Can 31 year old man be with 22 year old woman?

and have a real relationship?

let's say she's a graduate student and he is already working.

i know the age gap is not tiny, but is it possible that this man can want a relationship with her or is she too young for him to take seriously?

i ask because I am the girl and I like a man that age. I generally connect best with older men, even my friends and parents say that they see me with an older guy, or that an older guy would suit me well.

that is because I like to have serious discussions, I have a serious head on my shoulders and I am responsible. I also like to have deep conversations and I am very much a thinker. I definitely know how to joke around too, but I am generally more serious than many my age. I hate partying and getting drunk. I am more introverted. a lot of older men seem to share my interests, more than ones my own age.

this guy and I seem to connect well, but he knows I am still "just coming into" myself as I am finishing graduate school in 2 years.while he is older and out of school for about 4-5 years. we have good conversations, and the gap doesn't seem huge (they say it narrows) but sometimes I wonder if he looks at me like a kid who may only be good for a little sexy time fling at the most :(

he is respectful, but still. obviously, I am behind in my life stage, though I am not exactly "going nowhere" or in my party phase. I am serious about relationships. but, is the age gap small enough that a guy could be OK with it?


Most Helpful Guy

  • You should let go of your issue with the age difference and focus on growing the relationship. Stop projecting all those thoughts and attitudes on him. It's not fair. If you can't get past it, ask him. The difference is no big deal.

    • he isn't a boyfriend, just a guy I know. I sense that there is chemistry between us, but I don't know if he would act on it, especially because I do wonder about the age difference (sometimes I feel so inferior next to him as he is older and a very smart guy, I would feel flattered if he wanted to date me), but it definitely does not bother me/i would give him a shot, if he was willing.

    • Show All
    • well we do smile and make a lot of eye contact with each other. also he mirrors me and sometimes grooms himself or fiddles a lot when we are talking

    • This GAG thing is a pain. Since you're anon (which I think is smart in this case), I can't friend you so please friend me and we can swap messages/email to discuss this more thoroughly.

What Guys Said 11

  • That's a whole generation's difference, and most likely you are just a fling for him. so many girls care only about how much money a guy has to spend on them, so they ignore their school colleagues and date older guys--just like in high school.

    No one will think you are other than a fling for him, and all your age mates will resent it, even if they're too intimidated to tell you that.

  • Yes, for sure. My brother is 36 and has a 23 year old girlfriend. They've been together for 2 or 3 years now and have a 20 month old boy together. I think it's more common for a younger girl to be with an older guy since girls and guys mature at different ages with men generally taking longer.

  • do you hang out with him around guys his own age? any age?

    • never saw him around other guys but he's a pretty mature guy.

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    • yeah, I understand that. that's essentially why I asked the question.

    • tell him you'd like to see him more often, that leaves the ball in his court. if he suggests a date or swapping numbers, you're golden.

  • Sure I like younger women too, though I worry that they are not in the stage of her life where she would want to settle down

    • i do want to settle down. and he is single too

  • yes with out any major social issues

  • i'm sure many girls would be okay with that

    • And they come looking for approval, because they know they have a problem...

  • I see nothing wrong with it.

  • Yes. I've done it.

  • Try it and see

  • My sister is 57 her husband is 68, they are happily married 36 years having 5 children.


What Girls Said 4

  • Heck yeah! I'm 22 and been with a guy who's 38. He's fantastic!

  • Yeah my last boyfriend was 5 years older, I've been with guys who are 7-8 years older, and the guy I'm currently dating is 10 years older. Been working out quite well for me (:

  • yes, look at he guy from the hangover

  • Hell yeah! I'm 23 and the guy I like is 38 so yeah its perfectly fine!