So my guy knows that I want foreplay and I tell him all the time sex isn't as good for me without it. I really want to make out before sex and get touched all over, but he thinks just fingering me a little is enough. The truth is I really don't enjoy getting fingered unless I am really wet. I've told him not to neglect the rest of my body but he thinks foreplay isn't that important. Right now the only way to get foreplay is by refusing to have sex with him as he knows I can't resist him when he kisses me.
How can I get him to understand that foreplay is really important to me and that I need more?
can you live years without foreplay? how important is it to you? you can try telling him the truth but not every guy is detail oriented when it comes to sex...honesty is the best policy...tell him that he has to heat up the the oven before sliding in his pot roast...lol...foreplay makes sex so much more fun...show him what he's missing out on...watch a porn flick together...something that has foreplay and strip tease...yeah baby yeah...pow pow pow...bam bam bam lol
I can tell you what worked for me with an old bf. He was pretty much like what you are describing here. One evening he wanted to do it and abruptly just started trying to get his hand inside my jeans. We had talked in the past and I told him how I would like much more foreplay, well anyway I just got pissed , jumped up, tore my clothes off, and laid spread open on the floor and told him if this is all you want to do, then "F" me and get it over with.
That put the skids on sex for that night and he excused himself shortly and went home to his place. I cried most of that night. Good news was however that when he came back three days later the foreplay genie must have had a long conversation with him as he was a totally different guy and we had a ball. I must of taught him too good however, caught him with another girl about 7 months later, so it was bye bye Tim.
You need to be more aggressive about your desires. Sex is supposed to be an intimate experience enjoyed by both partners and clearly you are getting the shaft (chuckle). It sounds like he is more interested in getting off than pleasuring his partner, which is wrong. If he doesn't give you a reason to have sex, why would you do it?
I know that some women are afraid that if they don't allow themselves to be used as a blow up doll, they will lose their men. If that is the case - so be it. It isn't fair, you should be able to enjoy the experience as much as he does.
Talk to him. Explain to him that you are not getting the same pleasure from your experience as he is and how that affects your views on sex. Tell him you aren't going to give him what he wants unless he gives you what you want. What you're asking isn't unreasonable and I would like to think he would see it that way. If he can't see your side of it, then don't have sex with him anymore.
Tell him unless there is foreplay you don't even orgasm. If he cares about taking care of your needs he will agree to doing it.
Maybe he just doesn't really know what else to do? Try to help him out. If you have to, a good way to teach him where to touch is whip cream. Get some in a spray can and put it on yourself and tell him these are all the places I want to be touched. Make a game out of it, and make it fun for both of you. Ask him to lick it off and once it is gone to rub, nibble, lick, whatever you want. Tell him you love when he kisses and licks your entire body. Keep your underpants on and tell him to start at your ear, work all the way down to your toes, then come back up slowly before he gets sex.