Unable to get over the past hurt.
Hi, OK so this is a long story and I will give you as much detail as possible. about 10 months ago I met a girl and I fell head over heels with her. I absolutely did everything in my power to win this girl over because she showed interest first (asked me out to get coffee). We started hanging out every now and then at her place watching movies etc and it was awesome. All we did was cuddle but I noticed that she would always have to leave later at night to "pick up her friend from work" but I ignored the obvious red flag because I was too infatuated with this girl. She had my heart. I would visit her often at work and bring her lunch and try to cheer her up when she was sad all that fluffy stuff. Still I felt like there was something between us no matter how hard I tried she always kept me at a distance. So spring break came and I took her to a one of her favorite teams sporting events. It couldn't have gone more right but grant it I didn't kiss her because I started to get the feeling she was seeing someone and I didn't want to intrude I guess. but it wasn't until the one day she had me over and her other girlfriend that I just left early I felt that I wasn't getting anywhere and she was just stringing me on. I told her how I felt about her yet she kept me at a distance I just wanted to love her. So after that day we ended up talking about something she wanted to tell me. Turns out she has a bf...and I told her at that point that I just wanted to be friends it would have been OK with me just tell me now that you want to be just friends and she told me that she couldn't be just friends with me yet for 5 months she stayed just friends over and over again. We would hang out and she would just keep leading me on like a fool. I would ask her does she really love this guy and she would respond to me when you know you know and I love you but I love him more. I just didn't understand she broke my heart and I tried to move on yet she always kept me around and dragging me on this heartbreak roller coaster. She would talk to me about problems in her relationship or what was awesome in her relationship. It absolutely killed me I just wanted to move on from her but towards the end of her relationship with this other guy she saw it was going bad and she started to tell me and then they broke up. She ended up coming to me and of course I welcomed her with open arms but I was so scared of getting hurt again and I told her we were taking things too fast. I told her that I wasn't sure if I could ever get over her breaking my heart and all the pain and trust issues but I told her I am willing to give it a chance...a chance that I might let go of the past pain and be able to forget what happened for 8 months constant heart break and mind games. So we start dating, and I don't skip a beat I constantly spend all my free time with her I am in love but I'm scared and guarded in the process I don't want to get hurt again and the same things she told me about her previous boyfriend she is
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