How come when a guy complains, rants, whines a lot, it makes him look weak, pathetic, less of a man, why?

Seriously, it just f***in' pisses me off, because all of us, both guys and girls, we all have a right to get pissed off, frustrated, complain, when things are not going our way, but society and culture, always frown upon guys doing it way more than girls, just because a guy whines, bitches, rants, complains doesn't mean he is weak, it doesn't mean he will let someone walk all over him or take advantage of him, and most of all, it does not mean he is literally a cry-baby in which tears are actually coming out. Both guys and girls will find it a huge turn-off, if a guy is ranting, complaining, whining, and frustrated, pissed off because things are not going his way or if he is struggling in a certain part of life. Because this one dude really f***in' pissed me off on a Forum on Plentyoffish when I was ranting about my lack of success with girls, he said to me "No bro, it isn't. And I don't want to be a**** but seriously this is like the eleventh thread you've complained in.

F*cking grow a pair. Seriously, man up. You need to have a spine, NO ONE respects a door mat, and you'll NEVER get a relationship without respect. Realize that YOU are in control of your own destiny and women don't OWE you sh*t, not a relationship, a bj, love, respect, sympathy, NONE of it.

You gotta EARN it. EARN it by realising that you don't NEED to have a chick to validate your existance, realize that people try to help you all the time, but your LAZY ass ALWAYS blames society instead of taking initiative and making yourself more attractive the opposite sex. ADAPT! Don't cry about women not wanting you, find out what they want and use that to make yourself more attractive."

Seriously, when anybody says to me, "Man up, grow a pair, be a man" I feel like literally kicking that person's ass or killing them, because it is so f***ing annoying, seriously, I can prove to anybody that I have balls, that I have a spine, that I am a "man" just by kicking their ass, because after they say "man up, grow a pair, be a man, and other sexist phrases like that" I will prove to them who is the "Man" now after kicking their ass.

Seriously, I f***in' feel like killing that guy who said that me, I f***in' hate how life, society, culture, and women, expect all of us guys to have a "take charge attitude" all the damn time, I hate how everyone expects us guys to keep initiating.
and I hate how they say "because you guys have testosterone" why is having testosterone an excuse for us guys to take charge and take initiative in every aspect of life? being the one to make things happen?
Overall, I just hate the double-standards we have in society
why is testosterone, balls, an excuse for guys to have a take-charge, take-initiate mindset, attitude?
like I saw this argument, and this is what one person said "So I'm a wimpy crybaby but a girl isn't? Lol You're annoying. I'm done talking to you", and then this guy said "Of COURSE girls are allowed to be wimpy, its as if you have trouble reading. Put on some glasses and reread: "men have masculine traits and women have feminine traits", then read it again. Girls are allowed to complain and whine because of their softer nature. Your a guy so of course your NOT allowed to" that pisses me off

What's Your Opinion?


What Girls Said 37

What Guys Said 42

  • He SAID that? Just spam/report him and move on...

    Meanwhile, ranting takes up a lot of space and energy. It IS healthy to vent, it's not very healthy to dwell. I think the guy was trying to help you out by saying you should pick up the pieces, dust yourself off, and move on. I definitely agree with you that HIS mode of expression was WAY off, though!

    Try talking this out with different types of people. Refocus your energy in a more positive direction, and this stuff won't be an issue because you've fulfilled other aspects of your life.

    • he's right you know

    • Not really, but you already have a very fixed perspective about this, so no amount of objective explanation will really actually convince you otherwise, even if it's true.

      Good luck.

    • women have it easier in the social world, mainly that part

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  • Because no one likes winey guys!

    • why are guys penalized more for it?

  • woman are also criticised being too needy or whining.. you are right we all have the right to be in a bad mood.. the partner has to be patient on that.. anyway, even a boy or girl, a person who is always needy, is not attractive.. in addition, people don't want to deal with people who need support, they are after easy relationship... those people are selfish, but there are people out there that wants to be eith easy going people.. and I aggree with you, this is not just, everybody can be pissed off sometime, their partners should not accuse them..

