Where do girls find guys who want to commit? I don´t understand.....

All I meet are guys who want to have sex with me and that´s it. All the girls I know either, the same happens to them, or they have had the same boyfriend for years.

I don´t understand. Where do they meet guys who want to be in a committed relationship? It makes me so sad because I feel as if guys only want me for sex. I want sex too, but inside a loving relationship...

I want to make it clear that turn down the guys who only want me for sex, I don´t sleep around lol. I´m actually a virgin.
Also, I honestly had no idea the same thing happened to guys, I´m sorry. Wouldn´t it be great if all the people who want loving relationships just found each other?


Most Helpful Guy

  • That's a common problem in your age range. Guys hit college age, and, especially if they actually go away to college, figure out that there are enough girls desperate for companionship and validation that they can get sex without any commitment, and they lose all desire to be "tied down' by a relationship. Plus, they're in their sexual peak years.

    But not all guys are like that; just nearly all of the popular/attractive ones. Those are the ones you really want, I know, but too many of your gender are willing to give up easy sex to them, so if you won't do the same, they're just going to move on to the next girl who will, and you aren't going to change that about them.

    That leaves you with two choices:

    - The shy, geeky, or just-not-confident-with-women types of guys, who will appreciate a relationship and a girl to be close with, and have no problem with a relationship. The girl will have to initiate more with these guys, and be more understanding that these guys won't understand many social conventions (you'll have to do some teaching), but they usually make good, loyal, appreciative boyfriends. They'll also be in your age range, and if you're away at school, will be living a similar lifestyle, if that's important to you.

    - Older guys. Guys in their late 20s-to-early 30s (and up) will have largely gotten past their self-centered "party phase" of their life, will have gotten established in their careers, and are ready for real relationships. They will actually be MEN at this point, with some experience and wisdom, and can take charge and be leaders. They will probably also have some resources of their own at that point (a car and their own place to live), rather than living carefree off Mom and Dad's money, so they'll appreciate things that younger guys often don't.

    If you don't want to be single (and why would you?), pick from one of these two groups. and you'll be able to find what you want. You might even be surprised at how much happier you are compared to what you THOUGHT you wanted...

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Would you date someone younger/older/married?

What Guys Said 28

  • Depends heavily on your environment, it's demographics and how common casual sex is, plus how good looking the guys are you are going for.

    Age is a big factor too. If you still have guys your age without a lot of experience some of them will more likely want to commit. I'd actually say less guys want to commit as they get more experience, then they start being open to it again later

    • Good answer

    • Re update:

      YES ... it would be great if people could meet up with those who want the same.

      Of course, they sort of can.


      Be very clear and open about what you're looking for. Don't play coy, don't try to trap people.

      If you want a boyfriend where you are close and intimate and emotionally care for each other and explore sex and enjoy that together, say so. Tell anyone who cares. And guys who want that will think 'WOW that's what I want' and take an interest.

  • It's called patience without it you're gon keep running into the same douchbags lol but seriously though I'm sure you like sex and all like the rest of us but ya gotta have patience make em work for it I mean really work not like a week or 2-3 dates make sure it's long enough that the average player says uck this and goes to get ass somewhere else. If you're trying to figure out if a guy really likes you ignore him for 3-4 days straight or as long as you can and see how often he tries to contact you if he gives up trying then he ain't the one for you because I know when I want something I'm persistent as can be.If a guy kind of gives ya the cold shoulder do this also because that's what my girl did to me I told her in the beginning I didn't want nuttin serious I had just gotten out of an 7 year relationship and then a bunch of short relationships as well lets just say she's persistent too actually to the point of being too pushy and I'm a rebel so I went against almost everything she wanted me to do well after 3 years she had enough and bounced left the state even and ignored me for a week straight drove me f***in bonkers lol but she did wake me up that way and I made sure I won her heart back. But yes patience is the key if ya ask me don't go looking for a relationship live your life and have fun and when you find one worth it you'll know more than likely and if ya don't know at first like me I'm sure you'll figure it out sooner or later whether it's on your own or through a break up because sometimes a breakup and time to think will bring a couple back together and stronger than ever...

