Are there any girls on this site who want to or did stay virgins until marriage?

i guess guys can stay virgins until marriage too, but I've never met one in real life who wanted to.

living in a highly sexualized society where hooking up is the norm, keeping a purity promise to yourself is difficult. when I was with my boyfriends I wanted to give in to my urges sometimes, but I knew I had to stay strong. remaining pure is the right decision for me.

are there any other girls who feel this way? how do you stay strong and deal with guys who try to make you break your promise?

 

What's Your Opinion?

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Most Helpful Opinion

  • Hi luv. Yes I want to stay as a virgin until marriage. And yes, I feel the same way as you do because my boyfriend have had sex with his exes before, and I told him that I don't wanna have sex before marriage. I love him a lot and sometimes, I really just wanna give in, not because he forced me into it, but I felt a strong connection between us.

    A few ways that helped me is when I'm in a situation by which I'm feeling so, I kept reminding myself the reasons why I don't want to have sex; the thought that once I've done it, there's no turning back; and if I'm not ready, don't do it, because I do not want to involve others in the aftermath of having sex should things go wrong. And I genuinely hold on to this believe (based on observation) that if a guy really respects you decision, we won't push you into it. He may have the urge, but once you say no, and explain that you don't want anyone, including yourself to be involved with complicated matters should things go wrong due to having sex together, he'll stop. Anything further is a nono and by any means is not the right guy.

    Stay focused, just like how you stay focused in playing sports. Hope this helps! x

What Guys Said 20

  • I was a virgin when younger, cause my beliefs were different. Today, (mid-30's) I still am a virgin, and I can't seem to get rid of it. It's now like a damn curse. (I'm don't mention it, but girls seem to sense it like it's on a billboard or something.

    And they say guys are shallow... BS.

  • Well as a Muslim I don't find any difficulties accepting it as a concept !

    but from a guy point of view, it's really hard to maintain your focus. It gets harder and harder buy the time but I believe if I sacrificed my sexual needs for God till the right time ( marriage ) then He would bless me with a wonderful wife.

    it might seem silly to most of you but this is what I believe in!

    Respect.

  • I'm 23 year old guy it is really annoying when I'm horny and I need to relief my hornyness, a lot of girls are interested in me and I have the opportunity to "do it with them" but I will not lose my virginity before marriage for religious and values reasons and I would only lose it for a one loving life partner

  • ur not that pretty

    • yeah well! show us your beautiful face then!

    • asshole, much? geez

  • I was not a virgin and had been with 2 girls when I met a girl that was a virgin and wanted to wait. I'm not a man whore and I really liked her so I decided to be with her and not have sex anymore til she was ready. Her values became "our" values and we waited for 3 years. She was lying to me and seeing some rich guy behind my back while we were in a very serious relationship (engaged). I didn't have anything at the time and her family was all for her being with a wealthy guy. Either way that was not acceptable and I broke it off with her.

    My situation sucked but I said all that to say this: It can be done and if you really love somebody it isn't a chore at all. Sure it has it's physicall difficulties...lol...but you learn and grow through something like that. And I learned that I can and will completely refrain from sex if someone special comes along. I also learned that if I had it to do over, I would have waited myself also. I LOVE sex but knowing I had it in me to wait, I kinda wish I would have. Anyone can do it. You just have to ignore the "highly sexualized society where hooking up is the norm" as you mentioned...and embrace your own values and be proud of them.

  • i am 23 and a virgin, it sucks. women seem to have a 6th sence where they know I want sex really bad and just steer clear.

    i stayed a virgin for to this point because of faith. and not having anyone I felt OK with giving it up with. now its just an inconvienence.

    it seems like the hard part is not giving it up when your a girl and getting rid of it when your a guy.

    stay strong. at least wait until you have been in a relationship for 6 months or longer and it feels right. .

    i just met someone who its starting right with. we shall see.

    ill tell you this. I'm glad I waited until I felt an conection on so many lvls and am now mature enough to say its more than just lust

  • Unless you totally trust that person and you know you guys are always gonna be together I wouldn't recommend it, you'll probably regret it after losing years of your life without having sex waiting for someone who ends up dumping or cheating on you.