    • girls have it easier in the social world

    • i think it depends on the relationship and the person..

    • still there is more pressure put on guys

  • Anyone guy, or girl who complains, rants, raves, complains, whines, etc is annoying regardless of sex. No guy wants a woman like that and no girl wants a man like that. People just settle for those kind of people because they think that's all they can get.

    • still it's worse if you are a guy

  • i don't think its that weird... it makes me feel not that weird myself if I see someone else depends if people critisize.

  • Testosterone does not make people more assertive. That's a stereotype that society has created to give men power. But power comes with responsibility, which like you said, is not always a good thing.

    I am not really sure what kind of answer you are looking for. It sounds like you are just looking for someone to agree with you, and are not really looking for any outside input. Frankly, I'm sorry that you're annoyed. To be honest, I know what you mean. I am a woman, but am not allowed to complain for different reasons. As a woman, we are "whinny", "bitchy", and "weak." So my problems are automatically less worrisome than a man's. If I complain, it isn't as big of a deal as a man's problems would be.

    Society sucks for all of us. Double-standards screw us all over, at some point. Try and let it roll off you, if you can. Someday gender stereotypes will decrease. But until that day, we need to hold our heads high and try and get through it together. Good luck!

    • i totally agree with the answer

    • yeah I hate societies and life's expectations of us guys, they expect us guys to keep proving ourselves all the time, they say we all have to be "clones" of Chuck Norris

  • I think there is a difference of just whining because you can and when you have an actual problem at hand. If your complaining is warranted then I don't find it annoying. It's just when some guys go on and on about how no one likes them and have that 'feel sorry for me' attitude that it does get annoying. It gets annoying to me when anyone does it, not just guys.

    • well guys get punished for it more

  • ive never heard of or even thought of a guy being weak because he bitches. he's human! he has every right.

    • yeah... if that was the case there would be a lot more sensible women in the world! lol

      def doesn't mean he's weak, in fact it doesn't make sense for someone to say a man I weak because he "bitchces."

    • if only more women thought like you, just because he bitches doesn't mean he is weak

  • Don't hate the game. Learn the rules. It has been like this for centuries. You can try to change it in your life by being a complain little boy and see what happen. Suck it up, what a idiot you are making of yourself. If you can't handle the game then don't play it. Don't be hating on people and cussing other out because can't handle what reality is. You can fantasize and think that there is no war or genocide. But just look at the world. You are whiney and that is a turn off in girls or guys.

    • yeah, I wonder why us guys are wired like that, that we are willing to overlook any flaw, red-flag a girl has as long as she is hot

    • Women do not need a goal/purpose/drive in life because guys don't care if they do. Be a guy who cares and you'll find women who have those things. Human beings are lazy, and if insecure girls can get what they want (attention from guys, boyfriends, etc) by just looking hot, then that's what they will do. If they don't need a law degree, why bother? When guys stop settling and accepting women just because they're hot, women will step up. And, you'll will realize there are women who already have

    • agree with him

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  • hum, I just thought it was a guys personality that made them less...outspoken?...All the guys in my physics class at my uni don't really voice complaints...but then again most of them are in their late 20's to early 30's

    • Guys are plenty outspoken in many things. Not many women are in my business because it involves a lot of haggling and I've been told by girls it would make them feel uncomfortable, because they'd feel adversarial. To your point, guys are less interested in MAKING WAVES. They don't want to unnecessarily complicate things. It's a bit different than not speaking up.

    • what does that have to do with this?

  • Make a long story short, it looks pathetic because "guys" regardless of what society says or does always want to pretend! Pretend to be macho, to be the one with "the brains", to be whatever else you want to pretend to be. Maybe if you stop pretending and just be yourself regardless even if it comes with you whining no one will consider you weak! When you are confident in who you are you could care less what someone else has to say. If you are always pretending just to make others feel confident in you that is when it becomes a burden and you then have to protect your pretense by not cracking. #too much work, it's not worth it! Someone is bound to see you crack and will start looking at you side ways.

