How can I REALLY please my husband?

I have recently gotten married and our relationship is great but the one thing I am worried about is the sex department. I lost my virginity to my husband so I have no experience prior to him. When we are having sex he says its good but I can tell by his body language that he's not that into it. I'm willing to try new things but he's not willing to teach because he says I'm doing OK. But I want to be GREAT not just OK. So I need some advice on what kinda things I should try for my husband to really enjoy sex. And any advice will be greatly appreciated:)


Most Helpful Guy

  • Relax.. most important advice I can give.

    If you relax, he will too. Then you can just go wild with your imagination (though, discuss anything with him before hand if your imagination has fetishes).

    Great love making is about two things, actually being in love (your married I so you should both have that) and expressing that love.

    All sex is AMMAZNIG if bother partners are relaxed and both find each other sexy.

    So, build the tension, wear your sexiest outfit (but, clearly just for him). True sexy is built in parts, start small, and raise the stakes slowly. If you having him near begging to **** you your doing it right.

    Its called a climax for a reason :)


What Guys Said 38

  • Let me tell you something I never figured out until I was divorced...

    1) Most of your sex life happens on your feet. The intimacy you share out side of the bedroom become realized in the bedroom. If you're both great partners through out your day (hugging, holding hands, etc) then your sex life will usually reflect this. Most couples who "make love on their feet" will make transition to the bedroom quite well.

    This means that if there's problems in the bedroom, it's because they're problems outside the bedroom. So keep an eye on this part of your relationship the most!

    2) Everyone expresses their "mascluine" and "feminie" energies in different ways, but men mostly express the "masculine" and women the "feminine"

    When you come to understand these two energies it's easy to see what most women want and what most men want.

    The "masculine" desires freedom, release, completion. Masculine people solving puzzles, they like meditation, they like the outcome. Managers, lawyers, athletes.

    The "feminine" desires the process, the drama, the 'ever changing.' Feminine people like being filled up with ideas, with love, with drama. Like the weather their feelings are every changing and flowing. Actors, musicians, designers, mothers, etc.

    Read anything by David Deida to fully appreciate this stuff.

    This is why most women like the process of sex (the feeling of being desired, the feeling of being filled up with love, etc) while most men desire the outcome (release, being emptied out, the silence of a mini-death)

    This this knowledge you might start to appreciate that your husband isn't always seeking deep intimacy in the bedroom, he's just seeking the pleasure of release that only you can offer him.

    His appreciation might be for the orgasm and love you offer, not the long-drawn out process of elaborate sexual positions. The masculine wants release. The feminine wants the drama and dance of the act of sex.

    But everyone expresses different levels of each energy, so it's up to you to decide where you husband sits on this scale - more masculine or more feminine.

    3) The greater your feminine and the greater his masculine the greater your sexual arc of attraction. Learn how to be ultra feminine, especially outside the bedroom, and you'll see his sexual desire dramatically climb.

    It's this tension between your feminine energy and his masculine energy that will dictate how powerful the sexual climax.

    I hope this helps,

    ~ Robby

    My Blog ( link )

  • Well, if you really want to please your husband, all you need to do is to follow these steps:

    1. First you need to get him turned on - be more aggressive, grab his stuff, slowly massage his balls through his pants, it's important that you act as seductive as possible - the more you're turned on - the more he'll be turned on. Pull his pants down slowly and act as naughty as possible - this is a great turn on.

    2. Grab his hand and lick on his fingers slowly before you give him head - just put his middle finger slowly into your mouth and suck on it, up and down, slide it slowly and moan - you have to moan a lot so he feels like a king.

    3. As you're licking one finger, slowly start stroking his shaft (penis) with your other hand, you have to be on your knees and he should be standing, look him in the eyes - this way you can see his reactions. You need to love giving him head if you want him to really enjoy it.

