Why won't she have anal sex with me?

I have dated my girlfriend for 4 years. We took a break about 4 and a half months ago. She always said she never wanted to have anal sex which was OK with me even though I wanted to try it. During our time apart she admitted to me that she had anal sex with a guy, but she still won't have it with me even though were back together! Why is this?

What's Your Opinion?

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Most Helpful Opinion

  • WOW! The guy was black she had sex with during your break up! The anal might not be your biggest problem, she very well may never look at sex with you like she did before sampling a black one!Anal is a degrading and ucky thing in the first place and something I would never try (even with my black bf's) no matter how much they wanted to try it.

What Girls Said 7

  • Anal is painful. I'm guessing she tried it, found it unpleasant, and doesn't want to go there again. Why she tried it with him and not you...who knows? Only she can answer that. Maybe he pressured her. Maybe she was drunk. Maybe your size scares her a bit. Whatever the reason, don't try to force it on her.

  • She probably found out how much she HATES it and always has. It is disgusting, and you need to get over yourself.

  • Maybe her interim guy was smaller and she was more comfortable with the idea of trying it with a smaller johnson. I admit, I tried once, and it was not pleasant. Don't have the desire to try it again. What is the fascination with the a-hole anyway? Isn't the vjj good enough? That's what it's there for... not the a-hole.

    • ill have to admit then that I'm not very big..

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    • plus she made it very clear that she wasn't interested in a relationship with this guy..just fun

    • ok, maybe guys don't understand this. a girl can feel very pressured by certain guys and in those cases she'll cave in to what he wants. that doesn't necessarily make it rape, but it doesn't make it right either. if it was "fun" she was looking for in this guy, did she say she enjoyed the anal sex with him? she could've been trying out the dark side just for heck of it. I've done that myself. all you really need to focus on is respecting HER. not what she did with someone else.

  • she probably didn't like it

    • but why did she try it first with a random guy and not me?

    • you'd have to ask her that, maybe he was just really convincing, or maybe he was smaller than you so she thought it would be easier, but clearly after trying she didn't like it and doesn't want to do it again

  • It may have been a bad experience for her, and when things go wrong with anal, it takes a while to be willing to try it again. Try to work her up to it, but if she doesn't go for it, you may have to give it up for a little while. Go her speed, lots of lube, and make sure she stays very relaxed.

    • yeah but we had been together for so long and then she went off and did it with a guy she didn't know that well

    • Some people just don't enjoy it. She probably thought she'd just go for it, and if it didn't go well and she only wanted to try it, she probably will need some time before she's willing to do it again. It's a very sensitive and taboo thing for many women.

  • Maybe she didn't like it.Or maybe you're bigger than him.

    • but why did she run off and do it with a random guy before me? and he was black...

    • I don't know.Rebellion? Like to get back at you, since you weren't with her?I don't know.Not many girls enjoy it. Maybe she didn't like it.Maybe she's just saying she did it.Ask her.

  • well, anal sex can be very painful. Also, a lot of women find it to be dirty and gross. I highly doubt you would like having a penis in your ass- it really can hurt if done wrong. Whatever you do, don't force it, let her come to you

What Guys Said 2

  • She cares about you, she was excited by him?Dump her.

  • Ask her. But the course of events you described would be a deal breaker for me. It's one thing to say no. It's another to say no, do it with someone else and then say no again to me.

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