Why do Guys have to be so mean after a break up?

Ok so here is my deal. My ex and I just broke up well about two weeks ago. We have been together for 5 years. He has had good and bad times. I am 26 and he is 52. I have a daughter and he has 4 daughters. He is an attorney so he travels all the time so most of our problems were the lack of seeing each other. So in November he ended it because he was dealing with his children so I let him and it hurt. But in December he called Christmas night and told me that he tried not to love me and even went out with other girls and he said it didn't work and that he loved me too much. So in January we just couldn't get on the same page so I asked him if he thought that we should end it. He said for you yes. So he went to Hawaii because well he just finalized his divorce. I must tell you that he was separated and moved out and his ex was with someone else and they signed papers stating it was ok to see other people till they got the finances straightened out. Anyways he went to Hawaii to get away and to go to the pro- bowl he is a sports agent also. So he was so nice texting hey beautiful yada yada yada and on his way back home he tells me he never wants to see me again and the he doesn't see us getting together. No reason as to why and after 5 years I thought that the least he could do was tell me why. He refuses to call me and never has since then. He won't respond to my texts and I told him that I didn't want him back because we both deserve a healthy relationship but I didn't understand why he thought he as to be mean and act like we are in high school. He is too old to be acting this way. I think wow I'm crazy for dating a guy that is so much older than I but he doesn't look it and was sweet at one time. I do miss him but I'm staying busy and trying not to call. So why are guys so mean at this point? I have accepted it and I do not want him back but it would be nice to have a reason.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Just because he is older doesn't mean he is mentally mature and this guy doesn't sound he is. Every person is different and it could well be that's his way of dealing with breakups. A lot of girls do the same thing, so seems to be human nature when people are not mature enough to take responsibility for their actions.

    • I know this. But why do you think he would come back say I love you and just leave again? I'm confused. I love him and I'm sure he is with another women but I guess there is nothing I can do. Just hate he would not tell me why.

    • Well, I want to say he came back to you cause maybe he had another woman, that woman left, came back to you, found another woman, and left.

    • Very true! I'm realizing he is just a womanizer and I don't need it. Thanks for the help!

What Guys Said 2

  • He sounds quite bitter about the whole thing.


What Girls Said 2

  • Its his way of letting go. Its normal after a breakup to ignore the other person. It gives them closure. I would just ignore him. If he calls I would do the same that he is doing. You get over that person faster. Its the no contact rule. He knows it. He is doing it.

  • First of all you are so much younger......evil to say but use this to your advantage!!!!! If you were ever to see him again like going out to a friendly dinner, make sure to look your best, smile and act and sound like you are having the time of your life. Don't talk about feelings for him because then he will use that to his advantage. That will for sure get him thinking on what he is missing out. Then you just have to wait and see what happens.