  • well. I'm still a virgin, and 28.. not sure if I'm waiting fro marriage, more the right moment in time, that spark where things feel right and I know I won't have regret. I want know she's the one or at least could be. ( hehe and currently in a relationship for a year and half now) so I know it is hard for her to wait for me, but know our love is true too. ( as for make you break your promise, he cant, not if you are strong enough, and not if he loves youe enough.. if he knew how much you want this ideal, then he be the one supporting you.)

    • That first part is how I feel.

  • boys can...

  • you are not even 18 yet.

    make it 1/2 way through college a virgin, then I'll be impressed.

  • I'm a virgin and am remaining abstinent till marriage because of my commitment to God.

  • I plan on staying a virgin till marriage

  • well I guess religion plays a big part honestly I don't want to be offensive but I'm not religous so "staying pure" just sounds kinda funny especially since when your married it becomes pure.. anyway some girls do this because they want to find someone who cares about them personally I think if you care/love/trust someone, been with them for a lone time and feel they do the same then you can go for it..

    i agree with "Please don't feel as though I'm trying to pressure you, but there are so many benefits and reasons TO have sex before marriage! You're denying yourself of a basic right, not to mention a right that feels wonderful and incredible. May I ask what you believe you're gaining by waiting? There is nothing impure about sex, it's not bad for you and doing it outside of marriage isn't something that should be looked down upon. It's understandable if you want to wait until you know some one better, yes, but to wait until marriage? How can you honestly say you want to spend the rest of your life with a person who you don't even know your compatible with at one of the most fundamental and important aspects of a relationship? You might think sex is just sex, but that's not the case and unfortunately you won't know it until you try it. And to commit to some one who you could end up having a lackluster love life with will end up being the dagger to the heart. Why gamble on your marriage? Wouldn't you rather be sure the guy is the one who you not only want to, but can spend the rest of your life with? You might think sex isn't that big of a deal now, but that's being naive. I'm not saying you have to give it away to every guy you meet, but I sure hope you will be able to feel comfortable enough to express yourself physicaly before marriage rather than taking a blind gamble!"

  • Um, well there are some of us guys who are virgins too, but we just tend to sit back and wait for Gods timing in things, don't worry about it, we do exist and are so excited to see Gods hand and timing go to work. He has a plan "for those who wait", sorry had to throw a shout out to one of my favorite christian music groups, Fireflight, lol.

    -Humble Christian Guy 20

    • World needs more guys like you. Just saying. [:

    • Fireflight is pretty sweet... I like their song "You Gave Me A Promise" or whatever it's called lol.

  • well, ima guy whose waiting. I gunna give myself to my wife someday. I go to a school where its not uncommon to find a slimy condom on the floor. but the girls I hang out with feel the same way about purity too.

    btw,has any1 else ever notice "we" say pure untill marriage? like marriage is an excuse to become impure? I'm apt to think that the purity all the way through marriage is better. once your married and are able to be sexually active with your spouse, you remain pure by remaining faithful to them. not really a hard concept or anything, I was just wondering if anyone else thought of that.

    • i never thought about that before, but you're so right. sex is not impure with your spouse as long as you are faithful.

  • Yeah I'm a virgin guy waiting until marriage as well... I don't find the thought of casual hook-ups appealing at all!

    • Yeah same but I'm just gonna wait no matter what. Dude, I couldn't even kiss a girl that I wasn't diggin' a lot... lol I just don't get how a lot of people can be so intimate with random people the way they are.

    • with you man. even if I were to give it away before, It would be with some one special.

  • yeah waiting. Most prudent course of action.

    And Again. WHY COULDN"T I HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT

  • It'd be a crime if you stayed a virgin 'till marriage.

