My ex boyfriend used me please help!

my ex boyfriend and I had been on and off for over a year. We had been great until the summer when his mom had wanted him to break up with me since he was going to college (im a senior in high school). During this time we fought a lot and barely got to see each other because his mom didn't allow it. We broke up at least once a week and he constantly went from listening to his mom to break up with me or to be with me. We ended up while he was in college for a little bit before he left me for another girl. I got sick of it and did no contact to get him back. It worked and he did a complete 180 he bought me everything, flirted with me in front of his friends, and would even walk 6 miles from the university to the train station to see me. I blew up at him at the end of January because he followed this girl on instagram that I told him not to and that I knew had this massive crush on him. He had left me 3 times before in the past for other girls and I thought he would leave her for me. We had a huge fight over it broke up got back together and a few days later he did end up leaving me for her. She was a rebound relationship though and he ended up leaving her and 2 days before Valentine's day we hung out. We got back together made out and went to dinner. The next day I found out that he hadn't really wanted to date and had used me to make out. We had always agreed no matter what we would be friends after the break up but this time I was too hurt to be his friend. I tried to agree to no contact afterward for a few months but he couldn't last a week and kept texting me everyday until I gave in. I talked to him on the phone for 3 hours and a few times in the next week but every time I talk to him how he used me to make out always comes up. He has done a lot of things to hurt me before but this one I just can't forgive him enough to be his friend. He has even bought me a Valentine's day gift, a birthday gift a couple of days ago and he is constantly apollogizing and saying he feels terrible. This is one of the first times that I really do believe he is sorry but I honestly just think it's too late. I finally told him for good that we couldn't be friends and that we couldn't talk and the last thing he said was "ok I love you be safe" why is he buying me all of these gifts and really trying to make things right with us when he has another girl that he for sure likes? please help!


Most Helpful Guy

  • From what I've read I've been on both sides of this type of relationship. That being said, RUN AWAY! He just went to college. College is the time where "new born adults" learn to be bad. Up until you move away your parents are your moral compass for better or worse. College or just moving away from them allows you to be and do whatever you want. And we all have to be "bad" at some point to truly learn how to be a version of "good." It sounds like you're his f*** buddy while he figures this out. It's going to be painful but leave him in the past. Become his first lesson. Change your number, find a new guy and move on. It sounds harsh but the only way to break the cycle is to end it completely. Otherwise you'll become the old comfortable hoodie that guys never get rid of no matter how tattered it is.

    • I do plan on leaving him completely and not talking to him anymore. I just don't understand how he's using me as a f*** buddy when I'm a virgin

    • Show All
    • Emotional f*** buddies work the same way. He trusts you to always be there as a safety net or his blankie that he can tell all his worries to. His first lesson as in "This is what not to do to a girl or they leave!"

    • thank you so much! I have really been struggling with this since he is my first boyfriend and we've been together since 2011. But you're completely right he even told me himself that no matter what he knows that I will always be there for him

What Guys Said 6

  • he's going to keep leaving you. You two don't want the same things.

    • What do you mean we don't want the same things?

    • Is he fooling around with these other girls?

      My best guess is he genuinely likes you, but he also wants to be having sex.

      I'm not suggesting you should just have sex. I'm saying you two maybe don't want the same things in a relationship right now.

    • Well he says that he wants to be a virgin until married and he has moved pretty fast with these girls. But we definitely don't want the same things he still trying to find out who he is

  • Player in training. Avoid.

  • he knows your virgin he want to your first so he'll keep you around. What you do tell him you lost to some random guy .See how long he sticks around then. When you tell him, make sure you make him think the guy had a big weenie. The reason being is he will come back think that your still tight as virgin. Him being a college guy he thinks he sleep with college girls and still have you. That you will be waiting for him when he comes home. he's a wanna be player

  • Yeah he's just using you as a f*** buddy, he's only gonna give you attention when he needs it, id say stay away from this relationship. Id also suggest not being friends with this guy, he seems like a real jerk.

    • how is he using me as a f*** buddy when I was with him for over a year and I'm still a complete virgin

    • Because that's what it's going to become, I can tell already. Right now you're his "makeout buddy" but then it's gonna turn into a f*** buddy kind of thing in a little bit. Also, I want to echo the girl who responded, buying gifts is such an easy way to say "i'm sorry" and it's pathetic. Avoid this guy at all costs.

    • Yea you're completely right. Even though he's with some other girl he still talks to me behind the other girls back and was going to ditch her next week to hang out with me instead. I really do need to get away from him thank you so much!

  • Some people will change. But you can only give someone so many chances.. At this point you are asking others which means you don't and can't trust I'm!


What Girls Said 1

  • Buying gifts to say he's sorry is so easy. Like everything is forgotten and good after some gifts. I feel that isn't enough. If I were you, I'd need a good talk with him, a sincere apology and explanation why he acted like such a jerk. He lied to get you back for a night, who says he won't do the same thing again? If you wanna be friends after a while, you'll need some closure from how he behaved now. I suggest you meet up and talk about this.

    • The sad part about this is that he was going to ditch the girl he's currently with to meet up with me on Friday so we can hang out. I can just tell that this is just an ongoing cycle and that I need to leave him for good. Thank you!