How can I REALLY please my husband?

I have recently gotten married and our relationship is great but the one thing I am worried about is the sex department. I lost my virginity to my husband so I have no experience prior to him. When we are having sex he says its good but I can tell by his body language that he's not that into it. I'm willing to try new things but he's not willing to teach because he says I'm doing OK. But I want to be GREAT not just OK. So I need some advice on what kinda things I should try for my husband to really enjoy sex. And any advice will be greatly appreciated:)


Most Helpful Guy

  • Relax.. most important advice I can give.

    If you relax, he will too. Then you can just go wild with your imagination (though, discuss anything with him before hand if your imagination has fetishes).

    Great love making is about two things, actually being in love (your married I so you should both have that) and expressing that love.

    All sex is AMMAZNIG if bother partners are relaxed and both find each other sexy.

    So, build the tension, wear your sexiest outfit (but, clearly just for him). True sexy is built in parts, start small, and raise the stakes slowly. If you having him near begging to **** you your doing it right.

    Its called a climax for a reason :)

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What Guys Said 38

  • Let me tell you something I never figured out until I was divorced...

    1) Most of your sex life happens on your feet. The intimacy you share out side of the bedroom become realized in the bedroom. If you're both great partners through out your day (hugging, holding hands, etc) then your sex life will usually reflect this. Most couples who "make love on their feet" will make transition to the bedroom quite well.

    This means that if there's problems in the bedroom, it's because they're problems outside the bedroom. So keep an eye on this part of your relationship the most!

    2) Everyone expresses their "mascluine" and "feminie" energies in different ways, but men mostly express the "masculine" and women the "feminine"

    When you come to understand these two energies it's easy to see what most women want and what most men want.

    The "masculine" desires freedom, release, completion. Masculine people solving puzzles, they like meditation, they like the outcome. Managers, lawyers, athletes.

    The "feminine" desires the process, the drama, the 'ever changing.' Feminine people like being filled up with ideas, with love, with drama. Like the weather their feelings are every changing and flowing. Actors, musicians, designers, mothers, etc.

    Read anything by David Deida to fully appreciate this stuff.

    This is why most women like the process of sex (the feeling of being desired, the feeling of being filled up with love, etc) while most men desire the outcome (release, being emptied out, the silence of a mini-death)

    This this knowledge you might start to appreciate that your husband isn't always seeking deep intimacy in the bedroom, he's just seeking the pleasure of release that only you can offer him.

    His appreciation might be for the orgasm and love you offer, not the long-drawn out process of elaborate sexual positions. The masculine wants release. The feminine wants the drama and dance of the act of sex.

    But everyone expresses different levels of each energy, so it's up to you to decide where you husband sits on this scale - more masculine or more feminine.

    3) The greater your feminine and the greater his masculine the greater your sexual arc of attraction. Learn how to be ultra feminine, especially outside the bedroom, and you'll see his sexual desire dramatically climb.

    It's this tension between your feminine energy and his masculine energy that will dictate how powerful the sexual climax.

    I hope this helps,

    ~ Robby

    My Blog ( link )

  • Well, if you really want to please your husband, all you need to do is to follow these steps:

    1. First you need to get him turned on - be more aggressive, grab his stuff, slowly massage his balls through his pants, it's important that you act as seductive as possible - the more you're turned on - the more he'll be turned on. Pull his pants down slowly and act as naughty as possible - this is a great turn on.

    2. Grab his hand and lick on his fingers slowly before you give him head - just put his middle finger slowly into your mouth and suck on it, up and down, slide it slowly and moan - you have to moan a lot so he feels like a king.

    3. As you're licking one finger, slowly start stroking his shaft (penis) with your other hand, you have to be on your knees and he should be standing, look him in the eyes - this way you can see his reactions. You need to love giving him head if you want him to really enjoy it.

    4. Most girls make the mistake of being too soft - don't do that, grab his penis tightly and stroke it hard, as you're twisting his shaft with one hand slowly start sucking on the head (the tip) of his penis, curl your tongue around it, twist it in circles, then point it upwards and slowly lick it while you're watching him.

    5. Say something like "mmmmm I love it" then smile, smiling is very important - it conveys that you love it. Keep on stroking and sucking harder.

    6. Start talking dirty to him, put your hands around his balls and tickle them gently - make sure you are gentle 'cause his balls are very sensitive, as you're tickling, keep on stroking and sucking.

    7. Once you see that he's getting closer start stroking harder - and don't even think about slowing down. Scream at him, tell him you want it - tell him where you want it (swallowing will make him go crazy just as you want it) - then as he starts to come, you have 2 options - you can hold his penis or he can hold it - I suggest you let him hold it and squeeze it out.