  • There's a lot of them. I'd hold the same ideal but I don't expect to get a girlfriend let alone married someday.

  • Pardon my offtopic, but staying "clean" until marriage means absolutely no sex or just normal intercourse?

    • No sex of any kind, meaning oral, vaginal, etc. I've never done more than kiss a guy.

    • No sex of any kind, meaning oral, vaginal, etc.

What Girls Said 29

  • I'm virgin and waiting for marriage :)

  • I used to want to stay a virgin until marriage lol keywords being USED TO

  • it happens when you feel prepared.. in my case it doesn't happened yet but I don't mind do it before marriage.. and I respect who wants...

  • I'm going to be staying a virgin till I'm married. I want that to be shared with someone I truly love, I'll have no regrets :) And honestly I've been able to thin out the good guys with this. I've had guys break up with me because I wouldn't give it up, that's all they were after. So I'm certainly waiting until I'm married. I know there's a lot of talk about how you should have sex before you're married (if the relationship is serious) and if both are virgins, it's going to be a new experience for both. So as far as compatibility goes, it's something neither have done yet. Sex is important in a relationship, but the chemistry between the two people is even more important. Sure the first time is going to be weird and nobody knows what they're doing but it's the love that grew before that, that will keep it together. And obviously as time goes on things get easier. I'd hope I'd marry a man who I could see myself with forever, and I'd love him no matter what. So that's why I'm waiting.

  • Im planning to stay a virgin till I'm married! Don't get me wrong there's always a new guy trying to hook up, etc. But the only reason I stay strong, is because I don't date in the first place. Nothing serious at least. I actually feel much happier and less pressure when I'm not always trying to fight the urge. And plus the guys I've kinda had a thing with always respect that about me. A guy is need worth the time if he's constantly pressuring you to have sex and go against your morals. :)

  • I really want to keep mine until I'm married.

    I know, sh*t happens, and I may not be able to do it, but I hope to be prepared.

    My boyfriend knows straight up I'm not going to have sex with him, and he's okay with that. Nobody should try to make you break your promise if they respect you.

  • I am like you saving myself, but much older. While it is hard, you can do it--just rely on yourself and your on will. It's not about being picky with who you share yourself with (though this could be a reason), it is about staying true to your own vow and your own sense of self. Do not let others dissuade you from this path by mockery or something else, remember who you are and rely on your strong soul and will to maintain your stance.

  • not until marriage but definitely until the man I want to marry shows up

  • I am and it's pretty easy when you are honest with the people around you and yourself.

    If someone really likes to you then be honest with them from the start so they don't expect anything and if they stick around or can respect your decision then it shouldn't be a problem.

  • Me and my boyfriend both want to want to wait till marriage. I personally do because I want to only have sex with one guy that I know I'll be with forever and won't leave me after I just give him whatever he wants. It's also God's will that we wait till marriage :)

    • I really ADMIRE these type of girls!

    • too bad your looks will fade once you do start having sex XD

    • Thank you! :)

    • Show Older
  • I haven't had sex yet simply because I am waiting to meet the right guy. I just haven't met anyone or had the chance to be in a relationship with anyone who I honestly really liked a felt really strongly about. I know that sounds weird and I guess I am weird like that. I know that soon I will find a husband and we will get married and have children together, but right now I am on my own.

  • i want to stay a virgin till I find the right guy and ready for iot 100% completely

  • i feel this way. there is a thing in my area called "silver ring thing" and it travels all over the world. its about purity. I went last weekend while they where here and couldn't be happier about my decision. I stay strong by wearing my purtiy ring. it reminds me of my commitment. every time I put it on or see it on my finger I remember the consequences of not staying pure and the joy I'll have when I can give it to my husband and say "ive been waiting for you". so if you don't have a ring I highly suggest you get one. and check out the silver ring thing site too. maybe you could have them come to your town or near your town every year! :) also I signed up for there text messaging thing. they send you text messages and stuff to remind you and help you stay pure. very very helpful.

