Premarital Sex: Pros & Cons

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 13 months, and we haven't had sex. We do just about everything else, but we haven't, because he said he wanted to wait for marriage and I agreed. Lately, he says it has really been eating at him, and he is extremely confused. I wish I could help, but, like I told him, it's something he is going to have to decide for himself. It's his body, his decision. He has been "researching" pros and cons of having premarital sex. (btw, we're both 20 and very responsible, logical thinkers, who love each other very much--so that's not the problem) The problem is, he is questioning whether there is a difference between what we do now, and having sex. I know that the differences are the risks, and sexual intercourse gives that special "bond" between two people who love each other very much. I told him I stand by his decision, 100% regardless of his decision. I told him simply to consider what's in his heart and what he, himself, truly thinks and feels about having premarital sex. Can someone help me out, by giving a non-biased pros and cons list? I've tried to find so many, but most of them either say wait, because it's wrong, or do it because it feels good. Please, I would really like to give him a better list of pros and cons, than what the rest of the biased internet has to say. And, please, no biased opinions.

Updates:
Well. He thought about it, without me saying anything one way or the other, and we made love. It was everything we thought it'd be and more! He said it was that one extra step he was glad he took because now he's sure I'm the one. YAY!
 

What's Your Opinion?

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Most Helpful Opinion

  • I have only had sex with 2 men in my life. One who is my husband is luckily a wonderful lover. The other man was a horrible lover. If I had not had sex with my husband first ( my husband was my first but we broke up awhile before getting back together) I would not know how great it could be. I would personally encourage anyone to have sex before marriage ( responsibly of course). It is important to have a satisfying love life for your marriage to work and how are you going to know if it will be any good without trying it out first. You can say if you love someone the sex won't matter but I can assure you it does matter very much and love won't make up for the fact that you may never have an orgasm with the guy.

What Guys Said 4

  • if your blowing the dude that still counts as sex

  • Pro: Psychology defines it as a basic "need" and it feels good.Con: Chances are you won't spend the rest of your life with him (if you're worried about that)Con: eventually both of you will get curious about how other sex with other people is different, one of you will dump the other or cheat. Or you will let each other have sex with another person and live happily ever after.

    • Probably not, I'm the guy who is into sex without commitment.

    • I agree!!

  • Pro: you get to have sexCon: I can't think of any.

    • Nice---

  • Everyone is going to be biased. All you can do is listen to both sides and make up your own decision.My wife and I both waited until we were married. It was as fulfilling as I expected, perhaps more so having waited. Yes, waiting is hard, but for us the benefits were worth it. It is so nice to be together and know we aren't being compared to any past partners. We have had the chance to figure sex out together.

    • After thinking about it more, I really don't care what the stats are. My Christian upbringing made an impact on me and my life, so I'm sticking with that. It certainly doesn't do the same for everyone, that much is true.

    • This is common knowledge; Google will find dozens of sources. Church membership and voting Republican correlate strongly with teen pregnancy and divorce. New England & surrounding areas have the lowest rates of both.http://www.usnews.com/health/articles/2009/01/08/teen-birthrates-where-does-your-state-rank.htmlhttp://www.divorcereform.org/94staterates.html

    • Source?

    • Show Older

What Girls Said 2

  • PRO: you experience lots of sex!CON: you don't experience sex!Lesson learned: EXPERIENCE SEX!

  • well have you guys thought about maybe helping eat other out with maturbation

    • Look, if you're already doing everything but that, don't you think the point is kind of moot anyway?One could argue that if he wore a condom, technically he's not touching you any differently than say him fingering you while you give him oral. I was raised similarly, but around the time I was 20 I started having sex. Was it right? (shrug) You'll have to decide that for yourselves. My feeling is that if you're worried about what Jesus would think of you, That ship has already sailed.

    • Well then its all in his hands talk about the things that would/could probably change between you guys and see where that teaks you guys

    • We do all of that...that's not the issue...it's not just having sex to "get off"...we do that regardless to each other. The thing is...we both feel that because it is such a special bond, he feels he would rather have that bond now, than later. Because, when two people really love each other, and they make love for the first time, they become something special...they become one heart, one soul.

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