Why do men pull back once they've slept with a girl after a couple/few dates?
Is a test to see how the girl will react and if she reacts in a needy way they ditch them?
This happened a couple of times and wondering is it them or me?
Most Helpful Guy
A few reasons that come to mind are:
1) He's passed the courting stage, and now he has to determine what kind of relationship he wants with you and how he's going to maintain that relationship. All guys have to seduce a girl, play on her emotions in the beginning, and lead her to sex. Once we have, we're not going to continue the same game. The skills to get a girl into bed a few times aren't the same as the skills needed to maintain a relationship.
A lot of girls have unrealistic expectations of what a guy should do for her, thus they live in a fantasy world where they think a guy is going to woo her forever like she's some sort of entitled princess in a romance novel. That just ain't so. So if it takes unrealistic wooing to get you into bed, then you're likely going to feel like things have dried up once reality sets in and you're being considered for a relationship. It's your bad for not being realistic to begin with.
2) You weren't all that interesting of a person to begin with. You might be good looking, but if all you have to keep him intrigued is your looks and sex, then he might get bored of you. The sex might be good so he plans to keep you around, but you're a boring person so he pulls back a little to keep things fresh. Getting to eager and going to fast means things are going to burn out fast.
3) You changed after sex, got more emotional and attached to him. You're texting him all the time and you're making your life all about him now. So he's just pulling back, playing it cool and letting you chase. You're looking for commitment and while he might be considering it down the road, he's not going to jump right into things, you have to earn it. He doesn't want you to get the wrong impression that your in, doesn't want you to get too familiar with his place, and such. He wants to take it slow, keep having sex and getting to know you more and take it as it comes. When things feel right, if they do, then he'll commit then if you're not too pushy.
4) He's just out for sexual conquests.
5) He thought you two were incompatible, and the sex wasn't enough to keep him around either. Now he knows that for sure, and it's time to move on.