Every time I go to finger her she'll push my hand away or move it somewhere else, this has happened on 4 different occasions
i apologized to her afterwards because I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable or anything and we're really open and can talk about things so we were talking and she said that its not that she's not ready its just she's never let anyone do it before. I said I don't wanna pressure her into anything and told her to let me know when she's ready but she insists I do it even though she's scared- she even said for me not to listen to her and just do it if she tries to stop me next time =/ I know little things like this mean a lot to her and I want to make it as easy going as I can for her so is there any advise how I can do that?
She says she is not ready but she wants you to do it anyways. Don't do it, you'll make her regret it. I think what she means is she is not ready but she feels bad telling you no. Just leave it alone and let her tell you when she is ready. Getting her to ease up is a stupid idea and it's making her feel pressured.
I thought your goal was celibacy, friend. This is the wrong way to go about that goal, because fingering is definitely not the kind of activity a celibate individual would engage in. It is sexual activity and is not in any way chaste outside of a marriage context.
Also, pay attention to her signs--she is telling you she doesn't want you to do that. So respect her. If she is not ready, don't do it.