Is it true that guys can fall in love with a girl only if there is sex in the relationship?

Bonus Question: Guys if you are in a relationship with a girl who is a virgin & not ready to have sex would you be patient with her?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I understand that you aren't ready for sex, and that's okay. You shouldn't do it until you are ready.

    Having said that, you need to understand that deciding not to have sex, like any other decision, has consequences. The most obvious one is that the majority of guys aren't going to want to date you. You're going to have to seek out the few who are willing to have a sexless relationship, or at least, wait a long period of time before having it. That's going to be MOSTLY very religious guys and a few asexuals.

    You are an adult, and the guys you are going to date are adults. The vast majority of adults of either gender expect sex to be a part of a romantic adult relationship, and for most, if sex is off the table, then so is the romantic part, and you're really just FRIENDS. For most people, there is no point in having a romantic relationship that doesn't include sex; it's like going to out dinner and only being served a glass of water. It's frustrating and pointless to most.

    Again, I'm not telling you to change, I'm telling you not to expect OTHERS to change either. It isn't fair or reasonable for you to expect other people to go without a key portion of a relationship if they clearly don't see it as an optional thing for them. Understand that they are the norm, and you are the exception. So, as an outlier, you have to accept that you have very limited options.

    If I decided that I would only date girls who are 5'4", white with freckles, blue eyes, jet black hair, and 32D bra, well, I am free to make that decision, but I can't really complain when I find that those girls are quite rare and take a ton of time and effort to find. I can either accept that it will be hard work to find them, or I can change my requirements. What I *can't* do is expect girls to transform themselves into my personal ideal somehow, because I can only change myself.

    As far as your bonus question: I would wait up to 6 months for a girl who was a virgin and wasn't ready on Day 1. Is that "being patient"? That's for you to decide. In my opinion, that IS patient, but you might disagree. It's definitely something we would talk a lot about before we even got together, though.