    Vonda G. Nelson

    • yeah I am, because it doesn't come easy for me

    • Again, you're complaining about having to have a productive, self-satisfying life. You're telling me you WANT to be a bum holed up in a 1-bedroom apartment with bras hanging off the couch and half-eaten pizzas on the counter? Why do you care if some girls get by on looks? It won't last. Build your own life. I started traveling the world, now over 35 countries, I've had the time of my life, and women find it hot. I didn't have to do anything; just happened. But I had to build a life I wanted

    • it's okay for girls to seek validation from guys, it's okay for a girl to have her life revolve around her boyfriend but it's not okay for a guy to have his life revolve around his girlfriend

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  • i don't think it does. I think the reason he's upset is more important than the fact that he's upset and I think its manly to face your emotions, and to get angry, and do something about the thing you're angry about. its better than keeping it inside and not doing sh*t about it. I have more respect for the guy who tells someone off than the one who bows his head down and walks away.

    • whats wrong with being a wife beater?

    • Throwing a tantrum and hitting people because you disagree with them is immature. Thinking you can solve your problems by hitting other people makes you sick in the head. Sound like a wife beater in the making.

    • and why is fighting immature? being immature is generally associated with being weak, being a coward, a wimp

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  • Hey, don't ever say you feel like cutting a person off from their dreams and their purpose and life over something that is really trivial compared to killing. I know you're upset, and it's honestly the picture our culture has painted. Women are supposedly more vulnerable and frilly, while men are supposed to be tough all the time. I know everyone has their boiling point, but whining is honestly unattractive to me on both men and women (especially in public). Maybe, try relating your emotion in a way that seems less "girly"; like talking about it in a downcast voice minus the whine with your closest friend. Odds are, you've either been whining in public, or painting your heart to too many people that you may not be able to trust. Find that one person and lean on them and the LORD is my answer.

    I really hope things get better! :)

    • you women expect us men to be perfect everything

  • I don't find it weak to bitch about something...

    I find it annoying to the point of a person driving me away if he/she does it too often.

    Everyone complains, and no matter the sex (because I really don't give a BeeeeeeeP) it's extremely annoying. I even hate it more when a girl complains - because some of them have really high pitched voices and my ears just can't handle it! x)

    • whatever

  • You hate double standards, yet you'd willing commit domestic violence. You're just a piece of sh*t, and that's why no one likes you.

    • Or lack of. its impossible to argue logic with a man lacking a sense of reason. violence is driven by anger. anger is unreasonable. you can't think logically when being unreasonable. period.

    • I rest my case.

    • why is that lacking logic?

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  • I would think anyone who whines or complains a lot would be annoying.

    Unless they're complaining for a good enough reason, like, if someone had a flat tire or if someone got lost I could see why they would be angry or frustrated.

    • geeze

  • You sound like a child. Maybe you like boys?

    • Not when they are behind a computer screen. And besides sometimes I am a bitch, I like it ;). It gives me complete power to be honest and say what I think.

    • The whole "words don't offend me" thing is pretty transparent most of the time. Girls are better at this because, in general, they are better arguers. It's not at all logical but it works. Girls know that when a guy is acting angry, she should act above the fray because it gives them the appearance of more power and her arguing partner will get more and more mad as he loses even more control. But I don;t think anyone completely isn't affected by words.

    • i'm with him, you are a bitch too

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  • It's just how it is in society.How come girls get called being a whore/slut for having sex with a guy in high school when if a guy has sex with a girl they get praise from their friends? I guess that's just how it is.

    • so you think us guys blessed? you are full of sh*t

    • girls don't have to pluck up the courage and face rejection. the praise is for the success of having taken the extra step not the sex. Get real

    • yeah because girls just have to welcome or deny advances

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  • Complaining about something doesn't make you less of a man, but the way your going about it just makes you sound like your having a sh*t fit which isn't attractive in either sex.Generally yes it is more excepted in woman, but that's because we're seen as being the more inferior sex. Personally I've thought that if guys have a problem with one another they talk face to face, have a punch up or whatever... not bitch and complain on the net, which is something I've always admired about guys.

