Boyfriend has Borderline Personality Disorder and wants a "break" - now what?

My undiagnosed BPD boyfriend of 7 months and I got into a fight 2 weeks ago. It was a stupid argument that involved too much alcohol and a lot of... Show More

Most Helpful Guy

  • If he's not been formally diagnosed by a psychiatrist or other mental health professional, it's not BPD. However much you've read up on the subject, you are not qualified to diagnose medical conditions unless and until you are a licensed professional.

    And I wonder if you're a "fixer" who's found a project with this guy rather than dealing with your own issues. It is not your job or obligation to make anyone whole and healthy.

    All that being said, I have several family members (immediate and extended) with severe bi-polar disorder. I know first-hand the danger and chaos of that condition. Were I in your shoes, I'd be gone from this guy unless he a) gets formally diagnosed by a qualified medical professional; b) gets treatment and therapy, c) makes measurable progress. That's it. I'd tell him, "I love you, but I can't stay in this relationship unless you get treatment. Let me know when you decide what you're doing." Then walk out the door.