How come when a guy complains, rants, whines a lot, it makes him look weak, pathetic, less of a man, why?

Seriously, it just f***in' pisses me off, because all of us, both guys and girls, we all have a right to get pissed off, frustrated, complain, when things are not going our way, but society and culture, always frown upon guys doing it way more than girls, just because a guy whines, bitches, rants, complains doesn't mean he is weak, it doesn't mean he will let someone walk all over him or take advantage of him, and most of all, it does not mean he is literally a cry-baby in which tears are actually coming out. Both guys and girls will find it a huge turn-off, if a guy is ranting, complaining, whining, and frustrated, pissed off because things are not going his way or if he is struggling in a certain part of life. Because this one dude really f***in' pissed me off on a Forum on Plentyoffish when I was ranting about my lack of success with girls, he said to me "No bro, it isn't. And I don't want to be a**** but seriously this is like the eleventh thread you've complained in.

F*cking grow a pair. Seriously, man up. You need to have a spine, NO ONE respects a door mat, and you'll NEVER get a relationship without respect. Realize that YOU are in control of your own destiny and women don't OWE you sh*t, not a relationship, a bj, love, respect, sympathy, NONE of it.

You gotta EARN it. EARN it by realising that you don't NEED to have a chick to validate your existance, realize that people try to help you all the time, but your LAZY ass ALWAYS blames society instead of taking initiative and making yourself more attractive the opposite sex. ADAPT! Don't cry about women not wanting you, find out what they want and use that to make yourself more attractive."

Seriously, when anybody says to me, "Man up, grow a pair, be a man" I feel like literally kicking that person's ass or killing them, because it is so f***ing annoying, seriously, I can prove to anybody that I have balls, that I have a spine, that I am a "man" just by kicking their ass, because after they say "man up, grow a pair, be a man, and other sexist phrases like that" I will prove to them who is the "Man" now after kicking their ass.

Seriously, I f***in' feel like killing that guy who said that me, I f***in' hate how life, society, culture, and women, expect all of us guys to have a "take charge attitude" all the damn time, I hate how everyone expects us guys to keep initiating.
and I hate how they say "because you guys have testosterone" why is having testosterone an excuse for us guys to take charge and take initiative in every aspect of life? being the one to make things happen?
Overall, I just hate the double-standards we have in society
why is testosterone, balls, an excuse for guys to have a take-charge, take-initiate mindset, attitude?
like I saw this argument, and this is what one person said "So I'm a wimpy crybaby but a girl isn't? Lol You're annoying. I'm done talking to you", and then this guy said "Of COURSE girls are allowed to be wimpy, its as if you have trouble reading. Put on some glasses and reread: "men have masculine traits and women have feminine traits", then read it again. Girls are allowed to complain and whine because of their softer nature. Your a guy so of course your NOT allowed to" that pisses me off


Most Helpful Guy

  • because life, society, culture, and even women view us men, males are the more dominant and stronger sex, and in a way they are right, men are on average more physically stronger than women because of testosterone, so since we are physically stronger they want us to be emotionally, mentally stronger as well, it's a double-standard, it's unfair and I don't like it at all either

    • ! yeah guys have the right to show emotions too! it doesn't mean we're gay though, but it might take you people a couple of years to understand this answer! It's okay take your time!

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    • how do you know it doesn't work that way for them? what evidence do you have to back that sh*t up?

    • i would love to kick Asailum's ass

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What Girls Said 38

  • I think there is a difference of just whining because you can and when you have an actual problem at hand. If your complaining is warranted then I don't find it annoying. It's just when some guys go on and on about how no one likes them and have that 'feel sorry for me' attitude that it does get annoying. It gets annoying to me when anyone does it, not just guys.

    • well guys get punished for it more

  • He SAID that? Just spam/report him and move on...

    Meanwhile, ranting takes up a lot of space and energy. It IS healthy to vent, it's not very healthy to dwell. I think the guy was trying to help you out by saying you should pick up the pieces, dust yourself off, and move on. I definitely agree with you that HIS mode of expression was WAY off, though!

    Try talking this out with different types of people. Refocus your energy in a more positive direction, and this stuff won't be an issue because you've fulfilled other aspects of your life.

    • i just don't like how society and the media, culture, expects us guys to toughen it up, like be all warrior-like

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    • Not really, but you already have a very fixed perspective about this, so no amount of objective explanation will really actually convince you otherwise, even if it's true.

      Good luck.

    • he's right you know

  • Testosterone does not make people more assertive. That's a stereotype that society has created to give men power. But power comes with responsibility, which like you said, is not always a good thing.

    I am not really sure what kind of answer you are looking for. It sounds like you are just looking for someone to agree with you, and are not really looking for any outside input. Frankly, I'm sorry that you're annoyed. To be honest, I know what you mean. I am a woman, but am not allowed to complain for different reasons. As a woman, we are "whinny", "bitchy", and "weak." So my problems are automatically less worrisome than a man's. If I complain, it isn't as big of a deal as a man's problems would be.

    Society sucks for all of us. Double-standards screw us all over, at some point. Try and let it roll off you, if you can. Someday gender stereotypes will decrease. But until that day, we need to hold our heads high and try and get through it together. Good luck!

