suggest you let him know this is bothering you, and that you are willing to listen and to handle the complete truth. I'm not confident that doing so will fix your relationship, but at least it can help finding out the truth.

    • There is a chance that he was completely honest, but I'm just saying it can't hurt to ask.

    • A couple people have suggested he met someone else, but I really don't know when he could find the time between working 4 days straight and being out of town and staying at a hotel those 4 days, then being with me most weekends and then being online when I wasn't with him, and we were usually talking on Yahoo or texting. I told him that when I said I loved him, I meant it. He goes, I meant it everytime. So I don't know. I suspect he probably won't talk to me for at least a few days, if at all.

  • Guys say that and girls say that cause it really do be love but also they be using their brain and heart as well in these decisions I think it was a communication issue not a distance issue cause he should have been able to talk to you about the way he was feeling ma y'all should have a real conversation to get to the bottom of this and bring some clarity to both of y'all and really let him know how you feel speak from your heart and I now your upset but let that part of you go so you can be real and try to salvage this relationship if your really want to ma hope this helped ****Mr. Real Talk The Voice Of It All****

  • Why would you give up on someone you love? Anything worth having takes work and if you love someone you should do everything in your power to be with them and making it work. I don't think he feels love for you but don't get offended at what I'm saying or something. lol.

  • He loves you as a human being, but not as a life partner.

  • Sorry for you, I hope I'm wrong but maybe there's someone else and he said that he loves you so you don't feel that you've been dumped for another girl. love is not words plp keep saying its what we will do to keep love alive and working out throgh hard times in life and relationships.try to find someone who deserve you're love. good luck.

  • Sorry you got dumped. I know that can hurt like crazy. When this guy said he still loves you, I suspect he was trying to let you down gently. Also, there are different definitions of love -- you don't love your boyfriend in the same way you love your parents. And love alone is not the basis for a healthy relationship. If you love a cheating addict, for example, it doesn't matter how hard you work at it. Your love can't save a sinking ship.

What Girls Said 7

  • because they probably do and they broke up with you at the time because it was something on there mind you know

  • I saw your question and decided to answer it because I can see where both of you are coming from. My boyfriend lives over an hour away but we have been together for over a year. I only get to see him once or twice a month (at the very least) and it is hard because neither of us drive. It is hard not being able to see the one you love for so long but every time I see him I know that it is worth it just because of how he looks at me and how he holds me. I guess if you really love someone you would do anything to stay together, even if you are apart for so long. In the end, he wasn't strong enough to handle being alone. That doesn't make him a bad person and I know that it hurts but you shouldn't be angry with him. He probably does love you even though be broke up with you. Me and my boyfriend have broken up a few times but we have always gotten back together because I can't stand being without him. If it is meant to be, you two will find a way to make it work. If not, you will find someone who loves you us as much, if not more, that lives much closer.

  • yeah, some guys are superficial and thy will say things to get laid basically. so don't take it too personally.

  • he loves you but doesn't see how he can salvage the relationship. sees no point if it hasn't already improved

  • It means he still cares about you and always will.

  • if he really loves you he ll try to discuss things w you and try to work it out cause he really wants you in his life but since he chooses the easy way I think get over him asap cause he is so not worth it trust me.i think what he means by I love you is I like you so much but he doesn't appreciate you in his life also he is so selfish as he didn't think how much that might hurt u.when you love someone you put him first.get over him asap

  • He broke up with you the day before Valentine's Day? Wow that's not insensitive at all. I'm sorry hun. It sounds like something guys say to lessen the blow so you don't feel as bad.

    • I would feel a lot better if he didn't say he loved me still, cause when a guy says that, it gives me hope that I could be with them again in the future. =\

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