Should I Tell My Mom I Was Sexually Abused By My Father?

Ok, So I Am Almost Turning 21. In My Life I Have Been Molested Twice. . Once By My Uncle And Once By My Father. These Both Happened When I Was... Show More

Updates:
As I Read Through Your Comments Id Like To Thank All Who Wrote Them. . . Ugh I Can't Help But To Cry. I Feel That I Can Never Be At Peace With What Happened Until My Mother Knows . . . They Have Been Married Almost 21 Years. . Do I Break That?
I Don't Understand Why Its Effecting Me So Much Right Now. . I Mean I Have Times Through Out My Life Since Then Where It Has But I Dunno. . . I'm Just Sick About It All . . . I Wish I Would Have Told Her Then . . .
So I Was Talking To My Best Friend About This Today. She Brought Up Good Points. This Could Turn On Me In So Many Ways. My Mom Could Resent Me For Telling Her Even Though Something Like This Wasn't My Fault But It Ruined Her Life By Me Telling Her.
All My Mom Has Is My Dad And Me. I Have No Siblings. She Would Most Likely Loose Our House. . . And They Would Divorce. That Doesn't Bother Me So Much The Divorce Part. My Father Doesn't Make My Mom Happy. Which Pushes Me More To Say Something.
He Is A Pothead. An Alcoholic. He Only Seems To Care About His Habits. He Works Graveyards So When He Isn't Working He Is Sleeping All The Time. He Is Extremely Lazy. So All This Makes Me Wonder If I Would Be Giving My Mom The Break She Needs That Push
To Leave And Be Happy To Have A Better Life. But I Just Keep Thinking About It And I Almost Wonder If More Bad Things Would Come Out Of It Than Good. :( I Stayed Up Most The Night Crying Talking With A Friend. . Its Getting To The Point I'm Feeling
Uncomfortable Around Him Now. Just Cause Its Been On My Mind. My Friend Also Stated Should I Confront Him Myself?
I Don't Doubt That My Mom Would Not Believe Me If I Told Her. I'm Her Only Child, And Only Child She Will Ever Have. I Feel That She Will Be Hurt In More Than One Way And She Will Loose SO Much. . . She Would Be Destroyed I Just Don't know If I Could
Stand Knowing I'm The Reason Why Her World Was Turned Upside Down And Crushed. . . Maybe I Should Just Keep It To Myself And Get Some Professional Help Until A Better Opportunity Comes Along? . . . I've Dealt With It This Far. . . I Dunno. . . Ugh.
So I Found Out Today That When This All Went Down My Father Was Doing Meth. . . Ha.

Nice Right?
I Still Have Not Been Able To Tell My Mother... There Is Just So Much Going On In Our Lives And I Can't Bare To Even Try. I Wish It Was Easier...
Still haven't brought myself you say anything... the urge to tell went away a bit until a few months ago. I still want her to know, even more so now. a few weeks ago my father went into my room & through my drawers. The way that I found out was because he took a video from my drawers, please keep in mind I am 22 years old and there is no reason for him to be going in my room or in my stuff, even more so my underwear drawer. I felt so violated, physically sick and disgusted. I am so torn.
I feel as though I have waited way to long to say anything and that I'm conflicted, stuck between a rock and a hard place. I have the need to just tell someone ... anyone... but I want them to know me... Know my family and be close! To understand and see maybe even feel how I'm feeling in a sense...

Most Helpful Opinion

  • I feel really sad for you. With the way your dad is, your mom could probably find someone much better. I don't know if he is a violent type of alcoholic but tell your mom what happened between you and your uncle wasn't the first time and that it happened from someone else and before telling her who it is; remind her not to directly confront him if he is physically abusive. If she immediately rushes at him yelling, he may lash out. I wouldn't confront him yourself for you safety. Tell her and ask if there is any friends you both can stay with in case staying at the house is not safe. I don't want to scare you but it's hard to tell how he might react if he knows other people know. If your mom knows this then, like you said, she may get the push needed to leave this pathetic man and find a better person for both her AND you! She may be able to finally say she wants a divorce. Nothing is more precious to a mother than her child. If you tell her, I'm sure she'd rather leave him to protect you than to keep you in constant misery. I'll try to reply again tomorrow when I have a clearer head (very tired). This is very serious and I hope more people will take some time to help you out.