Why do guys give it up so easily? It's just like one click of a button and you are turned on!

I’m a virgin and I really honestly wouldn’t mind having a guy that’s a virgin also………….so are their guys out there that would prefer having a girl that's a virgin and are their guys out their that are a virgins I think I may have ran into 2 so far……its really sad to me it seems like guys really don't care!


Most Helpful Guy

  • I had a girlfriend who was a "virgin" but she loved to flirt and drive men crazy with desire. Her virginity just made her more stuck up. She was much more of a slut than girls who had sex in private in my opinion for the way she tried to use her sexuality as a bargaining chip and a sort of carrot to dangle in front of men. She is a particular basket case I am not saying all over 18 virgins are like her or really encouraging anyone to lose their virginity just saying I lost my respect for virgin "good girls" to be honest. I don't really have a problem with actual virgins just with people who carry their V card around as a point of pride and wave it around like they are better than anyone else and everyone else is lower for participating in something natural and enjoyable. Often these virgins are more sex obsessed than those that actually have sex. I mean I suppose I did try to have sex with my ex girlfriend but It was because I knew we were both gonna lose it eventually and I wanted it to be together with my first love with the girl I had danced with and held hands with in 7th grade, it's was the same dream you have but I knew that it would be too late someday. Now I have lost mine and she probably has too with some guy she hardly knows who probably doesn't even care about her and didn't even try to make it special. Have I engaged in some casual sex yeah but its not like that's what I prefer. I don't know where the stereotype that woman are all about relationships and commitment and men only sex, sometimes its the other way around, I have been ready to "commit" and been rejected a lot for better or for worse, who really knows. I think a lot of men out there on the look for a one night stand had a dream of a true romantic love that fell apart, sure maybe it was his fault that's not really my point. I guess I am far off of your topic. But I want to ask you a question what is so great about being a virgin? Is sex bad? Isn't it ironic you are on the look for virgin men. You are looking to get laid. What is it I "don't care" about exactly? Honestly men are a big part of the problem here too because a lot of men also value female virginity as special. But this seems like some male hypocrisy and maybe even a bit of a pedophilism. Why do you want a guy who seeks out a virgin, who wants to deflower a maiden, sure its an age old male fantasy but its not a very pretty one. like I said if he's an adult it seems a bit on the pedophile side. it strikes me an intelligent mans sexual fantasy is about a woman who knows what she's doing, sorry if it seems romance is dead in me. It sort of is but love isn't I can love someone that's what's really important. For all your virgin chastity you are actually judging men not on their qualities as people but on something sex related. Sorry If my answer seems crazy and p*ssed off. Its not really directed at you just letting somethin out


What Guys Said 16

  • I tried for the longest time to stay a virgin, planned on waiting until marriage. My current girlfriend was very very persuasive though. Sometimes I regret it, I wanted to save it for a special day. I do plan to marry this girl in a few years, so it's not so bad. I was 23 when I lost my virginity, so I really did try and wait. My current girlfriend didn't try, and it bothers me. It bothers me that I gave it up. It bothers me that I'm not her first. But I love her, and I overlook these things.

  • Why should anyone care?

    And to tell you the truth. Sex is fun for most people (lets hope everyone), and therefore I'm going with the notion here that, sex with a virgin simply isn't going to be as fun as sex with someone more experienced.

    This is true, however, when an actual relationship begins this can be wrong.

    I started dating my girlfriend 2 years back, while she was a virgin, and now, she loves it more than I do, and she's realllyyy good now. I took a risk in being with her back then, but it pays off now.

  • It depends on the guy how fast he will give it up. You will find some virgins around your age, just might take a little more searching. I believe that in either gender would prefer the other to be a virgin.

  • I think your opinion of the importance of virginity should be elaborated on. I'm not a virgin, but I was in a very strong relationship with the same girl (who I am still with) for nearly two years. I personally disapprove of sleeping with anyone girl willing to open her legs for you, but I am willing to have sex with someone that I truly love. Does that mean that I gave it up easily? I don't regret losing my virginity to her.