    • yeah I hate societies and life's expectations of us guys, they expect us guys to keep proving ourselves all the time, they say we all have to be "clones" of Chuck Norris

    • i totally agree with the answer

  • Society expects you to adapt because you are a man. Well, guess what, society expects me to adapt because I am a woman. I guess that needing to adapt isn't a man thing. I guess it's a human thing.

    I am guessing that what your friends (or society?) is trying to tell you is that there is no benefit in complaining about anything. Every now and then, both men and women find comfort in a friend that will listen to how hard life has been. And this is very important (in my opinion, sacred) but it does not change the fact that life is hard, and all of us need to keep rolling with the punches.

    • whatever, it's unfair that you girls have everything handed to you on a silver platter

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    • I swear to god if you say that everything gets handed to us on a silver plater again I will punch your face in asshole, you are so damn sexist no women will ever want to date a whiny bastard that complains about everything then starts cussing her, everyone has troubles even girls as hard as it is to believe, I haven't cried in 4 years not once and I get called an emotionless bitch but the only reason I don't cry when somebody dies is because everyone needs somebody stronger to lean on so STFU

    • because it is the truth, you girls don't have to be nearly as assertive as we guys do, even if girls were equally as assertive as guys are, girls will more likely be accepted instead of rejected

  • woman are also criticised being too needy or whining.. you are right we all have the right to be in a bad mood.. the partner has to be patient on that.. anyway, even a boy or girl, a person who is always needy, is not attractive.. in addition, people don't want to deal with people who need support, they are after easy relationship... those people are selfish, but there are people out there that wants to be eith easy going people.. and I aggree with you, this is not just, everybody can be pissed off sometime, their partners should not accuse them..

    • still there is more pressure put on guys

    • i think it depends on the relationship and the person..

    • girls have it easier in the social world

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What Guys Said 42

  • Its not a double standard _in society_. This comes down fundamentally to the fact that men and women are NOT THE SAME when it comes to sex and any behavior (like dating) around sex.

    Men are physically capable of having hundreds of children. Women might have a half dozen. Women have evolved viewing each sexual act as potentially being an investment of years in that male's offspring. A weak, needy man is less likely to be helpful as a father, but even worse, is likely to produce a weak child who saps the mother's resources while not being successful. Women who mated with guys like that had kids who died off and we are not their descendants.

    At the same time, for most of human evolution, males had a more general allegiance 'to their tribe'. They would often have not known which children were theirs. I think we still see that today, mean are more likely to be self sacrificing for strangers, women will do anything for their own kids (even screwing over other people).

    I understand that you can 'be a strong tough man' while still complaining and ranting, but sex was for most of human evolution such a risky thing that they are hypersensitive to anything that suggests that kind of weakness. Women may want great sex as much (or more) then men, but they are far more easily turned _off_.

    Stop blaming society. You can blame nature and evolution if you like, but you wouldn't be here without it. I think its also counterproductive to think of yourself as being defective or that something is wrong with the true you. YOU are the product of evolution. Being the kind of man that women want IS inside you, You just need to let that man out.

    • yeah, it's like women judge men for being weak before completely getting to know them

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    • very good points..

    • and some women think men are the ones with higher standards, how wrong they are

  • Dude, any guy who doesn't have composure is immature. It's as simple as a baby having a tantrum.

    That's why women don't like it and why other guys think it's weak. It's a weakness of your mental state if you're having outbreaks of emotional expression.

    It's not WRONG to feel upset or frustrated or angry or anything. And it's not WRONG to express those feelings. But when you're acting out, or when you lack composure, then other people will realize that they can't trust you.

    It's takes a person of maturity to handle disappointment and excitement in a calibrated socially acceptable way. Composure is a sign of strength.

    ~ Robby

    My Blog ( link )

    • Precisely. Tking charge of your life doesn't mean suddenly everything will go your way like magic. Taking charge means being able to learn from your mistakes, make p positive change, and stand up like a man and admit where you went wrong.

      This guy is just a whiny loose cannon, and if he's like this online I shudder to imagine what he's like in real life.

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    • They don't have it easy. They have to deal with jerks like you all day long.

    • but women love jerks, because the nice-guy's are push-overs

  • This is a long question. Forgive me if I miss the point and my question is a little vague as I may have forgotten some points. Guys are typically seen as the dominant gender. From the beginning of humanity, we have been the providers and protectors of women. This means that the stronger we are, the smarter and more dominant, the better. Complaining, sooking and getting upset are natural male emotions but society dictates that we hide them. There's nothing wrong with complaining when things aren't going your way just keep it under moderation. That being said. Some girls like sensitive men.


    I understand that women ARE equal and we don't have to provide or protect. Don't get that confused.


    • I hate how women feel they need to depend on us

  • Well, its the same mentality that others have towards men expressing feelings that overall make them the basket case of broken relationships.

    I'm guessing its because its

    1) the stigma that men have no feelings

    2) the lack of give a damns guys have towards other guy drama

    I am unsure if the whole "be a man" stereotype is getting better or worse

  • Omg,. am loving this.. more comments plllllsssss/... brb.. gona go get some drinks and pop corn

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