    4. Most girls make the mistake of being too soft - don't do that, grab his penis tightly and stroke it hard, as you're twisting his shaft with one hand slowly start sucking on the head (the tip) of his penis, curl your tongue around it, twist it in circles, then point it upwards and slowly lick it while you're watching him.

    5. Say something like "mmmmm I love it" then smile, smiling is very important - it conveys that you love it. Keep on stroking and sucking harder.

    6. Start talking dirty to him, put your hands around his balls and tickle them gently - make sure you are gentle 'cause his balls are very sensitive, as you're tickling, keep on stroking and sucking.

    7. Once you see that he's getting closer start stroking harder - and don't even think about slowing down. Scream at him, tell him you want it - tell him where you want it (swallowing will make him go crazy just as you want it) - then as he starts to come, you have 2 options - you can hold his penis or he can hold it - I suggest you let him hold it and squeeze it out.

    8. Then hold his penis and stroke it slowly, just as if you were trying to squeeze every last drop out of him into your mouth, give it a few more finishing licks.

    9. Then smile at him, open your mouth and show him what you've got in your mouth, smile, then swallow all of it - then look up at him again and open your mouth to show him it's gone. If you REALLY want to learn how to give a blow job then you have to read Jack's Blowjob Lessons ----> link

    10. Smile again, believe me he'll love you for it.

    Good luck

  • Read into Kama Sutra and will be a goddess if you can do everything in both books

  • I imagine when you first got together that things were passionate and intense.

    But as time passes, regular things seem to be quite repetitive.

    Part of being a male is fulfilling that need to exploration and conquering. When you're in a static relationship, sometimes the desire fades.

    Now to spice things up. Well being open and honest about interestes you have is the most important thing. BE VOCAL.. Let him know if you love handcuffs and spanks, or whatever fantasy you might have had but never participated in.

    this will allow you both something that you can explore together.

    Change up something about your appearance. A hair cut or color works. Wear make up if you don't and don't if you do. This triggers something in our minds that makes up curious about what's going on, it works I can attest to that.

    Make sex fun, not work. Seems simple, but most people treat sex as if its a required weekly activity. Make it spontaneous, and keep it new. Push each others fetishes try to broaden your sexual horizon.

    best of luck,


    • Thank you:)! I would choose you for best answer but I've already chosen one. But I did love your answer if that counts for anything:)

  • watch p*rn together, say oh that looks fun we should try that...seriously tho, its the only way you'll see what each other are into

  • Fuck him, suck him, and occasionally make him a sandwich.

  • First of all maybe he does think you're doing ok and is liking it but you're just reading him wrong. It's very very very easy for girls to underestimate how direct and upfront guys are. He might just be saying what he means and you're just not believing him.

    Assuming you're right though, basically the one thing all guys love is getting their d*** sucked, and it's even better if you deepthroat and swallow. If you aren't good at it (all non-teethy bj's are good but there's a lot of technique involved to make them great), tell him you want to get better and he'll be fine giving you more experience.

    Also as you might've noticed guys jack off a lot, which means guys have a lot of fantasies, which means guys have a lot of unfulfilled fantasies, which means the key to giving any guy the night of his life is literally doing whatever he wants and pretending to love every minute of it. There's probably a half and half chance it's going to sound more than weird to you though, so be ready (and make sure he knows you won't hold anything against him).

    And hey props for wanting to please your husband. Good luck.

  • I've read some of these solutions, saw your photo & past questions. Taking inspiration from your sex coupon book and noting no BJ experience (at that time), while trying to cook up something fresh ... I have basically two leads to follow for his next Bday in 3 months.

    1. One of those sex coupons is a "blank check" he can "cash" for any type sex that hits his fancy, anything goes. Your only reservations are a) you get a "safe word" for release or ending, b) you have sufficient time off from work/etc. & limit playtime to 75 minutes.

    2. Research Literotica stories for bedtime inspirations or simply read favorites in bed.

  • Learn how to give him expert oral sex. Easy to find on the net. Gotta take it all the way, so learn about the taste and texture so you can manage it when it happens. Let him know you have learned about by reading online to head off any suspicion you are with anyone else. There's some good AV to show how its done well. Here's one. Hopefully they will let me post this link.


