How can I get him to perform oral?

I love oral, both giving and receiving, however, I rarely get it from him. We've been together for two years and have been living together for about 4 months. When I finally asked, because I was feeling a little neglected in that arena, he mentioned that one of his ex's, this girl having been his first, back when he was about 17(5 years ago), had forced him to do it and he doesn't like it so much anymore. Originally I thought it was not being completely shaven, but then after shaving 100%(which isn't always so easy to do, and for the record I do try to do as often as possible), it came down to be lightly asking and receiving the above answer. I don't want to force him, but I'd love to get a little oral affection.

Like I said, I don't want to force, just a way to maybe get him to consider it a little more opposed to throwing it away because of a girl who screwed him over years ago, especially after he was with so many girls post her during his time in high school.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Treat him how you'd like to be treated if the same thing had happened to you. Being forced to do something can often ruin whatever something it was. Be patient. Maybe ask him if he can just try "being in that area" without giving full-fledged oral. Like kissing your thighs or just resting his head there. Baby steps :P

    • I don't think any guy should have to be weaned or pampered into oral sex. He should want to dive right in, so long as his lover attends to her housekeeping adequately.

    • Not everyone's the same. Doesn't do any good to tell someone how they should feel about something sexual.

      Besides, she's not going to get anywhere with him by just telling him to "man up." Considering he has only done it once and it wasn't a good experience, a bit of understanding goes a long way.

    • Actually, as he's had many previous partners before me/after this girl, I'll assume he's had more experience and trust me I'm trying to be understanding. I love him too much to force him into something he's really not comfortable with, like you said, baby steps and gently discussing perhaps in a non-nagging way. :)

What Guys Said 14

  • "I don't want to force [you], but I'd love to get a little oral affection."

    I can't do any better.

  • your in your rights to want a man who can please you in all departments, and like you has got to give as well as get, so your not forcing it when you express the need, he should realize his lack of wanting is damaging a good sexual relationship,x

  • You need to stop the sex he gets being as frequent, and when he asks why, let him know that sex alone just don't do it for you, and you find yourself going off the idea of just sex, it bores you, even if its hard to do because of you enjoying sex, only by stopping him getting what he wants will you get what you want, he will realize that a woman needs more stimulation than just sex and that foreplay is often essential for a girl to get warmed up for sex, this should work a treat, because he is just being selfish, and isn't really performing to your needs, good luck,x

  • If he was wanting anal and you didn't the feminazis would be going wild here telling you that you only do things you want to do during sex. Seems like he has the same right to opt out of activities he doesn't like. I suggest you try 69. Suck him good and just spin around and sit on his face. If after a couple tries at that you are not getting tongue you either stop oral or get a new boyfriend.

  • Can I give you my cell phone number?

    No, really.

    Ask him and explain just as you did here. No guilt trip, psychology, threats or manipulation. If he declines and it is something you really want as an integral part of your relationship, you may want to re-evaluate the relationship. If he holds back here in this most intimate and exciting thing a man can do for his lover, he will hold back in other ways as time passes. Danger sign.

  • The only guys I've ever known who didn't like to give oral were douchebags who generally thought of women as collections of orifices for them to get their d***s wet in.

  • He should be taking care of you with his tongue. It's about time for him to get busy, and it has nothing to do with his past.

  • Some dudes just don't like going downstairs, I've had an experience where I was like no way am I going down there (it looked unkempt and dirty). Some men just don't like it in general, although they are rare. I'd doubt he wouldn't go down on a p*rnstar if asked. If you really want him to, ask him what it would take to get some oral. After that, it's his decision and you have to accept it.

  • Men seem to always expect oral from women, but won't return the favor...I would rather give a woman oral than receive! Just saying

  • Ask yourself one question: How would you feel if you had that same experience, and was ask to performe oral? I don't know, Girls asways talk about being forced about doing things as being terrible, but when they want something they keep on insisting... If he doesn't like it then he doesn't like it period. If you really want it, then leave him and get someone who likes that kind of activity, but then again, will you leave him for that simple reason, it's up to you... good luck

    • I don't pressure him about it, in fact he's the one the originally initiated(he's my first in sexual endeavors) and the thing is, he has sort of pushed me at times I wasn't in the mood to perform. That would never be a reason to leave him though, because of one simple pleasure I'd like to receive. And not all of us girls do that. lol. ;)

  • shave and put on some flavored lotion, I LOVE TO GO DOWN :)

  • do 69 and during be enthusiastic and afterward tell him how much you enjoyed it

    then he'll know you like it and might initiate or he won't be as hesitant if you ask him

    explain to him that when you give him a bj it makes him feel good

    say you just want the same feeling

    it could be an inexperience thing, so maybe tell him to lick your clit or finger you so he knows what works

    there's nothing wrong with talking about it either

  • Tell him that that is not a real reason to neglect his current lover.

    You've already been very patient with him, but he's basically being selfish.

    If he's not willing to at least try and get over this, then you guys have a problem. He needs to be aware of that and to deal with it.


What Girls Said 2

  • um apart from letting him know that you want him to I would say give him some time and if he doesn't do it or at least more often then its up to you if you want to put up with it or end the relationship. just let him know you're not completely satisfied

    another suggestion is to do the 69 position

  • imo if he doesn't like it because of something tramatizing like that he's never going to, he's turned off by it now and he's not going to change. Like if you got turned off by having a guys penis in your mouth and you just couldn't bring yourself to do it how would you want your guy to handle it? or would you want him to leave you alone about it and accept that that just wouldn't be an option for him and still love you anyway? or would you understand if it was a deal breaker in the relationship if that was really important to him?