    one key thing with the guys is to let the know up front that you've made the decision to wait. and if they arnt willing to accept that or they're tempting you walk away! if they can't respect your decision they don't care about you. also don't get yourself into those situations in the first place. draw the line and stay as far away from it as you can. its not about drawing the line and seeing how close you can get to it without crossing. one more thing don't put up what's not for sale! if your giving signals that make them think that's what you want then that's what they are going to do!

    if you need someone to talk to feel free to message me :)

  • A lot of people think like that. I think staying true to yourself is all about trusting your values and the person you're with, though having a sympathetic ear never hurts.

  • I want to stay pure, and I've only had one boyfriend (the one I have now). I haven't ever had an issue with guys trying to force themselves upon me lol

  • Interesting you equate purity with abstinence. Doesn't that pretty much reinforce the religious perspective that sex is dirty. Just a nasty but necessary act to procreate.

    • sex is NOT dirty in religion (Mine at least) it just has to be with THE ONE!

  • Me personally? No. I do believe you should have real feelings for each other, and be prepared to deal with the consequences that can come from it (pregnancy), though. But many of my friends feel the same way you do. I'm not a virgin, and I don't regret what I've done, but I respect you and all my friends who do want to wait until marriage.

    I live in a place where the vast majority of the population is all LDS (Mormon) and they all believe you should wait for sex until marriage, and that's the way I grew up learning, I just chose to make my own decisions. And so even though I don't, I know many people who do.

    I do, however, want to wait to have sex again, until I really know the person loves me.

    And for me it can be hard sometimes, because I've done a little more with guys then sometimes I wanted to, because I used to get pressured easily. But now, whenever they start to try take it too far, I just say, "no", or "stop". really strongly, and they usually stop if you say it loud enough, and use force, and then I explain to them my point of view, that I'm not ready to go further, because I don't want to get too swept up to where I might have sex with you. and usually I've already told them that I don't want to have sex, because I have my future planned out, and I've already had a pregnancy scare where I could've been pregnant, and I'm extremely lucky I wasn't. and a baby would ruin my plans for myself.

  • Masterbation:)

    & you don't need a guy for that plus its good for you.

    Yu'll find out what you like then you'll be able to tell you husband what you want:)

  • When there are practical reasons than yes, but if it is for religious reasons I would say absolutely NOT! There is no more cruel a form of psychological abuse on young people today than religion.

    • @Xia90 HELL Yeah! but not everyone CAN understand buddy! It is the PUREST purpose on Earth!

    • religious reason to be a virgin is the most important.

    • I don't believe that unless it is being shoved down the kids throat with the possibility of losing a parent's love if you choose something else, that it is abuse at all. I have been Christian for my whole life though. Without it, I'd be dead by now.

  • No, although when I was younger I did tell myself I would, although at age 17 I am still a virgin(no oral,anal or vaginal sex), I have since decided not to for a various reasons.

    1) I'm not so sure I believe in marriage:/ As sad as it is to say, marriage isn't really taken seriously in the US,people marry for all the wrong reasons at the wrong times. Of course, there are exceptions it just seems society as a whole takes marriage as a joke, as something that can be thrown away, so I wouldn't want to wait and wait for something that may never take place in my life ALTHOUGH I DO want children and a partner, I'm not so sure about marriage, unless we go through various counseling etc.

    2) I want to make sure that my partner and I are 100% compatible, there is no way I would risk it. I do plan on saving myself for someone I love and who loves me, but I do know, sex is an expression of love and takes intimacy to a physical level, allowing you to connect, but some people just don't click. Imagine: Your friend sets you up with Steve, she tell you about him and you think "wow we are going to completely click." So you go out with him on a date and YOU DO CLICK right? Then, the moment for a kiss comes, you realize, there was no connection, nothing special. You give him another chance and 2nd time around, still nothing. That is the situation I would like to avoid.