  • I agree with the other posters.

    Possibly get a book with sexual positions such as the Kama Sutra or any book along those lines or even the sex cards.

    Also, if you want to try to avoid doing the same thing twice and see how many different ideas you two can come up with remember he's you're partner so he's just as responsible for the fun as you.

    Relax and just try to have fun with each other and not worry.

    Ask lot's of questions about what he liked that you did (Like the other poster said ask specific questions i.e. "Did you like the way I was grinding on your d***?" Or "what was your favorite thing I did when I was giving you that bj?") Ask him what his favorite positions are and what about them he likes.

  • Your very attractive so I doubt that's a factor. The most important thing for me is that whoever I'm with should be enjoying it. Does he get you off? If your not enjoying it, he probably isn't. Be assertive, tell him you want him to go down on you and make it clear when you are enjoying it. Use your own fingers to get him settled in the right area and rhythym. Pull you lips apart so he knows where to put his face

  • Give him a BJ and then turn into a pepperoni pizza and a four pack of beer.

  • I'm pretty sure you're doing enough, no reason to worry or give it much if any stress.

  • Check out the swinging lifestyle. You can find a club in your area at nasca dot com. Your best strategy is to just dance and mingle at clubs for several months before taking the big step and having a 4 way. DO NOT go to any private house parties until you have taken the time to learn slowly and become comfortable. If the 2 of you do decide to get involved with swinging then you will have all the trump cards in your hand, and you can write your own ticket.

  • your a great wife with that attitude you guys will last forever really now here's some things to figure out before hand

    how good are your blowjobs?

    what positions are you open too/not open too?

    and MAINLY where do you let or want him to cum?

    to please me ( same as any other guy) id first say I love when my girl can just go to town and suck me off generally sloppy sort of nasty fast paced intense kinky sexual head is the best if you don't do it now...DO IT deepthroat is you can go to town just go crazy with it itll blow him away

    next what positions are you into if you don't do many take charge order kama sutra book doggy style ride hime reverse cowgirl ride him misionsary and in that book or google sex positions you'll find a thousand other crazy interesting sexy ones

    also if you don't or hadn't done anal be open to it if he likes it you might be into it to

    MAINLY where does he come TAKE YOUR MANS CUM if you don't already...swallow it hold it in your mouth show him play with it then swallow let him come on your face, t*ts, ass, vqgina, or on your toung because that will just put him over edge

    trust me on these things do it only problem is you'll have to figure out a way to fend him off because hell be wanting it 239483 times a day

  • I have been with a lot of women who just sit there during sex. The best experiance I've had was when a woman wrapped her legs around my hips and dug her nails into my back while passionately kissing me. Make him feel like you want his body too.

    • Wow...insightful. I'm always afraid of my nails hurting my hubby. Guess he'd think it was worth it huh? LOL

  • start with role play, or ask him if he wants to try something different. if you live in an area where you can walk nude about the time he gets home try that , or greet him at the door nude.

    if not, wake him up by giving him head. OR try getting it on someplace semi public.

    or if he talks about work, one day wear a skirt with nothing under and ask him about his day, let him talk abut the how boring it was then pull his pants down and sit on him. are you are talker during sex? Make more pleasing moans.

    When I was married my wife was screamer, almost made me deaf, sure the neighbors heard her. I liked it because I KNEW she was having a good time, (for me that's what I like)

    • Thank you very much:)!!

  • You should suit down with him and try to get him to have an open honest conversation about his likes and dislikes in the bedroom. Don't be afraid to tell him about a fetish or fantasy you would like to try, a lot of times that will make him open up and share his own. Don't be scared to try something new, The most sensitive place on most men is the head of his penis, around the anal area which a lot are afraid to admit.

  • Some of us just aren't that into sex. It may be just as simple as that.

