My boyfriend lost his sex drive?

So we are together little under a year. Up until now our sex life was great - 3 times day. We experimented a lot, tried different things... all in all I couldn't ask for more. Every time he touched me he'd get turned on. But now it's like he doesn't even think about sex when I'm around! I tried throwing myself at him, walking around barely dressed and nothing. I talked to him about it and he just avoided the subject saying that you can't have sex that much and teasing me that I'm too needy. I have never heard of a girl having this problem. I know sometimes it's the other way around. I really need a lot of sex and this is beginning to ruin my relationship. Has he gotten bored/used to me? Am I not that attractive all of a sudden? I thought it would be best to ask the guys themselves what could be the reason. Thanks.

 

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Most Helpful Opinion

  • Well, even though you seem to be a dream of every guy, it's not so simple.

    You have a favorite meal? What happens when you eat it the whole month (or year?), 3 times a day? You become sick of it. You can't even look at it. You could eat everything just not that "ex-favorite" meal.

    The same with sex. Take a break. I know, at first it seems hard, but try it. And don't even talk about that. After few days, he will get back to you wild thirsty for sex.

    • That's how we are. Best of luck. Oh, I forgot to mention - if he doesn't want sex for about a week, consider that something's wrong...

    • Yeah you have a point there. It's just that it happened all of a sudden and I was like "whoa smth is wrong". I guess I'll make him beg for it now. I don't know what is it with you guys but knowing you can't touch something gets you really excited.

What Guys Said 2

  • You sound like my girlfriend!

    It actually gets on my nerves when she pops out of the shower with no clothes on. I know she's trying to hint around (in a blunt way). I actually feel guilty for not just saying "Okay, lets do it." But I'm honestly not turned on by her just walking around with nothing on. It takes a little more than that.

    Reminds me of when I was younger. I was a walking hard-on. Drove every girl I dated crazy, because I ALWAYS wanted sex and they didn't. Now, it's a total role reversal.

    Is your boyfriend on any medications? Like anxiety meds, depression meds, ADD meds? Those can influence sex drive considerably.

    Part of my problem is an SSRI that I'm on. I'm just "Okay" with everything. Not very high highs, and not very low lows. The good news is that I last a LOT longer in bed!

    Another part of the problem is that we're around each other a LOT. Pretty much living together, even though we still have separate residences. Spending more time apart, with friends, or whatever, would help some there.

    Another part of the problem is that we've been together for a year. Haven't been in a relationship that long in a while.

    Another part of the problem is that she's CONSTANTLY begging for attention. I'm not a fan of PDA, at ALL, but she won't keep her hands off of me in public. BIG TURN OFF. At home she's always asking "Do you like me any more," and "Are you tired of me," etc. BIG TURN OFF. Just relax, hun!

    Is your boyfriend under a lot of stress? I'm under a mountain of financial stress right now. I noticed that, when I make progress, get money out of someone who owes me, etc., I'm a lot more sexual.

    I've made some suggestions to her. Mostly hinting around about spicing things up, getting a little kinky, etc. Work up to it versus having it thrown in my face (I know, I sound like a chick).

    I think that spicing things up a bit would help a lot. Thrown in a porn instead of watching a movie. Bring out some toys when you lay down to sleep. Indulge in some of his fantasies.

    Regardless, it's not going to be like it was in the beginning. New, Fresh, Fun, Exciting. That's life, though. I believe you CAN make it better than it is. You might want to focus on being more subtle, catch him at the right time.

    Back to the questions: I doubt you have become less attractive unless there has been a substancial physical change. Has anything changed with respect to your behavior? Are you in fact being NEEDY? This can be a big turn off. My advice would be to relax, enjoy your life, lower your expectations from him for a while to let the pressure off of him.

    Bored? Possibly. More time apart (three nights a week instead of seven) make make you two appreciate the time together more. I know I get turned on when I'm away from my girlfriend just thinking about what we did the night before!

    I'm going to continue thinking about this...

  • Well now 3 times a day every day will tire a guy out! Couple times a week is a good amount to aim for. So if he s stil interested like that I really don't see a problem, but if he is not into youat all then there might be more issues. Everyones drive is a little different, if you can't make a good compromise it might just be best to go seperate ways. Like the guy before me you do sound like most mens dream woman tough!

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