Boyfriend has Borderline Personality Disorder and wants a "break" - now what?

My undiagnosed BPD boyfriend of 7 months and I got into a fight 2 weeks ago. It was a stupid argument that involved too much alcohol and a lot of misperceptions. He told me the next day he wanted some "space" but proceeded to text me every other day to let me know that he was "still alive" and... Show More

Most Helpful Guy

  • If he's not been formally diagnosed by a psychiatrist or other mental health professional, it's not BPD. However much you've read up on the subject, you are not qualified to diagnose medical conditions unless and until you are a licensed professional.

    And I wonder if you're a "fixer" who's found a project with this guy rather than dealing with your own issues. It is not your job or obligation to make anyone whole and healthy.

    All that being said, I have several family members (immediate and extended) with severe bi-polar disorder. I know first-hand the danger and chaos of that condition. Were I in your shoes, I'd be gone from this guy unless he a) gets formally diagnosed by a qualified medical professional; b) gets treatment and therapy, c) makes measurable progress. That's it. I'd tell him, "I love you, but I can't stay in this relationship unless you get treatment. Let me know when you decide what you're doing." Then walk out the door.