  • wow I'm please just by looking at you lol seriously now, maybe be more dominant, like be more sexual. Be like "oohhh I want to suck that motherf***ing **** you son of a bitch." lol Instead of doggy style or missionary, sit on him and f*** him. Do some stripper moves etc. Very naughty etc. ya know lol hell tie him up even LOL. But really id love something like that. All in all I could say even before this he might not like sex much, I mean who knows?

  • Read up on the Mulan Rouge.Try to learn what known as the can can dance it a form of seduction and invitation, kinda like the belly dance.Another this is communication,by some sex technique DVD's and practice together or watch them when he is not around and at night unease your inner Sex Goddess.

  • suck on it, go on top alot, guys love that =) I dooooooooooooo! lol..and you fuuck it. don't let him fukk u. get it? that's what I likeee :p

  • just put his **** in your p**** and he will love it or let him have anal sex with you

  • Porn watch some porn best place to learn it but it would be better to just ask about He's fantasies an oral sex every man I know off loves it unless they never got one or thinks it gross but it al some to me an a lot of guy love it an put some attitude into sexing him up but before you try anything ask him if he would like to try an tell him where you got the idea because I would be confused if my girl went from newbie to pro in one night

    • Bad stars are NOT normal.

      What matters is what the two of you enjoy and agree to. Sex should be fun for both. I think Robby said it best. It's about what goes on outside the bedroom first. Also realize that men and women see the reasons for sex differently. Marriages are always a work in progress....but the fringe benefits are wonderful. ;-)

  • Try dressing the part for the bedroom and walk it around the house in the evenings. That is the best. Being married is not a kinky exercise. It is just simple and loving. Over the years you will stumble into the things that bring you both together sexually. But, again you are on a cool ride.

  • You've got a great pair of boobs so try working those more. Straddle him and let them hang in his face. Give him a tit wank he'll never forget and I guarantee he'll love it.

  • Three words: Costumes, Alcohol, Bathtub

  • Sometimes when you are in a long term relationship there is really mind blowing sex, average, mundane, or even bad sex. Chances are you're not going to have the really mind blowing sex all the time even if you are a porn star. There is more to sex than just the physicality of it all as well, even just your non-mind blowing sex can help reinforce bonding between the two of you.

  • sometimes be spontaneous with sexual things...

    Surprise him...

  • Maybe ur husband doesn't want you to be over sexual.. Might be too much for you. or just don't worry about sex much... its not why you got married..dont fall in love with sex...dont fall in love during sex...

    • Wow...great advice. Life really is about MORE than sex. Sex is like sugar...a little is nice but too much and it can ruin your life.

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What Girls Said 13

  • Sex, and what one likes in bed are very important things to discuss. But you need to be specific because when asking general questions the guy maybe just give you a general answer. For example ask, "Did you like the way I licked your ____?" or "How did it feel when I moved my hips in a circular motion last night?" these should give you more ideas as to what he likes and is interested in. But you should also ask him what his sexual boundaries are. For example, Will he do bondage? Or are handcuffs his limit? Maybe even look into his porn collection if he has one, or rent a dirty movie and watch it together. Then discuss what you liked and disliked about it.

    I agree with surprise blowjobs. My man tends to get frustrated with his video games and whenever I see this... Surprise time~ When doing that though, becareful of your teeth! When I first went down on my guy it was fine, but when my mouth got tired my jaw closed a little more and the teeth scraped him slightly. He said it felt painful and that I just needed to work on altnerating between my hands and mouth so I don't hurt him. As well, try not to be as rough as some of those girls in porn, granted it all depends on his preference, so maybe be just as if not more rough. But ask him first! Good luck~

    • Thank you so much:)

    • You're welcome~ Another good idea is to determine whether he prefers visual or auditory stimulation. My guy needs to hear moaning and talking during sex or when watching a sex video. This can be easily determined by either moaning differently or louder, and possibly doing a strip tease or pleasuring yourself in front of him. Then at the end ask him to rate both acts on a scale of one to ten on how much he liked them. Or just ask which he preffered. Good luck~

  • From the back an forth down below I see that you've never given him a blowjob? You have to remedy that. I don't know of many men who would be satisfied without oral.

