Like kinkynconfused says: safe, sane, consensual. Establish trust and boundaries. Talk this out with the kinkiest friend you have; they might know some guys responsible and sensitive enough to pull this off.
Consider this: what distinguishes a rape fantasy from a rape is that the control is inverted; when you're being "raped" in a fantasy rape scenario, you can turn it on and off. You are, paradoxically, the person in power, the guide and initiator, whose consent is constantly sought. It's the very *opposite* of rape, which is why it can be erotic.
rape fantasies for girls are pretty common. people who are saying you don't want it are only half right: being actually raped I suspect would be damn horrible, but if you can find a guy who is willing to play along and be a bit rough and you will have a great time (its really fun :D )
Rape is a very very scary scenario to be in. You are being forced to have sex without your consent and without being in the mood, and you have no control over the situation. In addition, you have no idea what that person will do after you.
You have rape confused with aggressive sex with consent.
ah... don't worry. It's normal to feel that way, for a woman. It's a result of our traumas, like, trauma-bonding. Maybe we think we deserve it, or think we need it to survive. Monique Wittig says that womanhood is identification with trauma, and I agree... I don't know. I get that feeling a lot.
Ok I used to totally say the same thing that I want to get raped (only by hot guys because ew I don't want to associate with disgusting people haha) but if you actually like google rape and see some of the pictures you don't want to be brutally raped... you could die. At least if you are gonna wish rape on yourself wish for the guys to be hott, college guys and wish for like.. date rape or something. (NOT TELLING YOU TO DO THIS BUT IF YOU ARE GONNA WISH IT DO IT RIGHT) lol Anyways I hope you don't get raped because you could die and that's sad. Maybe talk to someone about your feelings
You don't want to be raped, you probably want to be dominated, like a person who enjoys masochism. The idea that you are consensual to it takes away the opportunity of rape all together.
Also, I read your question and I really had to try not to get mad at you for the ignorance you show. As someone who has been raped you have no idea what you are asking for. A lifetime of trust issues or trauma issues. You can switch between not ever wanting to be touched by a guy ever again and behaving "like a slut" using sex as a way to prove that you have power over the word yes and as a way to proving to yourself that sex isn't something that destroys your world.
So no you are not sick, you used the wrong word to express what you truly want. If rape (real rape) is what you truly want then yes, you probably need to go see a counselor because you do have problems.
well I guess diffrent people have diffrent fetishes...and some more extreme then others,but if this is something that bothers you maybe you should go see a terapist and talk about why you want to be raped...seeing a terapist is a good thing so you can go talk to someone who can help you and won't pass judgement on you...and it definitely does not mean your crazy or anything,alot of people go to teraphy to escape and talk about what's bothering them .