    • worst advice in the world.

    • Show All
    • Theres a price for your eternal rebellion, my friend.

    • I'm j/k man jeez people need to lighten up a lil...lol Change your tampon or take a pill maybe I don't know honestly but I'm not racist against anyone if that's how you took it Ii'm sorry you don't know me to know my personality but I was just bein stupid because ol boy said china wanted there wall back no harm intended I apologize. Trust me I've paid more than enough for my rebellion as a young adult...

  • I want a meaningful relationship to and also have the same viewpoint of women as you do men depends on the individual person I guess or when you meet that special someone.

  • Funny, I think the same about girls. There are just fewer of the type you're looking for. Try church, volunteering places, etc. People who do those sorts of activities usually have higher moral fiber than the average slob you meet at bars, etc.

  • The question goes the opposite way too, but the answer truly somewhere out there. There are guys who love to commit. Sadly most girls never give them chances or see them as potiential dating partners and vhoose rather friend zone them, and later whine there aren't any good men left out there.

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What Girls Said 4

  • I don't know. I found my boyfriend on vacation and he has made me very happy for the past five years. And we're both still virgins so I think I got a winner lol. But I see what you mean. Of my female friends, I'm the only one to have "settled down" with a guy for the long haul as they call it. The rest of them seem to have the same issue you're having.

    The only advice I have to offer (and admittedly it's not really advice) is: It's all about timing. You need to be in the right place in your life and meet a man who is in the exact same place in his life with the same goals and ideals as you, and then you'll have found your man. But it's really just a guessing game of trial and error as there's no real way to tell where they are in their life in relation to where you are in yours.

    Some, like me, find their match right away at a very young age (he was my second boyfriend and I was 14) and others take longer to find theirs. The only thing I can tell you is to keep your chin up; the right guy will come along eventually.

    • 5 years with you and you didn't give it up? Give this man an award!

    • He's a good guy, I guess.

  • Where do girls find guys who want to commit?

    I find them wherever I go. Other gals probably find them in guys who are desperate or have no to little options hence he wants to commit because it means a steady sex supply. It's telling how often guys who want a girlfriend/wife rarely have any sexual options and no to low success with gals.

    " It makes me so sad because I feel as if guys only want me for sex"

    Probably suited not to let guys behaviors affect your emotions. Guys likely only want sex unless the gal is exceptionally attractive and/or exceptionally subservient pandering to his ego. I fill the former of being attractive probably why I get so many guys who have 'feelings' for me and want to commit.

    • I disagree. There are guys who want to settle with the right girl without a need for sex. I'm an example

    • Show All
    • Yeah I don't know if I just have a low sex drive or what but I like to have that warm special feeling and prefer it over sex.

    • @Michaelmwm19

      Possibly low sex or more feminine than masculine as most guys likely want sex and that supposed "special feeling" they have.

  • In your age group to be honest guys who are willing to commit are few and far between. I think it's more the norm these days that guys prefer to engage in more short lived flings and one night stands until they reach a point in maturity where they feel able to take on greater responsibilities. You'll probably notice that even with your friends in longer-term relationships, actual commitments take a long time to come around. I think women feel this urge earlier in their adult life so it can be a frustrating period when it comes to dating. I'd advise you to enjoy it, though - enjoy being single, concentrate on your education or your career, that way when the guys come around they will be faced with a woman who is fulfilled in her own life and who it would be impossible to let slip through their fingers. That said, there's no harm in putting yourself in the best possible position for meeting a good and responsible man - try social groups and meetings centred around your interests.. pretty much anywhere other than a club or a bar can be a good place to meet a decent guy.

  • i feel the sameway so many girls give it up for nothing ruins it for the rest of us

    • Yeah, but those aren't the girls guys typically want to take home to their family...

      you will eventually find someone decent, don't worry.