hmm. well, as a girl, I can tell you it is very important for the guy to ENJOY what he's doing. for example, if he looks up from giving the girl oral and has this "god, are you done yet?" look on his face, it totally ruins the moment.
also, a lot of guys underestimate the power of compliments. most girls will be at least a little embarrassed about being seen without their clothes, so a few reassuring comments of "wow, you look hot," or "you have great legs" or something goes a long way.
Every woman is different, but the thing I have found works best it to take everything really slowly. For example, don't just start fondling her breasts or go straight for her vulva. Caress her neck and shoulders. Kiss her lightly on the mouth. Don't start probing for her tonsils. Kiss and caress her arms and wait for her to build her sexual energy up.
Women take a while to warm up unlike men who are ready to go in an instant. When you do get to her vagina I place a finger beside her clitoris and barely move. She might not be used to that light of a touch at first since no guy has probably ever done something like that to her, but I move like the minute hand on a clock.very very slowly. Once she is ready she can tell you to begin moving faster and harder if she would like.
Remember that your sexual responsiveness is different from hers. Women take a while to heat up. Full body caress, massage, light touch over her body. Kissing her in places she's not been kissed.these are all good things. Be explorative.that is key. Always use love making to explore and try new things. This can enhance intimacy. Also learn about her anatomy, inside, and out.
Being a great lover is not something you can assume to know everything about. There are some wonderful books on the subject. Margot Anand, Mantak Chia.etc.
I like the spooning position, and caressing her body with my hands, while making love to her.
You can make her whole body come alive while penetrating. I generally don't like doing the "jackhammer", unless the moment seems to call for it. far more pleasure is derived from sensual love making, using different thrusting techniques, and very, very slow penetration.