    • give it up for adoption then

    • The good comeback would have been that childbirth and asking a girl out in a bar are not at all related. Sure, a guy doesn't HAVE to ask a girl out, but a girl certainly doesn't need to get pregnant. One is physical the other is emotional. Man some of these guys have no skills.

    • because as a female you can get attatched to it because you are growing life inside of you. And you can feel really bad that you are responsible for taking away potential life to suit your own needs. So can you not see the type of emotions you have to deal with when you get one?

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  • if he can't grow a pair and shut the f*** up, its his problem.

    generally people don't like whiney bitches, despite gender...

    we know women have real problems that deserve complaining about, so get over it

    • rejection is tough too

    • why wouldn't it be. wow you have to have a penis and not a vagina boo hoo. get the f*** over it that's essentially the only meaningful difference. you guys need to all get lives. srsly. wtf you're bashing me on a website just because I think having a baby is tough. it is. get a life...btw to comment on the original posters question...testosterone actually causes people to take action, while estrogen nullifies that. so actually testosterone would make it easier-making the initiator preconception

    • and why is getting pregnant, childbirth, labor, the ultimate excuse you girls use as to why girls have life harder than guys?

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  • Selected as most helpful

    because life, society, culture, and even women view us men, males are the more dominant and stronger sex, and in a way they are right, men are on average more physically stronger than women because of testosterone, so since we are physically stronger they want us to be emotionally, mentally stronger as well, it's a double-standard, it's unfair and I don't like it at all either

    • i would love to kick Asailum's ass

    • how do you know it doesn't work that way for them? what evidence do you have to back that sh*t up?

    • unfortunately for them it is. A guy can get a woman at pretty much any age, but it doesn't work that way for them. They have to use the time they are young to find someone, and that is something you take for granted. Be happy your a guy because you have that luxury.

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  • AMEN!

  • which is why I hate being male at times

  • because women, girls, females are EVIL!

  • an excuse? Double standards? Are you really this f***ing stupid to be mad that you are male? Maybe you get mad when other things beyond your control happen too, like when it rains or when there's traffic. Seriously, your just a little bitch who can't accept things the way they are(aka growing up) and want to bitch and whine like a baby. "Wahhh its not fair that I have to go for what I want in life! The girl I like should DO AL LTHE WORK AND COME TO ME! And when I'm hungry, the hamburger should RUN OUT OF MCDONALDS INTO MY MOUTH TOO! WAHHHHHHHHHHH!" - Question asker

    • I wish you would Die Asailum

    • and I don't get why people like asailum are comfortable and content with having to do all the work, that they enjoy going after what they want, sounds like they enjoy being rejected, enjoy getting denied

    • Good points. Life is hard. Working for things gives you more and is more valuable. I know plenty of old friends, family members, etc., who skate by, save up for nothing more than beer, have no real career, and haven't left their home state. Some of them are alone, too, or with loser BF/GFs. That's what you get by being passive. If that's cool with you, then go for it. Plenty do. If you want hot girls, lots of money, an interesting life, you have to work. OR else, just wear young anger as a mask

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  • Everybody gets pi$$ed off and gets into a rant, I do too. But when you rant about stuff every single day,especially over little stuff,well, it gets old bro.

  • well if you actually had balls youd know, so your implying that girls don't have a take charge attitude?

    • Would you rather be the CEO or the janitor? One had to take charge. Oftentimes it's a man, sometimes it's a woman. One had to take charge and have some balls. And they got rewarded.

    • somebody has to, if nobody was a leader we wouldn't progress anywhere in life or in society even

    • and why is having balls an excuse for taking charge?

  • BY DEFINITION there are "masculine" and "feminine" traits. whining complaining ranting are inherently "feminine" traits. don't believe me? take your girlfriend or mom to a bad dinner, or ask your girlfriend or mom about the women at their work. you won't hear the end of it, then ask them about it 3 months from then, still won't hear the end of it. yeah buddy be a man.

