Can 31 year old man be with 22 year old woman?

and have a real relationship?


let's say she's a graduate student and he is already working.


i know the age gap is not tiny, but is it possible that this man can want a relationship with her or is she too young for him to take seriously?


i ask because I am the girl and I like a man that age. I generally connect best with older men, even my friends and parents say that they see me with an older guy, or that an older guy would suit me well.


that is because I like to have serious discussions, I have a serious head on my shoulders and I am responsible. I also like to have deep conversations and I am very much a thinker. I definitely know how to joke around too, but I am generally more serious than many my age. I hate partying and getting drunk. I am more introverted. a lot of older men seem to share my interests, more than ones my own age.


this guy and I seem to connect well, but he knows I am still "just coming into" myself as I am finishing graduate school in 2 years.while he is older and out of school for about 4-5 years. we have good conversations, and the gap doesn't seem huge (they say it narrows) but sometimes I wonder if he looks at me like a kid who may only be good for a little sexy time fling at the most :(


he is respectful, but still. obviously, I am behind in my life stage, though I am not exactly "going nowhere" or in my party phase. I am serious about relationships. but, is the age gap small enough that a guy could be OK with it?

 

What's Your Opinion?

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What Girls Said 4

What Guys Said 11

  • Yeah my last boyfriend was 5 years older, I've been with guys who are 7-8 years older, and the guy I'm currently dating is 10 years older. Been working out quite well for me (:

  • yes, look at he guy from the hangover

  • Heck yeah! I'm 22 and been with a guy who's 38. He's fantastic!

  • Hell yeah! I'm 23 and the guy I like is 38 so yeah its perfectly fine!

  • Selected as most helpful

    You should let go of your issue with the age difference and focus on growing the relationship. Stop projecting all those thoughts and attitudes on him. It's not fair. If you can't get past it, ask him. The difference is no big deal.

    • This GAG thing is a pain. Since you're anon (which I think is smart in this case), I can't friend you so please friend me and we can swap messages/email to discuss this more thoroughly.

    • well we do smile and make a lot of eye contact with each other. also he mirrors me and sometimes grooms himself or fiddles a lot when we are talking

    • Classy flirting isn't slutty or skanky. Smile, laugh at his jokes, touch his arm when you get the chance, let him see your eyes. Wear clothes that are appropriate for the setting AND show off your best features. If you are buxom, wear push up bras when appropriate (read when you know you can do it without being over the top. Wear tops and sweaters that show off your bust without putting on display. If you have a nice ass, wear skirts (preferred) and pants that show it off.

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  • That's a whole generation's difference, and most likely you are just a fling for him. so many girls care only about how much money a guy has to spend on them, so they ignore their school colleagues and date older guys--just like in high school.


    No one will think you are other than a fling for him, and all your age mates will resent it, even if they're too intimidated to tell you that.

  • i'm sure many girls would be okay with that

    • And they come looking for approval, because they know they have a problem...

  • Try it and see

  • Yes. I've done it.

  • My sister is 57 her husband is 68, they are happily married 36 years having 5 children.

  • Sure I like younger women too, though I worry that they are not in the stage of her life where she would want to settle down

    • i do want to settle down. and he is single too

  • yes with out any major social issues

  • I see nothing wrong with it.

    • He's a one a nd a million guy. I'm so in love with him.

  • Yes, for sure. My brother is 36 and has a 23 year old girlfriend. They've been together for 2 or 3 years now and have a 20 month old boy together. I think it's more common for a younger girl to be with an older guy since girls and guys mature at different ages with men generally taking longer.

  • do you hang out with him around guys his own age? any age?

    • tell him you'd like to see him more often, that leaves the ball in his court. if he suggests a date or swapping numbers, you're golden.

    • yeah, I understand that. that's essentially why I asked the question.

    • if he's anywhere near as serious as you claim yourself to be, he may, think on your youth and think that you'd be better suited with a younger man. yes, you like him because he is the way he is. he may like you for the way you are, but things change and him being older can have a pronounced effect on you. granted, he's not 15-20 years older, but he'll still think about it. there is a scene in hp where lupin is confounded as to why tonks wants him. same setup.

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