    As for being turned on, that's a completely different issue. Guys don't operate like girls do. For girls, they have to get in the mood and get wet before they actually enjoy sex. For guys, they have to get a boner, which is all of 5 seconds of being aroused. That isn't about guys being easy, that's just biology.

    There are also social factors that very much influence guys to be experienced. First of all, men are pretty much responsible for making sex "good". If the woman isn't pleased, it's the man's fault, and he's a failure. As such, experience is necessary to do a good job. Also, there's a common social double standard that exists in favor of women. If a woman in a relationship is not in the mood for sex, then she is encouraged to stand up for herself and say no. If a man in a relationship is not in the mood, then he is looked down upon and told to "man up and please her". This situation could cause guys who aren't ready for sex to go through with it so the woman will stay satisfied in a relationship.

    There's a lot more to sex than just looking around for every chick to bang within a five mile radius.

    • Damn you beat me to this answer. Especially to the first paragraph. If I'm a virgin, and I give it up to the girl I love (or believe I love), does that mean I gave it up that easy? A backfire question: when you give up YOUR virginity to your boyfriend (who I assume you will be in love with), and he was a virgin as well, does that mean you and him gave it up too easily?

    • I think if the woman sucks the sex will be bad no matter how good the guy is.. I am not aware of this common understanding that men are responsible for good sex^ I hear a lot of people criticizing both men & woman forbad se, I think it really depends more on the level of trust & the relationship, rather then skill per se - you can learn A LOT when inspired ^

      Just my thought.

  • i lost it to my wife so nether of us had another person. What I can say was there was nothing like being inside her tight p**** when we first started having sex.

  • virginity is like meditation!

    u need patience and strength to make it

    u can loose it wen you want

    but remember you can't regain it again

    think wen you loose

    let the taker deserve!

  • What is tough to hold breath or to breath rapidly. The answer is clear, so having sex is easy and cheap(morally) before marriage only a strong and confident person can boast of virginity as it's a great quality anyone will look for in his or her life partner there should be something special for the person who will vow a life long relationship rather than the one hanging out wid you and virgins are not fools they are people wid greater self confidence and will power who don't need to remove their pants to get love and recognition.

  • those guys have no honor nor respect for someone's future wife

    • The important thing is to have respect for the girl, not for the "future wife".

  • It is our biology and how the human race has evolved. women carry babies, and raise them, and therefore sex has a much heavier consequences for women than men. men, however, are biologically designed to spread our seed to propogate the entire species, so the way we have evolved is optimal to do that. we get turned on in a snap so the species can survive, we are turned on by physical features because we propogate the species by choosing a mate with optimal genes based on appearancce, and we jump into sex whenever we can becasue our developed psychology tells us it is right. women are more reluctant because not only are the consequences carrying a baby for 9 months, they have to raise the baby and know they are going to need help if they do so, so want to be sure the guy they are having sex with is good enough for that job. also, society judges women who are loose with sex, becuase of developed gender roles in contemporary society. its very complicated, and most men/women just judge the way each others' minds and bodies work when it comes to sex, but it's all about the survival of the species. we may never fully understand each other as genders, but if we hadn't adapted, developed, and evolved to be EXACTLY the way we are (both men AND women), the species wouldn't have been able to survive the way it has.

    • Excellent answer!

    • If woman need a mate, & men spread their seed, then exactly how do the men decide which woman to 'mate' with?

      If they are out there sowing their wild oats everywhere , why would a woman have a built in desire to CHOOSE a mate as she isn't getting one- no ore than jacky jill jane Jenifer, jodie jamie lioness's over their in the other caves are...

      There s wanting to impregnate with someone healthy - it how could it also be for a mate- by your argument?.

    • If women are biologically designed to be careful,because not ALL guys are reliable - why are ANY not getting too many women pregnant who will have no one to help.

      if a guy is spreading and jetting what dif does it make what kind of personality he has?

      plus we are way more then our instinct-thats why/how we are not all p*ssing on the street when we feel the 'need' to relieve ourselves.& if guys think its normal, why do they call themselves assholes for doing it to many dif women @ one time period?

