My ex boyfriend used me please help!

my ex boyfriend and I had been on and off for over a year. We had been great until the summer when his mom had wanted him to break up with me since he was going to college (im a senior in high school). During this time we fought a lot and barely got to see each other because his mom didn't allow it. We broke up at least once a week and he constantly went from listening to his mom to break up with me or to be with me. We ended up while he was in college for a little bit before he left me for another girl. I got sick of it and did no contact to get him back. It worked and he did a complete 180 he bought me everything, flirted with me in front of his friends, and would even walk 6 miles from the university to the train station to see me. I blew up at him at the end of January because he followed this girl on instagram that I told him not to and that I knew had this massive crush on him. He had left me 3 times before in the past for other girls and I thought he would leave her for me. We had a huge fight over it broke up got back together and a few days later he did end up leaving me for her. She was a rebound relationship though and he ended up leaving her and 2 days before Valentine's day we hung out. We got back together made out and went to dinner. The next day I found out that he hadn't really wanted to date and had used me to make out. We had always agreed no matter what we would be friends after the break up but this time I was too hurt to be his friend. I tried to agree to no contact afterward for a few months but he couldn't last a week and kept texting me everyday until I gave in. I talked to him on the phone for 3 hours and a few times in the next week but every time I talk to him how he used me to make out always comes up. He has done a lot of things to hurt me before but this one I just can't forgive him enough to be his friend. He has even bought me a Valentine's day gift, a birthday gift a couple of days ago and he is constantly apollogizing and saying he feels terrible. This is one of the first times that I really do believe he is sorry but I honestly just think it's too late. I finally told him for good that we couldn't be friends and that we couldn't talk and the last thing he said was "ok I love you be safe" why is he buying me all of these gifts and really trying to make things right with us when he has another girl that he for sure likes? please help!

Most Helpful Guy

  • From what I've read I've been on both sides of this type of relationship. That being said, RUN AWAY! He just went to college. College is the time where "new born adults" learn to be bad. Up until you move away your parents are your moral compass for better or worse. College or just moving away from them allows you to be and do whatever you want. And we all have to be "bad" at some point to truly learn how to be a version of "good." It sounds like you're his f*** buddy while he figures this out. It's going to be painful but leave him in the past. Become his first lesson. Change your number, find a new guy and move on. It sounds harsh but the only way to break the cycle is to end it completely. Otherwise you'll become the old comfortable hoodie that guys never get rid of no matter how tattered it is.

    • I do plan on leaving him completely and not talking to him anymore. I just don't understand how he's using me as a f*** buddy when I'm a virgin

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    • Emotional f*** buddies work the same way. He trusts you to always be there as a safety net or his blankie that he can tell all his worries to. His first lesson as in "This is what not to do to a girl or they leave!"

    • thank you so much! I have really been struggling with this since he is my first boyfriend and we've been together since 2011. But you're completely right he even told me himself that no matter what he knows that I will always be there for him