Premarital Sex: Pros & Cons

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 13 months, and we haven't had sex. We do just about everything else, but we haven't, because he said he wanted to wait for marriage and I agreed. Lately, he says it has really been eating at him, and he is extremely confused. I wish I could help, but, like I told him, it's something he is going to have to decide for himself. It's his body, his decision. He has been "researching" pros and cons of having premarital sex. (btw, we're both 20 and very responsible, logical thinkers, who love each other very much--so that's not the problem) The problem is, he is questioning whether there is a difference between what we do now, and having sex. I know that the differences are the risks, and sexual intercourse gives that special "bond" between two people who love each other very much. I told him I stand by his decision, 100% regardless of his decision. I told him simply to consider what's in his heart and what he, himself, truly thinks and feels about having premarital sex. Can someone help me out, by giving a non-biased pros and cons list? I've tried to find so many, but most of them either say wait, because it's wrong, or do it because it feels good. Please, I would really like to give him a better list of pros and cons, than what the rest of the biased internet has to say. And, please, no biased opinions.

Updates:
Well. He thought about it, without me saying anything one way or the other, and we made love. It was everything we thought it'd be and more! He said it was that one extra step he was glad he took because now he's sure I'm the one. YAY!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I have only had sex with 2 men in my life. One who is my husband is luckily a wonderful lover. The other man was a horrible lover. If I had not had sex with my husband first ( my husband was my first but we broke up awhile before getting back together) I would not know how great it could be. I would personally encourage anyone to have sex before marriage ( responsibly of course). It is important to have a satisfying love life for your marriage to work and how are you going to know if it will be any good without trying it out first. You can say if you love someone the sex won't matter but I can assure you it does matter very much and love won't make up for the fact that you may never have an orgasm with the guy.

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