Should I tell my girl friend I'm a transvestite?

I'm a 29 year old straight guy, who's also a fetish transvestite. I have never told anyone of this fetish including my girl friend whom I've lived with for 6 years. I do dress up occasionally but because I'm a relatively intelligent and patient I am 98% certain I will never be caught.

Recently I've started to think that maybe I should tell my girl friend about this fetish, but only for the reason of honesty and openness within our relationship. My fetish is for womens clothes, so I enjoy it when my girl friend wears her knickers/bra to bed, beyond this I have no real interest in sharing this fetish. i.e. I don't want to put on a pair of knickers and prance about. I've done some googling around this subject and I'm shocked by comments from women who say their cross-dressing husband has ruined their life.

My girl friend is a conservative from a catholic background. I can't imagine that she will act positively to this information. I have nothing to gain and everything to lose. Should I for the soul reason of honesty, tell my girl friend about this fetish, or should I leave her in blissful ignorance?

Thanks for all your comments. Based on what all of you have said I decided not to tell her.

Please see my explanation below.
Just a little more background info before I explain my decision. I'm a fetish transvestite. This means women's clothes turn me on. I enjoy this about 5-6 times a year, at carefully selected moments. i.e. when my partner is out of the country.
i.e. when my partner is out of the country. These sessions only last for 10 minute. i.e. I don't put on women's clothes for weeks on end, run around spanking the mail-man and demanding everyone calls me Susan.

If you google fetish transvestite there is a medical cure for the condition. Like all fetishes, some people become obsessed and this can have a detrimental affect upon their life. Electro shock therapy is used on these individuals.
I'm not prepared to have such a treatment for a fetish that I consider a bit of harmless fun for ten minutes every two months.

So, I've decided not to tell the girl friend because I don't really want to share this fetish with her any more than I already do (I enjoy her wearing her bra and knickers to bed) and I think it is information she simple doesn't want to know.
This whole thing started because I read a sex advice column in which the advice was given that "you should always be open in a relationship, even about your fetishes." If I did tell her it would be to remove my guilt about hiding this fetish;
after careful thought, I think this is a selfish motive. I would be substituting my guilt for my girl friend feeling betrayed and confused. I simply think its information she doesn't need or want to know.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Wow, this is a tough one.

    Basically, do you think you will marry her? If so, I suspect that sooner or later she will figure out that you've been in her panty drawer. I pretty much know when somebody has been moving my things around.

    I had a boyfriend who was into that, too. It was no problem with me and I made sure he had the chance to dress up and it was pretty hot some times. I figured that if it got him hot I got the benefit too. (we broke up for other reasons)

    Anyway, he said he tried to quit a couple of times and always went back to it. He said it was just a part of him and he just sorta accepted that.

    Getting married is no time to be hiding an important part of your sexuality. Somehow you need to see if she will accept that you like that and will keep loving you anyway.

    Tell her how her pretty lingerie turns you on and how sexy it is and how you love how it feels and stuff. See what she says.

    Maybe you should do some couple counseling before you consider getting married. Doesn't the catholic church require that anyway?

    Don't get hitched with a big secret. It can't be good.

    • Report

      Thanks Rebecca likes skirt,

      I like skirts too.

      Sorry, should have said, we're European, so marriage isn't that big a deal. I known this girl 7 years and lived together for 6 years. We own a house together, joint accounts and have wills leaving all our possesions to each other. I possibly should have called my partner but that does make it sound like we have gone into business together. I don't think we will get married, but somewhere in the next few years were planning to have kids.