Are men's attitudes about this hypocritical? YES!
But that's because society still teaches us that women should be virgins at marriage, when that concept is TOTALLY INCOMPATIBLE with a society where the average marriage age is 30!
Our biology says that we're supposed to start having sex once we go through puberty, and throughout all of history, that's pretty much what happened. Prior to 50 years ago, women married at an average age of about 15, worldwide, and since at least the beginning of written history. And that's just an average. Even in the US, girls marrying at 13 and 14 wasn't at all remarkable until the 1960s, and some married as early as 11 and 12, though that was rarer. Men on average were a year or two older, but still just barely into their sexual peak years (16-25 or so). Being a virgin on your wedding day wasn't really asking a lot; it was a realistic expectation.
But you also need to realize that in much of the world, women either didn't go to school AT ALL, or went through 6th Grade or similar. Most men did have some formal education, but even in the US, prior to WWII, most men only had an 8th Grade education; high school wasn't by any means a requirement, and most people lived rural lives that didn't require high levels of education. College was strictly for well-to-do families and a handful of extremely gifted students who were given scholarships.
Today, a HS diploma is considered the absolute minimum requirement to even be a shopping cart fetcher at Walmart, and most people consider college to be vital for getting a decent job, for both men and women. Hell, many jobs that used to ask for a HS diploma 30 years ago want a MASTER'S degree today. By the type you start career, you're often 25, deeply in debt, and in an entry-level job that will take you several years just to get stable. It's no wonder that people don't get married until they're 30, and often have kids even later. But it's totally unrealistic to expect people to remain celibate for an extra 15+ years, especially given that this means men would be celibate through their entire sexual peak years. It just doesn't happen.
These changes in our society have happened in just 50 years, or 2.5 generations, and that's so fast that our societal attitudes, rules, and expectations just haven't been able to keep up. People are still teaching their kids rules that simply don't apply in this new paradigm. It's not much different than teaching kids that the earth is flat and the sun revolves around it; those ideas just have no relevance today.
Until we accept that these old mores are simply not applicable anymore, we'll continue to be hypocritical in our expectations and struggle with the conflict that brings.