  • it really matter for me who I sleep with I don't want a girl who has been sleeping with a bunch of men come sleeping with me that is like penis to penis ieww I hate that.

  • there are plenty of guys with standards and values out there. I wonder this same thing about women

  • Im actually a virgin and I'm 20, I'm looking for the same in a female but its pretty slim pickings these days :(

  • I prefer having a girl that's a virgin but would still want to be with her if she's not. Unfortunately, in today's society; it seems a male isn't considered a true man until he's lost his virginity. Even if he's mature, takes responsibility for his own actions, etc..

  • Guys don't care cause nothing happens to us. We don't have to deal with child birth, going around with baby in our stomach, or care about being called names like slut or hoe. To tell you the truth I am a virgin. I have lived this long without sex. I know some day I will do it, but when I feel like it. I am not saying I don't care about sex, but its not the most important thing to me. And when you said "its really sad to me it seems like guys really don't care!" it makes me a little angry that you look down on us so much. You have things you care about and don't care about we have ours. Don't center your world around "oh that guy wants sex" or "she wants it". Its not the only thing people think about. And yes some guys prefer a virgin girl.

    • Out of curiosity, what are some things other then sex that YOU care about?

      & In al that time you were a virgin, did you do OTHER things, & were you really not frustrated & do you think you would have been more frustrated if you had had SOME sex, then stopped?

    • Wow I like that it spoke to me

  • the only reason you think virginity is of any value is because that's what you've been told--by clergy, school, or parents, most likely. The reason most guys don't care is that they aren't quite as gullible, on average.

    • I agree with the first part but I don't think girls are any more gullible than guys...thats kinda harsh considering that almost every society places more importance/value on female virginity while male virginity is virtually overlooked.

    • So stand up to society. I do.

What Girls Said 7

  • 1) in the male community, you aren't a man if you're a virgin. That's not something guys brag about and it's even started trickling over to us women, because now girls are losing their virginity to not feel left out.

    2) Guys just really aren't that picky when it comes to sex, for the most part. Not saying that guys will screw anything, but guys will have sex with many of the girls they've met and will meet, given the right circumstances.

  • i know some guys who are in their 20's and still virgins and they would prefer a woman who is stilla virgin to so the girl doesn't say he's bad in bed since its his first time, my friend is 23 and dating a 19 year old boy and she was his first he was her second, she said she lies virgin they have an innocence about them and she knows they have stds

  • There are guys who are virgins but they keep it a secret because society pushes people to be what it wants and it's not looked at well by some girls. The decision to have sex should be a personal one.

  • I think guys do care, they are just more pressured into having sex than girls are.

  • I recently lost my virginity to this guy who I am crazy about who has fallen in love with me but I'm not in love with him. I was just 22 and tired of being a virgin. I didn't save my virginity for any reason I just never met the right person before him. Thinking back on it...i'm really glad that I let him be my first because he didn't even want to be.. He kept telling me I'd waited this long I should wait for marriage. He lost his virginity when he was 15 and hadnt been with a virgin since. But marriage today isn't as sure a thing as in the past so what I i did save it for marriage and then my husband ended up cheating on me or hurting me...i'm glad I made this decision because I feel more empowered now as a woman and as a person. So I would say that I think you should hold onto your virginity until you are ready to let it go...the decision will be pretty easy when that time comes and hopefully you won't have any regrets.

  • I was a virgin until just recently and being with my boyfriend has taught me a lot about guys...this is just my pov on the matter and what I have learned from personal experience: girls tend to be turned on more slowly because its an emotional process as well as a physical one...with guys its much more physical: as my boyfriend says "it has a mind of its own" But like I said that's just him.

  • I know you would like to have a guy who is a virgin but if you were in a realationship with a guy who has had experience he is less likly to hurt you when you are finally with someone