If he's not been formally diagnosed by a psychiatrist or other mental health professional, it's not BPD. However much you've read up on the subject, you are not qualified to diagnose medical conditions unless and until you are a licensed professional. And I wonder if you're a "fixer" who's found a project with this guy rather than dealing with your own issues. It is not your job or obligation to make anyone whole and healthy. All that being said, I have several family members (immediate and extended) with severe bi-polar disorder. I know first-hand the danger and chaos of that condition. Were I in your shoes, I'd be gone from this guy unless he a) gets formally diagnosed by a qualified medical professional; b) gets treatment and therapy, c) makes measurable progress. That's it. I'd tell him, "I love you, but I can't stay in this relationship unless you get treatment. Let me know when you decide what you're doing." Then walk out the door.
What he is saying seems pretty logical to me.
I think you should keep not contacting him because at this point he is going to take anything you say and possibly misinterpret it. He will come around when he will ask you a bunch of questions about you, meaning he gained some insight into his behavior and maybe realized he was being a bit selfish.Good luck!
Boyfriend has Borderline Personality Disorder and wants a "break" - now what?
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