    3)I am not religious, therefore I see no reason to save it(judgment wise). Does that mean I have no morals? No. ONS aren't for me, casual hookups aren't for me, I wouldn't engage in any sexual act with just anyone, but when the time comes and we both feel ready, I'll let it happen naturally.

    Honestly, only advice I have for you, is make your boundaries and goals known, don't ever let anyone pressure you into something you don't wanna do(If you do it, do it for YOU) and if a guy wants sex, it doesn't make him a bad guy, it means you more than likely have differing views on sex AND he's human, regardless, any dude you date will be physically attracted to you and will want sex, but pressuring is another subject.

  • That's a very good question :)

    As a muslim, it's really easy to stick to that because I don't live in a highly sexualized society. Sex before marriage is looked as "bad". So, it's easier than your case.

    At the same time, it's a choice. A real one. I do believe that he has to be a special man to deserve me and my body. Some will say fine..he can be a special loving boyfriend..I'd say No...because he has to take it off limis..to do everything...to marry me...not only love & care for me...raise up kids together...live the life together with its bad and the good days.

    So, inorder to have me you have to fight for me and prove you deserve it :)

    • The same thing with me sis!

  • Please don't feel as though I'm trying to pressure you, but there are so many benefits and reasons TO have sex before marriage! You're denying yourself of a basic right, not to mention a right that feels wonderful and incredible. May I ask what you believe you're gaining by waiting? There is nothing impure about sex, it's not bad for you and doing it outside of marriage isn't something that should be looked down upon. It's understandable if you want to wait until you know some one better, yes, but to wait until marriage? How can you honestly say you want to spend the rest of your life with a person who you don't even know your compatible with at one of the most fundamental and important aspects of a relationship? You might think sex is just sex, but that's not the case and unfortunately you won't know it until you try it. And to commit to some one who you could end up having a lackluster love life with will end up being the dagger to the heart. Why gamble on your marriage? Wouldn't you rather be sure the guy is the one who you not only want to, but can spend the rest of your life with? You might think sex isn't that big of a deal now, but that's being naive. I'm not saying you have to give it away to every guy you meet, but I sure hope you will be able to feel comfortable enough to express yourself physicaly before marriage rather than taking a blind gamble!

  • im waiting for marriage too! <3

  • SURE. I am waiting until marriage to have sex. And when me & my boyfriend started dating he tried to pressure me to have sex, but when I told him about my decision he agreed to wait for me. And we're just 14 but he is already talking about our marriage, in about 8 years

  • Yeah I intend to :).

  • I strongly believe in the concept of being virgin-until-marriage and by virgin I mean practising sexual abstinence..because there are surgeries to rectify the tear and bring back the virgin -status. I do feel atrracted and at times feel the need to give in but then my resolve is much stronger and I put a full-stop then and there. Its just a battle of your will power against your primal instincts.

  • yeah I'm a virgin and will be until marriage, but I masturbate to be honest lol. I do it about three times a week. it's a great way to release sexual tension. I make sure I have a passion for other things to keep my mind from thinking about sex too much. I read, am in school, exercise, hang out with friends, pick up hobbies, etc.

    --One guy tried to make me break my promise and I immediately dumped him. I figured if he can't wait then he can't be with me and if he's trying to persuade me to do something I have my mind against then he doesn't respect my morals. :-)

    • ha, I'm so late. but thanks! :-)

    • Wish every girl was like you. Wow.

    • Damn RIGHT!

    • Show Older
  • I was a virgin until 19 when I met my husband and knew he was the one but we didn't wait for marriage we lived together before we got married too. if it's important to you to wait then you should wait. I never felt pressured because all my friends(well 96% of them) were virgins as well and honestly there was no guy I felt was worthy in high school so it was easy for me to abstain. It would have been much harder if there was a guy who I really loved and was sexually attracted to, to be able to resist I must admit.

  • RESPECT

    Yeah, I`m a virgin too.

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