Its a very long story but please bear with me because I really need your opinions.
I met a Tom at the start of September, he is my flat mates friend and goes to a different university than me and also lives in a different place than me. We hooked up and every since we have been visiting each other every couple of weeks and also Skype and texts and call.
The thing is I really want to be in a relationship with him but he is saying he is not ready for a relationship. We have spoken about this before and he has said if there was anyone he would want to be with its me but he doesn't wanna be with anyone, but he enjoys the time we spend together and wants that to carry on.
So basically he wants to meet up every few weeks and spend a few days/nights being couply and having an amazing time but then he wants nothing whilst were away.
Im getting to the point now where I can't do it anymore. Is it selfish of me to either want a relationship or nothing at all?
Also if I give him this ultaminum do I do it now, via phone/email or do I do it in three weeks time when it is planned for me to visit him for two nights?
What do you think ?
Most Helpful Guy
the ultimatum is preferable through phone, but the stronger effect is FACE 2 FACE. you can give him time to wait perhaps date a little more then let him decide after that. if he still can't make up his mind LEAVE. no its not selfish to ask for a relationship. else your case could bloom into a FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS RELATIONSHIP0