I know he slept with someone else?

My boyfriend and I are getting married next summer. He currently lives out of state, but we have never had any problems with the distance. He is wonderful, and I mean that. There couldn't be a better man for me. And I love him very, very much. But I know he slept with someone else. He contracted an STD from her. I have not told him that I know because I don't know what to say. It does me no good to start a fight if I plan to stay with him anyway. The strange thing is that I am not angry. I don't doubt that he loves me and wants to marry me because he makes love to me with tears in his eyes telling me how much he adores me. I feel really conflicted. If he were anyone else, he would have been kicked to the curb by now without giving a second thought. But he is my heart and soul. And I have built my life around him. I know that if I broke up with him, I would keep loving him. And I know he would never stop loving me. It feels like such a waste to loose something so good over something I am not even angry about. The only thing that is giving me pause is that I don't know how well I can trust him anymore. I trusted him completely. And now... I know he will lie to me straight to my face. I don't know that I can build a life without trust.

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  • Really its your decision, but at your age you still have options and a long time to find another partner, just because you have built your life around this man doesn't mean that you can't find somebody else and re-build yourself up again. The fact that he hasn't said anything to you says a lot about his character. How will this affect you and him in much bigger problems in your future together as husband and wife?

    The fact that your older means that you've done a lot of hard thinking to come to this decision and it seems like your just looking for reinforcement in this post. Because you are unsure means that you do have doubt about yourself and him in the future. The thing is is that he has a disease that will never go away, sure it can be suppressed to prevent other problems like Cervical cancer but that's something that YOU and HE will have to deal with from a day to day basis, and are ou ready to make that kind of commitment?

    Not only that but if you are FOR CERTAIN that he has the disiese than you and he will never be able to have children you do realize that? THink about this long and hard, I can promise you that if you do decide to leave him, that you will find another man and move on and be happy.

    • He only has it around his mouth, it hasn't presented on his low extremity. I do not have it. Preventative steps can be taken so I never get it. And warts can be easily removed. The health issue isn't an immediate danger. The big thing is that marriage is a huge commitment. I would be signing on for all of the ups and downs. I have to be able to literally trust him with my life. I am not worried about being alone. It isn't really about that. I don't know. I wish he hadn't been such a moron.

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    • It can also transfer if there is an open wound... like the kind you can get from shaving.

    • Well than that doesn't necessarily mean he cheated does it?