    8. Then hold his penis and stroke it slowly, just as if you were trying to squeeze every last drop out of him into your mouth, give it a few more finishing licks.

    9. Then smile at him, open your mouth and show him what you've got in your mouth, smile, then swallow all of it - then look up at him again and open your mouth to show him it's gone. If you REALLY want to learn how to give a blow job then you have to read Jack's Blowjob Lessons ----> link

    10. Smile again, believe me he'll love you for it.

    Good luck

  • Read into Kama Sutra and will be a goddess if you can do everything in both books

  • I imagine when you first got together that things were passionate and intense.

    But as time passes, regular things seem to be quite repetitive.

    Part of being a male is fulfilling that need to exploration and conquering. When you're in a static relationship, sometimes the desire fades.

    Now to spice things up. Well being open and honest about interestes you have is the most important thing. BE VOCAL.. Let him know if you love handcuffs and spanks, or whatever fantasy you might have had but never participated in.

    this will allow you both something that you can explore together.

    Change up something about your appearance. A hair cut or color works. Wear make up if you don't and don't if you do. This triggers something in our minds that makes up curious about what's going on, it works I can attest to that.

    Make sex fun, not work. Seems simple, but most people treat sex as if its a required weekly activity. Make it spontaneous, and keep it new. Push each others fetishes try to broaden your sexual horizon.

    best of luck,


    • Thank you:)! I would choose you for best answer but I've already chosen one. But I did love your answer if that counts for anything:)

  • watch p*rn together, say oh that looks fun we should try that...seriously tho, its the only way you'll see what each other are into

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What Girls Said 13

  • Sex, and what one likes in bed are very important things to discuss. But you need to be specific because when asking general questions the guy maybe just give you a general answer. For example ask, "Did you like the way I licked your ____?" or "How did it feel when I moved my hips in a circular motion last night?" these should give you more ideas as to what he likes and is interested in. But you should also ask him what his sexual boundaries are. For example, Will he do bondage? Or are handcuffs his limit? Maybe even look into his porn collection if he has one, or rent a dirty movie and watch it together. Then discuss what you liked and disliked about it.

    I agree with surprise blowjobs. My man tends to get frustrated with his video games and whenever I see this... Surprise time~ When doing that though, becareful of your teeth! When I first went down on my guy it was fine, but when my mouth got tired my jaw closed a little more and the teeth scraped him slightly. He said it felt painful and that I just needed to work on altnerating between my hands and mouth so I don't hurt him. As well, try not to be as rough as some of those girls in porn, granted it all depends on his preference, so maybe be just as if not more rough. But ask him first! Good luck~

    • Thank you so much:)

    • You're welcome~ Another good idea is to determine whether he prefers visual or auditory stimulation. My guy needs to hear moaning and talking during sex or when watching a sex video. This can be easily determined by either moaning differently or louder, and possibly doing a strip tease or pleasuring yourself in front of him. Then at the end ask him to rate both acts on a scale of one to ten on how much he liked them. Or just ask which he preffered. Good luck~

  • From the back an forth down below I see that you've never given him a blowjob? You have to remedy that. I don't know of many men who would be satisfied without oral.

    The key there is to listen and really get yourself into it. Like make him tell you what feels good and then do it like there's nothing else you'd rather be doing in the whole world. Really make him realize how much you want to please him. It's a great way to make a guy feel wanted and appreciated and loved.

  • communication! talk to each other about what you want. my husband watched p*rn before he met me and he hasn't been with much women (like 2 before me) and well you wouldn't know it he's VERY good.

  • There are plenty of books on the subject, just go to your local library. Ask him to be more open and to give feedback, also watch his reactions while doing different things. Sex is very important in a marriage. It's good that you think about his pleasure.

  • :) if he is not willing to discuss it, then why worry about it?

    kif he has an interest he should help you out

    i would not stress over it THIS way, because now you are worried he is bored, next you will worry he is bored with the new stuff, make him talk to you about it this is not right , either you are reading things that are not there which is disrespectful towards him, or he is not being honest, which is disrespectful towards you :)

    • Well I don't think he has had any experience either but he's the type that don't want to admit things like that:)

    • Ohhh, I thought he had lots of experience, I get it a bit better now.. :)

      there are TONS of sights on the net about what to do...

      also you could get a kama sutra book, gives in depth info (THey SHOW YOU HOW)about all sorts of sexy things to do, but also just one this site (They show you how) just type in sex moves or sex advice or sexuality or something - thee will be no shortage I am sure :)

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