    • f***nuts, that's what you are

    • oh and you have mincy f**g0t balls

    • haha your gay. homosexual.

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  • i complain a lot. no shame.

    • yeah no biggie

  • Being a drama queen is a turnoff regardless what sex you are. But yes, it is a double standard against men and slightly more acceptable for women to be drama queens.

    But one thing I really struggled with growing up was trying to bottle my emotions and frustrations and trying to be "manly" about it. Because I was on weird medications back then, these medications would cause me to get extremely painful headaches when I got really frustrated or angry; they were painful enough to make me start tearing up, but in worse case scenarios they'd make me cry. And crying is taboo if you're a man (thanks to society). For many years I thought it was normal for everyone to get painful headaches under intense anger and/or frustration. That is, until someone told me otherwise.

    This is why I don't take anti depressants anymore.

    • yeah but it's not so much the other way around

    • Who are you to judge someone else's selection process? I really don't think too many women sit around saying "I want a hot, rich guy I can suck off of so I can be lazy". I just think success and accomplishment is attractive. If the girls you're meeting are saying that, it's because YOU hang out with losers. And there are plenty of women who will bang a hot loser. Often they're cougars but so what?

    • its like women judge men on non-physical attributes, sure if the man is very hot, looks like a GQ Model, but he has no life, has nothing going for him, has no confidence, women will not accept him

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  • well dude, you prob shouldn't bitch so much. not being a d*** or what ever, but its a turnoff no mater what gender it is. if people are telling you your acting like a women when your bitchin or complaining, then you probably bitch A LOT. tone it down a bit, keep some of your bitchyness to yourself. I bet people will love being with you a whole lot more. and the answer that guy gave you on plenty of fish. that was a good response.. id take his advise tbh. and to be honest, with your updates. it really does look like you bitch constantly. and you want to kill someone over the computer? ooookay... dude you need to grow up a bit and chillllll out. not saying I don't hate double standards with men and women, but this is one that really isn't even a double standard. I hate it equally if a man or woman bitches about something.

    • If you can't show it to someone, maybe there's no chemistry. You must end this idea that any woman who doesn't like you is a loss. 90% of women would have never fit with you anyway. Getting a girlfriend isn't supposed to be about your ego, it's supposed to be about building a happy, stable life.

    • i mean that it is very hard to show people, especially women, that you have confidence

    • because confidence makes it harder to get what you want

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  • because it shows how immature and not like a man he is.

    • you did not get what I said, they always say this and this in life, society, guys and girls, say what makes a boy, and what makes a man, but they never say what seperates girls from women

    • You're making up that fantasy to protect yourself. No one that matters ever said "difference between boy and man". Who is "society"? It's a faceless strawman you can pile your anger on and make accusations against without having to confront a real living human being who probably doesn't think the way you think they do. No girl I've met expects perfection as you describe. And why isn't having mental strength better? Don't you want to be an emotionally healthy person?

    • because nobody says to women "Woman Up, be a Woman", it's like society, culture, the media say what separates boys and men, but they never say what seperates girls and women, it's like us guys have to be perfect mentallty, socially, verbally, etc. A man's mental strength is far more important than his physical strength

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  • They are so nice

    please plut: www . soozone . com


  • Its not a double standard _in society_. This comes down fundamentally to the fact that men and women are NOT THE SAME when it comes to sex and any behavior (like dating) around sex.

    Men are physically capable of having hundreds of children. Women might have a half dozen. Women have evolved viewing each sexual act as potentially being an investment of years in that male's offspring. A weak, needy man is less likely to be helpful as a father, but even worse, is likely to produce a weak child who saps the mother's resources while not being successful. Women who mated with guys like that had kids who died off and we are not their descendants.

    At the same time, for most of human evolution, males had a more general allegiance 'to their tribe'. They would often have not known which children were theirs. I think we still see that today, mean are more likely to be self sacrificing for strangers, women will do anything for their own kids (even screwing over other people).