    The key there is to listen and really get yourself into it. Like make him tell you what feels good and then do it like there's nothing else you'd rather be doing in the whole world. Really make him realize how much you want to please him. It's a great way to make a guy feel wanted and appreciated and loved.

  • communication! talk to each other about what you want. my husband watched p*rn before he met me and he hasn't been with much women (like 2 before me) and well you wouldn't know it he's VERY good.

  • There are plenty of books on the subject, just go to your local library. Ask him to be more open and to give feedback, also watch his reactions while doing different things. Sex is very important in a marriage. It's good that you think about his pleasure.

  • :) if he is not willing to discuss it, then why worry about it?

    kif he has an interest he should help you out

    i would not stress over it THIS way, because now you are worried he is bored, next you will worry he is bored with the new stuff, make him talk to you about it this is not right , either you are reading things that are not there which is disrespectful towards him, or he is not being honest, which is disrespectful towards you :)

    • Well I don't think he has had any experience either but he's the type that don't want to admit things like that:)

    • Ohhh, I thought he had lots of experience, I get it a bit better now.. :)

      there are TONS of sights on the net about what to do...

      also you could get a kama sutra book, gives in depth info (THey SHOW YOU HOW)about all sorts of sexy things to do, but also just one this site (They show you how) just type in sex moves or sex advice or sexuality or something - thee will be no shortage I am sure :)

  • sorry to be crude...but you have an amazing chest...try giving him a b-job and using your breasts in the mix too.

    • Thank you. I will definitely try:)

    • Agreed. And it's a good bet that a guy with a busty girl like you will really like it.

    • I'm postive he would enjoy that!

  • Try asking him what he likes to begin with. Ask him to be honest. Not all men like the same things. And give it time too. You'll get to know each other better in the bedroom. You'll develop together in ways you can't even imagine now. But don't forget yourself as well...tell him what you like as well...and it will change in time as well. So basically communication is the key.

  • Can't really help you with that. But I admire you for waiting until you are married!

    Takes a real woman to do that.

    Hopefully I can keep it up.

  • Why not surprise him! If you two are watching tv or something put your hand on his leg, try to turn him on, and when you do, go down on him!

    He'll like that you started it and the fact that you were horney while sitting next to him. Every man likes a surprise blow job, married or not.

    Best luck, girl! :)

    • Thank you:) I know this may sound weird but I've never given him a blow job so I wouldn't know what's right and wrong any advice?

    • Show All

    • He might think bjs are disgusting I think your doing enough.

    • hmm...with my sixth sense that never gets wrong...I can tell that you have a nice butt as you have awesome boobs...I guess I am right ...LOL

      Try to move your relationship with him to the next level...have you thought about anal...?

      Many girls like it...but it has to be slow and you be in control at begining..

      ..and for sure...a lot of LUBE LUBE LUBE

      you will have fun...!

  • sexy clothes.

    sexy talk.

    no matter what your doing, be sure to show you love it! and he should follow.

    If you are curious and anxious the whole time wondering if he likes it, he can tell.

    Own it. and he'll notice.

  • -Oral sex: Use lots of saliva and your hand. Remember to show him you love him by really enjoying it yourself. Tell him you want him to come (in your mouth or on your face will be a real turn on...just is)

    -Breast sex: Husband loves it. Use plenty of lube.

    -Sexy language: Doesn't have to be crazy but things like, "You make my p***y so wet" is a good place to start.

    -Be in to it. Be passionate about pleasing him and he'll get more in to it.

  • Try different positions. doggy style, reverse cow girl. be creative. men love dirty things.

  • Well guys like oral...have you tryed that... and sum like anal (eww)