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Do most men want to marry virgins?

okay so men want sex... it seems all the time and will do all sorts of things to get a woman in bed with him but when it comes to marriage and... Show More

i was asking for what you would want as a man do you want to marry a virgin? or do you not want a virgin? or you don't care?

Most Helpful Opinion

  • No. I'm a virgin at almost 25. And I want an experienced girl who will totally corrupt me and make me whimper. (Is that hypocritical of me?)

What Guys Said 18

  • Are men's attitudes about this hypocritical? YES!

    But that's because society still teaches us that women should be virgins at marriage, when that concept is TOTALLY INCOMPATIBLE with a society where the average marriage age is 30!

    Our biology says that we're supposed to start having sex once we go through puberty, and throughout all of history, that's pretty much what happened. Prior to 50 years ago, women married at an average age of about 15, worldwide, and since at least the beginning of written history. And that's just an average. Even in the US, girls marrying at 13 and 14 wasn't at all remarkable until the 1960s, and some married as early as 11 and 12, though that was rarer. Men on average were a year or two older, but still just barely into their sexual peak years (16-25 or so). Being a virgin on your wedding day wasn't really asking a lot; it was a realistic expectation.

    But you also need to realize that in much of the world, women either didn't go to school AT ALL, or went through 6th Grade or similar. Most men did have some formal education, but even in the US, prior to WWII, most men only had an 8th Grade education; high school wasn't by any means a requirement, and most people lived rural lives that didn't require high levels of education. College was strictly for well-to-do families and a handful of extremely gifted students who were given scholarships.

    Today, a HS diploma is considered the absolute minimum requirement to even be a shopping cart fetcher at Walmart, and most people consider college to be vital for getting a decent job, for both men and women. Hell, many jobs that used to ask for a HS diploma 30 years ago want a MASTER'S degree today. By the type you start career, you're often 25, deeply in debt, and in an entry-level job that will take you several years just to get stable. It's no wonder that people don't get married until they're 30, and often have kids even later. But it's totally unrealistic to expect people to remain celibate for an extra 15+ years, especially given that this means men would be celibate through their entire sexual peak years. It just doesn't happen.

    These changes in our society have happened in just 50 years, or 2.5 generations, and that's so fast that our societal attitudes, rules, and expectations just haven't been able to keep up. People are still teaching their kids rules that simply don't apply in this new paradigm. It's not much different than teaching kids that the earth is flat and the sun revolves around it; those ideas just have no relevance today.

    Until we accept that these old mores are simply not applicable anymore, we'll continue to be hypocritical in our expectations and struggle with the conflict that brings.

    • I don't care and never did care. I don't place a whole lot of value on whether a girl is a virgin or not; so many other things are much more important.

    • thank you and I agree with that I don't think it should matter either.

  • I didn't expect a virgin, I got one.

    Btw, an interesting quote I found on GaG:

    "I think the guys who are obsessed with dating virgins are simply terrified of being compared to past lovers. (A fear that would be even worse if she was a hooker who had many many past lovers.)"


  • I think its accurate that most men prefer their partner to have not been with other men. For some men this is very important, and others its cool little fantasy but not very important.

    It is likely men have some drive to seek out virgins for serious relationships because, for most of our evolution, that guaranteed paternity. Having sex with random women was an effective mating strategy for men, so was finding a woman who would sleep with ONLY him and 'falling in love' and supporting her and the children (which since she was only with him, would be HIS kids).

    In a sense there is 'no win' for anyone in this. I think the traditional approach most cultures undertook was the best effort to address this - young female virgins were married off to relatively young men who had very limited experience outside of perhaps a prostitute. There -was- no long stretch of 'if you do you're a whore if you don't you're prude'. They just skipped straight to the marriage step. Note that people used to remarry very frequently in past centuries as people died off.

    The 'problem' today is that marriage is being pushed way back (far beyond men's sexual peak, and frankly up to the point where female fertility is starting to drop). People are waiting to marry for social/economic reasons but being celibate from puberty till you're mid 30's is not very appealing.

    I suspect most men now just accept they will marry a non virgin. But some don't.

    • Indeed: in the times girls married at 12 or 13 (and often died giving birth to their first child), it was reasonable to expect a girl to remain a virgin till marriage.

  • Unfair (life isn't) and hypocritical (it is, but it's not that simple) as that seems, you see this correctly. A poster here posted a thoughtful and thought provoking article called "Why Men Watch Porn" which offers an explanation for that but also a plausible explanation for the apparent hypocrisy of male sexuality in general. Read it not just to understand why we like to watch BJ's online but why we can "love 'em and leave 'em in our late teens and 20's but become "TV Dads" by age 35. This is it.