    I understand that you can 'be a strong tough man' while still complaining and ranting, but sex was for most of human evolution such a risky thing that they are hypersensitive to anything that suggests that kind of weakness. Women may want great sex as much (or more) then men, but they are far more easily turned _off_.

    Stop blaming society. You can blame nature and evolution if you like, but you wouldn't be here without it. I think its also counterproductive to think of yourself as being defective or that something is wrong with the true you. YOU are the product of evolution. Being the kind of man that women want IS inside you, You just need to let that man out.

    • and some women think men are the ones with higher standards, how wrong they are

    • very good points..

    • i see

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  • I love seeing men awaken to reality its a beautiful thing!

    i think you'll like this: link

    • Most of what you know about testosterone and the effect it has on personality is probbaly wrong. Testosterone make you more willing to be rational, work together and even compromise for the better of the group. when people think they are given testosterone they act like aggresive idiiots. I love science.

  • I don't appreciate some girls' answers that reek of double standard, but what you're doing isn't attractive. You have to OWN who you are. Anger, yelling at people, and things like that that you are doing show you are out of CONTROL. Women like men who are in control. That doesn't mean unhealthy, macho/dominant control like a gang member or a drug lord, but in control of their life.

    If you weighted 150 pounds and someone called you fat, you'd laugh at them all day. It would never bother you. It's obvious something's bothering you. That's what's unattractive... letting it get to you. Be confident and in control of who you are.

    I'm a more sensitive guy and find many of these macho guys fake and annoying. Yes, some girls will go for these guys but those girls are not worth having. The mere fact that you let these immature girls upset you is part of your problem. It's like you want these girls who want jerks as some kind of accomplishment just because they're hot, when you know deep down those girls are not for you. So what if a segment of girls fall for the fake-macho act? Plenty of women like sensitivity and emotions, but it has to be natural and who you REALLY are, not just a passive aggressive act to get attention and whine and complain about not dating.

    Be happy you're not dating the bad girls and go find the right ones. A MAN is one who is control of his destiny; he doesn't let life control him, he controls his life. That, not douchy macho posturing, is what makes a man attractive.

    • ap1100 is speaking truth. listen to him!

    • well we men have to work on ourselves more than women do in order to make ourselves attractive

    • Again, girls "only needing to be a piece of meat" is WHOSE fault? It's men's fault. Believe me, I get plenty frustrated with some of the obnoxious girls out there, but while they're responsible for their actions, YOU are responsible for your reaction. If YOU choose not to date girls who are just "pieces of meat", that won't be your reality. Who cares what other guys/girls do unless you are a controlling person? Make YOUR reality one where you only date women who are worth it.

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  • haha its not society

    the world is the way it is

    just like men naturally hate women for LTR who are sluts, women hate men who are weak, complain, bitch, moan exc...

    i prescribe to you a healthy dose of man the f*** up

    • man the f*** up, grow a pair is one of the most sexist annoying phrases invented by human kind

    • Chuck Norris? Hardly. Guys like that are often the least "manned up"; it's often all a front.

    • it's the sexist phrase I hate with a huge passion, I hate how society, life, and culture expects us guys to toughen up, be all like Chuck Norris, etc.

  • Omg,. am loving this.. more comments plllllsssss/... brb.. gona go get some drinks and pop corn

  • Well, its the same mentality that others have towards men expressing feelings that overall make them the basket case of broken relationships.

    I'm guessing its because its

    1) the stigma that men have no feelings

    2) the lack of give a damns guys have towards other guy drama

    I am unsure if the whole "be a man" stereotype is getting better or worse

  • Nobody said 'Man up, grow a pair, be a man'? I'm disappointed

    • Its the joke that was lying wiiiiiiiide open

    • what does that have to do with this?

    • And I'm sure the double standards hate you

  • cuz women dun gotz no brainz and confrom to the male ideology of gender roles

    • See it can't work out if your being serious, LOL

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