Is my boyfriend bisexual ???

Is my boyfriend bisexual? He's always trying to have anal sex with me to which I always ask him if he's bisexual & he says no.He asked me the other day what I would do or think if I found out a boy I was dating was or used to go out with guys! I asked him if that was a confession & of course he said no. He's very mysterious & very concerned with his appearance although he "looks" like a big tuff macho the beginning of the relationship(2yrs. ago) he had a voicemail from a man very soft spoken saying hey its me I'm looking forward to having lunch.I thought it was weird but didn't think much of it til now that I'm really doubting his sexual preferences. He talks bad about gays & one of his sons is gay to which he is very upset. I know if I ask him & try to have a serious conv. he will never confess to it I don't know what 2 do. We've been through sooo much and I've taken a lot of bs from him but I don't think I can take this. I don't know what to do.


Most Helpful Guy

  • He may or may not be bisexual, but if he talks badly about gays and is upset about his gay son, it would be very hard for him to accept these tendencies in himself. It could be that his apparent homophobia is a cover up or that he is trying very hard to deny his feelings.

    Liking anal sex doesn't mean he has gay tendencies, though you should only do it yourself if you want to.

    If you are open to accepting homosexuality, and that he may be bisexual himself you must be sure to speak about it in a calm, non-aggressive,non-threatening way. If, on the other hand you've given the impression that you wouldn't accept it, if he is bisexual, he will continue to cover it up if he wants to stay with you.

    • Thank you frank, I think if he is he is in denial..he is very concerned with what people think of him and his image..and he is very well known in our city and he is related to everyone..everywhere we go we see someone he knows...but obviously he can go to other cities where people don't know him..idk what to think...


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What Guys Said 4

  • I'm not going to say that I am an expert at this, but here is my point of view. I'm a bi guy, and I like anal sex alot. I have guy friends who are straight and bi who also like anal. So, I think its really just a personal preference. It seems as if your guy might have some insecurities that he is dealing with. If he is bi, it is quite a challenge to come to terms with and be secure. Human sexuality is emotionaly complex and a persons surroundings and upbringing can have an infulence on them. I think that if you guy is bi, he may have to come to terms with it himself. If you want to talk to him about it, you will have to be supportive and nonconfrontational. Take time to think about what you say before you say it. You also noted a voicemail on you guys phone, did you listen to it without him knowing? If you are spying on your guy, then perhaps you both have some insecurities to deal with. If you both really care for eachother, then take the time and effort to try to sort this all out.

  • Ok.

    How would you really feel if he told you he was Bi? Would it change things?

    Perhaps, just perhaps he wants to hear from you that you could be alright with it. That as long as he was committed to you and only you that maybe you'd see a change in his secret ways.

    This really could be the real reason why he has been the way he has been with you form sometime. He is just scared. no matter how old you are, or how big and tough you are everyone gets scared.

    Try it.

    • Well he has cheated in the past with his ex (I saw him at her house) and I'm sure its not the 1st or last time he's done it. He finally admitted he did recently (with the ex) & says he's gonna change but I don't know if he ever will. Rt. now we are at our last attempt (I told him this was the last chance). He's very closed he's been thru a lot & he feel like I don't HAVE 2 know everything about him & I agree but in this case I feel I have the rt. 2 know since we do have a sexual relationship. I don't know what I would do

    • Ok. I think you are right. It sounds alittle more conplex than the question. He has a lot of secrets and my opion would be enough is enough. Cheating, and not being open is a terible combination. I thought perhaps he was afraid of what you might of thought, but I think he is just living some type of fantasy. Say good bye or you'll be hurt again.

    • Thank you, I know that's what I need 2 do & I've tried endless times. I love him so much & the worst part is I don't know why! he has hurt me sooo much and he's an a**hole but I can't leave and when I do we calls & calls and finally I give in...last time I stopped talking 2 him like 4mths & that's when he noticed that I was (a bit) serious so he's tried changing but I don't know how long its going to last. And now with this whole bisexual thing..idk what 2 think..its like he doesn't want me but he won't let me go either

  • hes not. I like to do anal to girls, it feels great =] but anways. I'm not bi-sexually, I always dress well and very into fashion

    and even if he is bi-sexually, does it matter? he still interested in u, doesn't he?

  • no haha he jus likes ur ass :)


What Girls Said 3

  • It's pretty bad for someone to have a gay son and still bad mouth gays. He might feel like he's secretly gay and resent himself for it.

  • My dear,

    Most gay men wear masks at the beginning. For example, because he has a "macho" personality doesn't mean he isn't bisexual.

    On the other hand, a lot of men enjoy anal sex with their spouse simply for pleasure.

    the fact that he's been recieving random voicemail from men with a feminin voice is strange though.

    You've got to confront him about it. but don't seem upset . You've got to show that you're open to his response in order for him to give you an honest answer. Otherwise, if you show him you're angry/upset right away, he'll be afraid of losing you and he will of course, deny it.

    Good luck.

  • You have given me no prooof whatsover that he is bi-sexual. Having male friends does not make you bi-sexual.