    The sophisticated "sex in the city" lifestyle of modern women, looking at sexuality as a gourmet pursuit: "Well, I think I will engage in some multiracial/transgender triple penetration tonight!"...is a lie perpetuated in the media and on the internet. For those women, including posters here, who have been down with several different men by age 21, I question whether they can ever transition into stable, monogamous, loving relationships. They may be good for sport when they are young and firm but not as wives and mothers over the long term.

    Women's modern sexual politics and fixations have turned them into men with Vaginas who pride themselves on lacking and rejecting traditional feminine strongholds like parenting and home making as servitude who will inevitably be washed-up before age 30 when the next batch of fresh puzzy comes along. That's when they seduce some poor sucker with good career prospects into marriage and then begin compiling financial data the following day as they program their divorce lawyer's number into their I-Phones.

    Men: Call this the fukking you get for the fukking you got.

    Cynical? Experience can do that. Minus me as you wish. You all know it's true.

    • Speaking as a woman who was married to a lying, cheating, abusive man, divorce was the best thing that has ever happened to me. I was a stay at home mom. I even homeschooled my kids. I was a good wife and mother. Then one day my ex decided he did not want to be married anymore. So we divorced and he married the woman he was cheating on me with. Which was a blessing. But now I can't ever trust a man again. So some of those poor suckers...get what they deserve.

    • I lived your life in the mirror. Her 3 studs only wanted the wet spot and when she closed on them, they bailed out. She divorced me, I shopped in SE Asia (she's only a few years younger) and live happily ever after while she lives in self-imposed squalor. Lucky me.

    • im not for sure what you are trying to say? and what you posted after the link. I don't think that most women are like that. so what if she wants to have sex? how does that make her unfit to marry or to be a mother? what if your a woman you have to be a virgin to get married and have a child? otherwise your going to be a washed up whore by the age 30? what about men? does having sex before marriage make you unfit to be a dad? sounds like bullsh!t

  • not me. virgins are just another training program. I am willing to train but that is different from marriage.

    • So you want a "well traveled" girl for marriage but you like to break in them fresh fillies?

    • help me out with what seem like horse references for my English.

  • Inexperienced or experienced I don't care much. I would like a virgin for the experience

    • you want to marry a virgin? I don't know what your saying

    • I used the same word in both ends of the phrase to describe 2 different ideas, " inexperienced or experienced" I mean in numbers of how many times have been banged. and in " I would like virgin for the experience I meant I would like to do it with a virgin for to see what its like to divirginize someone, and to experience that particular feeeling

    • okay but my question was about marrying a virgin not if you wanted to have sex with a virgin.

  • I wouldn't even date a girl that is saving herself for marriage, so marrying one is not going to be a possibility.

  • Yes, absolutely, most just realize it is very unlikely to happen so they rationalize it doesn't matter, even if they really would had prefered it.

    Not guy in his right mind would prefer to marry someone and know that other men used her and enjoyed her and made her a woman, and now he only has the leftovers.

    Guys would just shot those images and try not to think about how other man penis and semen was inside his girl, how other men were the ones who made her feel that first pain and know that she remembers it vividly.

    Sometimes you just have to work with what you have. If you love her, I guess you can put up with that and just try to not think about how your children will be inside a house where other men have been.

    • if a woman is a virgin she is probably waiting for marriage and looking for a virgin man waiting for marriage. Also what if a woman looked at you and thought eww you have had sex I don't want to be with a man that isn't a virgin.

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    • that doesn't even answer the question... besides we could lie you know... I mean how do you marry a virgin? unless your married off or you get married right out of hs and you never had sex. I mean at some point in time your going to try to get in her pants even if your dating or whatever... if a woman with held sex until marriage would you respect her wishes and marry her before you had sex with her? I find it hard to believe any man would stay with a woman till marriage and not have sex.

    • Actualy that's more of a reason to get married, don't get me wrong guys will try but if she resist he will marry happier, LOL!n From a muture perspective this doesn't make sense, but that's the truth, I mean obviusly you want to get marry with someone you feel compatible in bed before hand, it is the smart thing to do, but in reality if a girl plays it different, it's a gme well played.

  • Wouldn't matter to me.

  • i wouldn't mind it would mean that we would be on equal turns per say

    • far and few between I agree.

    • it would probably mean it may last long

  • Well then maybe it depends on the individual male? I never wanted a virgin & never had one...all my gfs & wife had experience...wife was married once before...(:(:(:

    • @Update...never wanted one...that is not to say that I would not...or never...just would prefer not

  • I wouldn't marry a virgin. I wouldn't marry a woman who had too many partners neither.

