Why do relationships end?

If 2 good people meet and they start a relationship because they were genuinely interested in each other, what are some reasons why that relationship might end? It seems most relationships eventually end but why? If the people are not crazy or have any of the other super bad qualities like abusiveness or jealousy, etc etc?


Most Helpful Guy

  • The most common reason is compatibility, or the lack of it. People don't really DATE anymore, they just meet someone, feel some attraction and butterflies, and BOOM, they're in a relationship. It might be months or years before they actually start talking about what their goals and dreams and values are, only to find out they have HUGE differences. The gaps are often too big to fill. By dating for a period before they let themselves get too attached, and by talking a lot during that dating time about where they've been, where they want to go in life, and how they plan to get there, they can discover deal-breakers before they're committed, and realize that it isn't going to work and go their separate ways BEFORE they've been together for months or years. Problems can be worked out in advance, and thus avoided in the future.

    Another problem is that a lot of people weren't taught how to handle life's problems and challenges, and so when things get tough, as they eventually do for everyone, they don't handle that in a healthy way. They self-destruct, or they turn to other things to help them avoid their problems (drugs, booze, cheating, spending, avoiding, etc.). Those kinds of things will tear even a previously healthy relationship apart.

    There are plenty of other reasons too:

    - financial stress

    - failure to grow and adapt to change

    - mental/emotional/health problems

    - unrealistic expectations (naivety/immaturity)

    If you start with a solid foundation, with a person you've vetted and are reasonably compatible with (no big red flags), and you both work to keep your relationship healthy and learn to communicate with each other always, chances are, you'll be able to survive anything that comes. So many people just don't do that, though.


What Guys Said 14

  • Theres many reasons why relationships fail. Everybody is aware of the term 'honeymoon period'. Once the honeymoon period ends and the rose colored glasses begin to fade, you start seeing the person for who they really are. Irrelevant of who the person is, they instinctively try to put your better traits forward when first dating another. As absurd as this may sound, its almost like a job interview. You're not going to tell the prospective employer that you have frequent sickies, don't like the job or you're taking it for the sake of a wage or whatever other bad habits or traits you may have. Back to the dating scene now and the first and subsequent dates and the period that follows is really no different.

    But as time goes on, those bad habits that you don't allow to come to the surface initially begin to come through. Then it comes to the point as time further passes by, whether or not a person is compatible with the person that is, not the person that you were initially presented with.

    This would account (in my opinion) for the majority of reason(s) behind relationships failing in their infant stages. (between 3 - 6 months)

    It often stinks that things work out this way, but unfortunately its just the age we live in. I have often found myself in this category, realising at the conclusion of the relationship that I was not being truly honest to the other person nor to myself.

  • its all down to compatibility, if after a short piece of time, there's still an empty void in your relationship, ie something sexual or just not talking much, then this is often a sign that your no longer compatible with that person, so couples choose to split, but also, people don't put in the effort a relationship needs sometimes, so again they split, because a relationship needs a lot of effort from both sides, and if only one side makes the effort, then its not going to work, so if every one would just try qa little harder and not expect so much to soon, a lot more people would be in happy relationships for longer,x

  • People change and people move apart. Usually that is the largest factor.

  • They don't want the same things/they're not compatible

    They keep trying to change each other.

    They're in different places in life.


  • We aren't pieces of a puzzle that come out of a box where everything is supposed to fit perfectly at the end. But as a relationship progresses and matures, you're going to find some or a lot of pieces don't fit very well and it'll come down to how much will both work on reconciling those pieces that don't fit.

    It's just too easy for two people to say "genuinely interested" when they start a relationship. See what they do when the boats starts rocking in the relationship to see if they are "genuinely interested" in fixing it.

  • Status Quo is a killer is most situations (job, sport, relationships)

    When you start dating everything is new, undiscovered.

    After a while you really know the important things of each other.

    When those special things become normal, we get bored, and everything around you starts looking... undiscovered.

    We live in a disposable age, we never repair things, we just buy a new one.

    This is getting normal in relationships as well.


  • Even if relationship feels perfect, if Lovers don't keep trying to win over their mates, an keep the relationship fresh, than that's when relationship become imperfect.

  • whenever two people meet they start falling in love, and they get giddy every time they see there partner they get excited and feel butterflies in their stomach ect. but after you've been together for a while all those feeling start to fade away and you get used to each other, so some people make that mistake of thinking "oh I don't feel the way I used to I should probably move on" but in reality no matter who your with, the butterflies in your stomach for them are going to fade away eventually, people just need to learn to be happy with what they already have.

  • because cupid gets sick and tired of them...

    lots of reasons that can apply differently for lots of different people.

    sh*t happens.

    but the normal one is when someone just stops feeling the same way about someone and moves on

  • With time all people change, this can leave people at different levels. Another is having different priorities, it may have been not big deal while dating, But 5 years down the road it is. There are so many things that can put space between a couple. It takes work, effort from both sides to maintain a lasting relationship/ Communication is something that a lot of relationships lack. Just read how many questions on here state what did my girlfriend/boyfriend mean by this. If you have to ask a group of strangers instead of your partner, then odds are you won't last.

  • ummm... lots of reasons, but I think after a while you get too comfortable with the person and that's when the problems start. This is when people tend to start not trying anymore to impress the other person and they get too predictable and do the same things on a daily basis.

  • People realize how overrated relationships are.

  • In my opinion, most people leave because they feel like there is something better for them out there. Simple as that.


What Girls Said 4

  • you can be genuinely interested in someone but a lot of times things end because you guys no longer have anything in common, or you find out afterward and after the interest that there isn't much you two connect on. Or you just discover that theyre really not the type of person you want to be with

  • sometimes they end because although the they may genuinely be interested in each other, it does not mean they will last. Sometimes people do not know how to keep the relationship going. Or they start to notice things that they may not find attractive in each other. Sometimes that "genuinely" feeling might have just been for a few days. Its like having a new toy, the joy you get out of it can only last for so long, until you start to realize that its not as a big deal as you thought it was. I guess it depends on both partners if they seriously want to be commmited. Because just because you have feelings for someone it doesn't mean you are ready to be with them or that things will be amazing. Relationships take time.

  • Because, you've got to be really choosy about who you decide to spend the rest of your life with.

    We get to see only the favorable side of people in the beginning, generally. When we learn more about them and no longer feel they're quite our cup of tea, we realize we can't tolerate it indefinitely.

    People stick together when what annoys others about them is a common enough or tolerable quality or their good qualities are seen to outweigh the negative ones. Sometimes, people scare themselves off before they can get to that part, to avoid the pain. Etc. there are a myriad of reasons. It's OK though, with billions of people (trillions even? Don't get me lying) You have plenty of room to find thousands of friends and one special someone to go the distance with.

  • Distance