Let me tell you something I never figured out until I was divorced...
1) Most of your sex life happens on your feet. The intimacy you share out side of the bedroom become realized in the bedroom. If you're both great partners through out your day (hugging, holding hands, etc) then your sex life will usually reflect this. Most couples who "make love on their feet" will make transition to the bedroom quite well.
This means that if there's problems in the bedroom, it's because they're problems outside the bedroom. So keep an eye on this part of your relationship the most!
2) Everyone expresses their "mascluine" and "feminie" energies in different ways, but men mostly express the "masculine" and women the "feminine"
When you come to understand these two energies it's easy to see what most women want and what most men want.
The "masculine" desires freedom, release, completion. Masculine people solving puzzles, they like meditation, they like the outcome. Managers, lawyers, athletes.
The "feminine" desires the process, the drama, the 'ever changing.' Feminine people like being filled up with ideas, with love, with drama. Like the weather their feelings are every changing and flowing. Actors, musicians, designers, mothers, etc.
Read anything by David Deida to fully appreciate this stuff.
This is why most women like the process of sex (the feeling of being desired, the feeling of being filled up with love, etc) while most men desire the outcome (release, being emptied out, the silence of a mini-death)
This this knowledge you might start to appreciate that your husband isn't always seeking deep intimacy in the bedroom, he's just seeking the pleasure of release that only you can offer him.
His appreciation might be for the orgasm and love you offer, not the long-drawn out process of elaborate sexual positions. The masculine wants release. The feminine wants the drama and dance of the act of sex.
But everyone expresses different levels of each energy, so it's up to you to decide where you husband sits on this scale - more masculine or more feminine.
3) The greater your feminine and the greater his masculine the greater your sexual arc of attraction. Learn how to be ultra feminine, especially outside the bedroom, and you'll see his sexual desire dramatically climb.
It's this tension between your feminine energy and his masculine energy that will dictate how powerful the sexual climax.
I hope this helps,
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