    More than three partners and it's too much.

    • That's a really low number, unless she's young.

      Either you sleep with your boyfriends, or you don't. By the time you're in your late 20's, you've probably dated more then 3 people seriously.

    • I am totally serious about this, and I know or have known quite a few women that weren't changing partners every month when they were younger. I think that's part of the selection process too, to be emotionally stable.

    • how young of girl are you hoping for? she would have to be like 18 to 24 to have had less than 3 guys... and most women who aren't virgins were in serious relationships when they had sex... it's not like they are hookers.

  • I don't consider women prudes for waiting, that's the last thing I'd think. I respect it.

    Based on my own beliefs and preferences, yes I'd like to meet someone like-minded, but in these times it seems almost impossible.

  • Virgins are for marrying, would you rather a used farrari or one brand new?

    • if that is your opinion then you should also stay a virgin so as not to be a hypocrite...

    • no.. girls who are virgin/ aren't virgins prefer guys with experience as they know what they are doing so its a good thing I'm not virgin

    • my point is it is hypocritical for a man to want to marry a virgin when he is not a virgin himself... it makes you sound like your thinking comes from the 1800's

  • Not necessarily a virgin for me, but I don't want anything to do with a promiscuous chick. Fewer partners the better, but I don't sleep around either, so...

    I'd prefer a virgin over a girl that has had several partners and/or casual sexual encounters any day.

    • but you have had sex though... and the women you had sex with are "promiscuous" so doesn't that lower you to being just as bad as the girls you had sex with?

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    • sorry I misunderstood. what I mean was that if you have sex are you on the same level of a female who has also had sex? like the girls you have been with before are they on the same level as you after you have been with them or are they less honorable? does that make sense.

    • Alright. That's better clarification. Well, if she carried herself the way I carried myself, then I would think of her as on the same level. But, if she hinted around for sex really early on or I knew that she was doing it with little or no effort by other guys, I would think less of her as far as dating goes. I don't mind being friends, but nothing more than that.

      However, with all that being said, I can partially understand the thinking of guys that you are referring to here.

  • Yes I will only marry a virgin. but I bang as many girls as I can.

    • That's the spirit!

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    • Thats what girls tell each other and want to believe...

    • no It is something I learned at college in a human sexuality class...

  • If I were to get married I'd pick a prude over a whore any day. My idea girl wouldn't have to be a virgin. That would be hypocritical of me because I was with two girls in my life. However I wouldn't want a town girl and truthfully if she's been with more than 3 or 4 people that's a little scary for me.

    • Like mileage on a used car, eh? "How many miles on that puzzy, sweetie?"

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    • Okay I don't know if Jack was being sarcastic or comical. Maybe a apology is at hand. Either way by the way I've never ever dumped a girl because she wouldn't f*ck, but on the contrary the opposite was true she did me. And no I'm not making that up either. That was an actual fact and her name was Michelle.

    • i was responding to the person who commented sorry I didn't mean you...

What Girls Said 4

  • i've heard both ends...although I think it is hypocritical. because if a man expects sex in a relationship it isn't fair for him to only want to marry a virgin.

  • Most men are freakin' hypocrites.

    Men want to have sex with plenty of females but they don't want to settle with a woman who had partners before them.

    That's their logic.

    • Its not exactly hypocritical to want it. Its hypocritical to seek it out or expect it, perhaps.

      Many men clearly have a drive to have sex with virgins.

      Maybe the problem is people getting married too damn late. Biologically we should be settling down in our teens. Some men do want to have sex with a lot of women, but many might be happy with only having sex with one. Its the being celibate till 15 years after their sexual peak thta's an issue.

    • I've been celibate for 21 years, and it was my choice. It wasn't that hard to suppress my sexual drive all these years. I wish men would do the same, but instead they sleep around and when they get tired of banging "promiscuous" girls, they demand a virgin wife.

      It's extremely shameful when men characterize women as sluts just because they have a sex drive too.

      With the same logic, men who sleep around are "damaged goods" too.

  • Guys are insecure hypocrites, they don't want to be compared to former lovers but they watch p*rn and compare us to p*rn girls! ridiculous, I say if your under 30 and you can count em on one hand then your doing alright, the few virginal 20 year olds I've met have never had a boyfriend and are ridiculously shy, and that's not all women. Sorry guys, you can drop the creepy virgin fantasy.

    • The guys that thumbed this down are probably bitter virgins who are mad cause no one wants to sleep with them.

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    • Lol I see

    • Point made? Probably.

  • Only bitter virgins do

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